Mysteriously Being Ignored

[A]

Let me present you with a quote from my newest blog post to explain first.

I Actually Do Yearn for Love a Lot

Recently, I have spoken on MSN with the first MTF my age from Québec I have met (and a French speaker at that). It was only one conversation, but it was very helping and, overall, heartwarming. I was truly fully opening up to someone for the first time (with my family, it's kind of the culture to talk very little, and well, I'm generally shy). In one afternoon, I felt like I had formed a true friendship, perhaps one of the strongest in my life. I met that person here at Susan's. However, though that person is replying to my posts normally, she ignores all of my messages, e-mails, PMs, etc. and I find it incredibly painful. [I'm afraid she sees me as too clingy and thinks I'm a stalker. A question thread will be posted soon regarding this; I'm definitely confused.]

It's weird and perhaps pathetic, but if this is just a small first taste of true, honest feelings of friendship, it must really be amazing. My chest hurts and my throat gets a knot in it from yearning for love. I guess I'm half-opening a door on which pressure had been accumulating for long, so it overflows. I have never felt a stronger moment of emotion than now, writing this, yearning for a true female self so I can have such honest relationships. However, it is with regret that I admit the sad truth that I am not comfortable enough with myself to do such a thing right now.

I feel happy at the same time: this feeling wipes away any doubts I might have had.

Here is the situation. That person (whose identity I shall not reveal, out of decency) did tell me she was shy, but I am too, and I don't reckon I have ever ignored
someone like that.

It's pretty pathetic, but as I have never "really" had friends, I am having trouble understanding what is going on and how to react. What is troubling, over everything, is that she
replies to my posts just like any other member's, very casually. But she should have seen my 10 MSN messages, one Facebook message and one PM, right?

What should I do?

EDIT: I just realized that she could read this, which would be pretty awkward. But I don't expect her to reply: none of my "please tell me if you do not want to talk
to me anymore, but say something" worked... Perhaps she thinks I'm in love? This is so confusing!

[Sephirah]

It's hard to say something like "I don't want to talk to you anymore", and some people don't like confrontation, especially shy people. Maybe she just doesn't know how to tell you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Granted, ignoring your messages has the same effect, but maybe in her mind it's the lesser of two evils.

My advice would be to try and move past this, and let her approach you if she wants to take your friendship any further than what you have at the moment. Maybe she does just want a casual acquaintanceship, replying to your posts and such, and feels uncomfortable about anything more (because of her own state of mind, not necessarily because of anything to do with you). It's hard to say what issues people have in their own lives, and forming connections with others can be hard if you're very unsure of yourself, and have spent your life not letting others get close for fear of being hurt. Replying to posts from a position of relative anonymity is one thing, but to take that further into a one-to-one relationship can be difficult for some.

[Hikari]

I don't know how they feel or anything, but the easiest way for me to make friends with people is just talking to them causally, while being honest, and "myself" as in not putting up any fronts to make them like me more.

Friendship is a strange thing, but I find that it just happens more or less, if I try and make it happen though I usually fail. It is like one of those things that if you put too much effort into you will usually fail, but if you don't put any effort in (i.e. not talking to people or meeting people) then it isn't really possible to succeed either.

I hope this was somewhat helpful to you, all things in balance I suppose is what I am getting at.

[Muffins]

I've been in situations like this a LOT, and sometimes it's been me that never went back and sometimes it's the other. It's strange to connect with someone so deeply so quickly and then walk away gasping wondering what just happened.. and yet also strangely having no interest in going back. I don't think I have an answer for those situations I've experienced, maybe I felt like I gained all I wanted from that person? OR that I want to retain that memory of a great conversation and not ruin it by going back for more? I don't know. People come and people go all the time and with time you get used to saying goodbye, or not even getting the chance to say goodbye. I seem to rotate internet friends every 12-18months and I've been using the net since 2002.

[A]

Thank you for your input. I guess I will keep on hoping she gives me an explanation, but in silence.

[Amazon D]

Didn't she say she wasn't transitioned enough to meet ?? it is with regret that I admit the sad truth that I am not comfortable enough with myself to do such a thing right now.Sounds pretty simple to me.. Lots of people come here and want to transition and do some but some can't or won't do any so they then can't follow thru with meetings.. 

been there done that.. so many times i traveled around the USA to find the other person hadn't done  anything towards transitioning and were just role playing.. or couldn't do it for some reason..

[A]

Just a precision : I have not been wanting to meet or have a huge relationship (well, I may have secretly hoped that she became a true friend, but I don't believe I
actually SAID that. Actually she talked about meeting and I said that I lived too far away. Actually, we just
had a one-afternoon conversation talking about our respective stories, then we said bye. After that, I "Hi"'d her once every 1-2 days on MSN and she didn't reply.
At some time I created a Facebook account out of nowhere and decided to add her. I sent her a message like "Hey it's me, <email address>; I thought I would add you."
and she accepted my friend request. After that, I "Hi"'d her a couple more times without an answer, which I found weird since she had just added me on Facebook.
Finally I sent her a Facebook message saying "Hey, I don't mind if you don't want to talk to me, but could you make it clear?" or something akin to that, which was left
unreplied to. Finally, thinking she may have not been reading her Facebook inbox and kinda worried something may have happened to her, I sent her a PM here,
saying something like "This is my last attempt to contact you. I would really want you to reply or at least clearly show me that you don't want me to contact you
anymore by deleting me from MSN and/or Facebook, but if you don't, I will take it that you really don't want to talk to me and will not contact you again."

Left without an answer, I took it either something had really happened to her or I really creeped her out. I made this topic wishing to understand more afterwards.

But now, as I have, the other day, seen her on the "Users reading this topic" list, I know she is fine and that she really just wants me to leave her alone and is too shy
or polite to say it, which, whilst not the best news ever, is reassuring.

EDIT: Looking back, I really feel like a clingy girlfriend without a relationship --".

[A]

That's what I'll do. Though I haven't sunk as low as say "do you like me?" It's just that having had very few relationships, I didn't quite know how to react as this is the
first time I've experimented such a situation.

I appreciate the input though, and I AM trying to socialize a bit, even though it's very hard.

[Amazon D]

That's what I'll do. Though I haven't sunk as low as say "do you like me?" It's just that having had very few relationships, I didn't quite know how to react as this is the
first time I've experimented such a situation.

I appreciate the input though, and I AM trying to socialize a bit, even though it's very hard.

awww hugs there from a much older trans friend..

I remember going thru things like this too.. i have been single and celibate ever since  ..like 14 yrs now.. so listen to the others and just let them go.. if they come back.. so be it and if not so be it..