Changing your name when your birth name is unisex?

[yarblockos]

I feel for guys who have to deal with birth names like "Jennifer" and "Katherine," but of all the unfortunate things we trans-guys get to deal with, I was at least lucky enough to be given an "androgynous" name at birth. I was named Raleigh, pronounced Rah-lee, just like the capital of North Carolina. As far as I've read about my name (I've read a lot), it's one of the few old-timey English names that still is completely unisex and hasn't made the "cross-over" to female, and is actually still thought of as more of a unique male name than female. Usually females are given other "versions" of my name that are spelled and pronounced differently, like "Raeleigh," "Ryleigh" and so forth. Even before I knew I was trans, I've wanted to change my name because SO MANY friggin' people have a problem with pronouncing it and spelling it (riley, rail-ee, rally, rolly), and nearly eighteen years of this ->-bleeped-<-tery just leaves me tired of constantly correcting people. But recently, I've started to appreciate the androgyny and uniqueness of the name, and have started to consider keeping it. I have a few problems though:

-If I keep my name, I'll get to keep dealing with misspellings and mispronunciations for the rest of my life.
-When I meet people who've never heard my name and can't tell if I'm a boy or a girl, they'll probably automatically assume the "leigh" ending in my name means I'm a girl, and that my name is a girl's name, and therefore there'll be irritating confusion.
-I live in the U.S. state of Merry Maryland, and I'm not sure what their rules are for changing your sex on legal documents. Do you absolutely have to change your name in order to change the sex on your documents, even if you were given a unisex name at birth?

I mean, I'm not entirely sure that I want to keep my birth name, and I'm still debating over it. I haven't really had a male name "come to me" yet like a lot of trans-guys my age already have, and I think that's mostly because I'm in no urgent hurry to change my name since it's unisex. But I'll (probably) be going off to college next year, and if I do, I want to enroll with the name I plan to go by permanently, so I should probably start making up my mind soon. I just can't see me going by anything but "Raleigh," even though I'm not too crazy about the name in spite of its "interesting-ness," although a lot of people I come across seem to think it's an awesome name. I feel like I should just go for something that's unmistakably masculine, but I have no idea what.

So I was wondering, how do you feel about changing your name when it's already unisex? I know that in the end the only person who can really decide is me, but I was thinking some input from others would be helpful. What do you think of the name Raleigh, too, in terms of helping me pass as male? I'm very androgynous looking, so causing confusion with my name would just be obnoxious, even though since it's my birth name I can't really help that. As for my middle name (Elisabeth - an old German family name), well, that's gonna have to go, no doubt, lol.

[Silas]

My given name is "Christian", I'm the only guy with it in my entire school. All the other name-Christians are girls. It's a unisex name, so a few relatives have given me grief about changing my name, although I did end up with a sort of compromise -- My name's now Christopher Ian (not yet legally). I don't want to keep my name, as I hate it, but I am fine with the compromise that came to me.

If you dislike your name, unisex or not, change it! That's what I think, ha.

Raleigh seems fairly unisex to me, although I can see how people would think it female. You could go the route of making Raleigh your middle name and finding a masculine first name.

[Natkat]

I got a unisex firstname and many transpeople I know do because the laws here dosent allow transgender to have gendernames who are diffrent from what there born (unless you go thought alot of mess)
I feel if your passing fine a genderneutral name dosent really make that big deal,
also some trans people use there middle name wich have no special genderlow, and so do some cis-gender people who just prefern there middle name or give themself a nickname they perfern..

I will say, that someone dosent know the name already then I dont think there going to think twice about if it a girl name or a boy name, I studing japanese for the time and the only way I can know if the japanese names are girl name or boyname (at first) where because I had read/seen/heard people who where girl or boy having that name. if it where interduced to me for the first time I would never guess if it where girl or a guy. also before chancing my name I had a 100% girl name, but once I told a guy my name he still thought me as a guy because he never had heard the name before.
so dont worry to much about that part.. only thing is if your in a special country some names can be seen more girl or more boyish, ex here the name "robin" and "kim" is more of a boyname where in england it more of girls name..
and "marie" is a male name in france but if your named marie here it would be a girl name..
--
in general I feel people chancing there name is there own choice for whatever reason they have.
beside the trans people I know I got friends who wanted to chance ther name and who have chanced there name.

if you feel like it dosent fit you and your sure about it, wanting something ells then you can do so,
of corse chancing name can be a mess but that what your ganna take,

[Robert Scott]

My legal first name is Robyn .... which is very unisex ... but I have changed it to Robert --- so my friends who called me Rob prior to transitioning won't have a problem adjusting & it sent a clear message to those folks who are not accepting that I was making a change

As for changing your name legally --- you have the right to change it no matter what state you live in --- you can't be stopped from changing your name unless your doing it for fraud reasons

[Bahzi]

Mine's 'Lindsey'.  In many European countries, (although more often spelled 'Lindsay'), it's a perfectly acceptable boys name, in the states it's almost unanimously female.  All the same, I'm contemplating keeping it.  For the time being I can't change it because I'm trying to get financial aid secured for school which I'll be starting in less than 2 months, but once that's all settled, I could. 

I've also not found any more masculine names that seem to fit.  I have friends who want to be on the so-called 're-naming committee', but I'm skeptical that anything would 'click' enough that I'd want to be stuck with it forever.  I've considered the option of changing my middle name to Lindsey, and picking something more masculine for my first name, so that friends could still call me Lindsey but it might be easier for official purposes.  Although I have noticed that since my voice has dropped, even on the phone now it's always 'Mr. Lindsey _____' instead of miss.   

So I kind of understand your dilemma, Zeusinfurs.  I can't see myself answering to anything else in social situations, but at the same time, don't want to deal with people who don't know me assuming I'm female solely based on my name.  It's a tough call, but for what it's worth, Raleigh's a cool name!

[Sam-]

My name is unisex (well the short version of it) so I have no problem going by it. It's all about personal preference, if you're comfortable with you're name then keep it, if not then change it. Doesn't matter if it's stereotypically unisex or not, it's your name and you're the one who has to be called it all the time.

By the way, Bahzi, I really like the name Lindsey for a male.

[sneakersjay]

Kimberley, Shirley, and Ashley used to be male names and now are predominantly female.  Yet there are still guys with those names.

Keeping your name is a heck of a lot easier than changing it.

But that is your personal decision.  If I had a unisex name I would have kept it.


Jay

[Luc]

I'm hoping to name a future son Ashley, so I guess that shows you where I lie on the unisex name debate. My birth name was Rachel (let's not let that get around, though, shall we?), so there was absolutely no way of making it work... and I hated it from birth, anyway. But if you're happy with your name (Raleigh), why not keep it? I'm 29, so I guess I'm a bit of an old fogey when compared to the young guys often on this site, but when I was in high school, every person named Riley (never met anyone named Raleigh) was a guy. Now, in the current generation, Riley is almost always a girl's name. Times change, people change, and really, a name is only what people call you--- that is, it doesn't say who you really are. I met an incredibly masculine, bio-male professor last year whose first name is David, though he prefers to go by Lynn, his middle name. I'm quite certain no one ever wondered whether he was trans. There is, funnily enough, a transman who works as a professor at the same school, but his name is traditionally masculine, and I never would have known he was trans had he not made it public.

So what's in a name? If you're not afraid to have a name that may once in awhile be misconstrued as female, why not go for it? Once you're on T, it won't matter anyway. And I've met about 3 girls in my lifetime named Michael who will tell you it doesn't matter what your name is; people will judge your gender by how you look.

[driven]

I feel for guys who have to deal with birth names like "Jennifer" and "Katherine,"

Oh God, those are my actual middle and first names. Thanks so much, parents.

I'm so jealous of all you guys with unisex names 'cause I think there's gonna be a long lag time between my going on T and changing my name. Not exactly sure how I'm gonna handle being a hairy little dude with Katherine on all my ID...should be interesting.

I think Raleigh's a cool name and wouldn't automatically assume it was a girl's name unless you looked really girly. If nothing else, you could probably get by with it until you do come across a name that you really identify with. From what I've read, it seems like the first name change is easier than changing it a second time.

[malinkibear]

Raleigh makes me think of the character from Journey's End, though that was his surname. I named one of my hamsters after him a few years ago, I like it :p
A name change is a personal thing. People never getting it right might be enough to convince you to change, transgendered issues notwithstanding. I don't think the 'leigh' ending automatically makes it feminine, though.

[Da Monkey]

Oh God, those are my actual middle and first names.

Hahahah I know right, my birth name was one of those.

Thanks for that dude hahah.

I felt bad at first changing it because my mom always loved that name but she can still call me it, it doesn't bother me if it's from her. But my middle name was picked after my aunt Pat and she passed away 2 years before I changed my name so I changed my middle name to the male version of it, luckily there was one.

[asher]

I'm also from the Merry Land haha, and have a unisex name. Ashley. I know here it's more predominantly female, but I actually really like boy names that are unisex or sound female, so I've considered keeping it.
There's something about still being called my birth name I'm not quite comfortable with, so I'm not sure about it. I'm trying on similar things instead for now.
But I'd definitely be interested to know if anyone else has information on whether or not you HAVE to change your name to change your sex legally in this state.