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How do you feel ?

Started by ZaidaZadkiel, August 16, 2011, 10:51:27 AM

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BlueSloth

Quote from: Ativan on January 29, 2012, 12:19:56 AM
I should go watch TV, that is so fricken slow it should do the trick.
Huh.  Doesn't look slow to me..

Anyway, I'm feeling...  umm, I don't know, things are going so very right and so very wrong.  What a year so far.  Wild ride.
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Joeyboo~ :3

I hate being hairy.
I'm invited to go to the movies again since more friends wanted to watch the same movie i was supposed to watch yesterday, but now I'm all prickly.
I hate it. :|
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Julian

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foosnark

Annoyed.  My company is indirectly doing business with a relatively well-known and respected transwoman, who the conservative among us has worked for before she transitioned roughly 15 years ago.  He apparently cannot even so much as hear her name without suffering massive pronoun malfunctions and speculating as to whether she really wants to be addressed as a woman or not.

Granted, people have publicly said much worse about her, but not when I was there to answer.

Makes me wonder how I'd be faring now if my soul-searching last year had brought me to the conclusion that I had to transition.

I came close to saying something today, and I still might if he keeps this up.
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Shantel

Quote from: foosnark on February 09, 2012, 11:50:14 AM

I came close to saying something today, and I still might if he keeps this up.

You can without necessarily outing yourself if that would be a problem, and you should. If not for her sake then do it for your own sake and sleep well at night knowing that you did the right thing!
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Julian

Triggered. And weepy. This has been happening a lot lately.
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Shantel

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ativan

Quote from: Shantel on February 09, 2012, 01:09:52 PM
You can without necessarily outing yourself if that would be a problem, and you should. If not for her sake then do it for your own sake and sleep well at night knowing that you did the right thing!
I agree
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ativan

Quote from: Julian on February 09, 2012, 03:21:34 PM
Triggered. And weepy. This has been happening a lot lately.
Me too. A memory that had been hidden quite well suddenly came up and I can't seem to close that door again.
Hang in there Julian! (hugs)
Ativan
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Julian

Quote from: Ativan on February 10, 2012, 05:36:41 AM
Me too. A memory that had been hidden quite well suddenly came up and I can't seem to close that door again.
Hang in there Julian! (hugs)
Ativan

Hugs!

I've got some unwelcome memories too. This time last year was really hard.
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ativan

I feel like I should explain something.
But, how would I?
I can't explain it to myself.
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Fenrir

Self-analytical. Sleepy. Anxious. But to be honest that's normal for when I need to go to sleep!  :D  :-\
(Sorry for the smiley combo, best way I could think of to express my sort of worried amusement about that fact?  ???)
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ativan

I found out my 3yr psych evaluation is again due by May.
My anxiety level was through the roof, I got caught for it.
After a long talk, I've now settled into a depressed state that I shouldn't be in.
Everything just sucks.
I hate this feeling.
I hate being who I am.
I need my therapist for an entire day.
I just need her. She's that good.
*silently screaming in agony*...
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Fenrir

Oh, Ativan. If I could hug you physically, I would. ):

As for me, I'm tired, and sort of wishing that I hadn't volunteered for something that will mean me waking up ridiculously early tomorrow! I'm a bit of a drama junkie, and they desperately needed someone backstage for a play that's showing at 2pm tomorrow. I haven't done backstage stuff in years, and the one time I did I messed up badly because we never had a tech rehearsal, and it's looking like this one won't either...  8) wish me luck!
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ativan

Quote from: Ativan on February 15, 2012, 08:24:48 PM
I found out my 3yr psych evaluation is again due by May.
My anxiety level was through the roof, I got caught for it.
After a long talk, I've now settled into a depressed state that I shouldn't be in.
Everything just sucks.
I hate this feeling.
I hate being who I am.
I need my therapist for an entire day.
I just need her. She's that good.
*silently screaming in agony*...
She just sent me an email:  'I know how much you hate this but have to cancel apt 3/15 a much needed vac is on my schedule see you soon!'
->-bleeped-<- her... I don't need this, I don't need her any longer. 'I know how much you hate this'? Is this supposed to make me feel better, because she knows? ->-bleeped-<- her, I don't need this, I would cancel the rest of my appts if it wasn't for the evaluation that starts with her. ->-bleeped-<- her, it can take from three months to six months to get an appt with the right therapist, and then have to go through the whole why BS waste of time sh*t for at least a good month. That's like a major set back, time wise. ->-bleeped-<- her and her 'I know how much you hate this' Sh*t. As it is, I haven't been able to get the number of appts I can have because they have started to overbook like the ->-bleeped-<-ing always banckrupt airlines.
I wish I could just drop the whole place, but the county won't allow for that, unless I have a firm commitment from another place. And like I said, for what I need, it can take 6 months just to get an evaluation appt., and then possibly months before a regular schedule can be set up. Could go for up to a year before being effective. That would mean I would have to rely on my regular doc for psyche meds? Just ->-bleeped-<-ing shoot me so it is done. *walks in front of a truck on the highway...*

Otherwise, oh, I just feel fine. kind of peaceful. I always wonder about the calm. It shouldn't be there. There's to much serenity for who I am.
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Fenrir

Well then email her and tell her that's not good enough. It's very unprofessional of her to leave you hanging when she shouldn't.
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ativan

Did just that and left her hanging, in a revengeful way.

I know that's not the right way to play, but I didn't start it.
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ativan

Quote from: Ativan on February 18, 2012, 05:39:11 PM
Did just that and left her hanging, in a revengeful way.

I know that's not the right way to play, but I didn't start it.
OK... Fenrir, thanks for the hug.

I may or may not apologize to my therapist, I have time to think about it.

But!, I do apologize for ranting in the manner I did here. I'll leave it up, if only for my personal reference. Sorry for all the F'n's.
Just needed a space to unload. It's done now, I have calmed down and am weighing my options.
Again, especially for those who don't know me, I'm sorry for using this space to unleash a rant of that kind.

Ativan
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BlueSloth

Quote from: BlueSloth on February 04, 2012, 03:18:21 AM
What a year so far.  Wild ride.
Yup... still going.  I expect to be emotionally seasick at some point.

I've concluded that I'm a soap opera character.
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Shang

I feel good, great in fact.  I don't see why I should since all that's happened in the last week, but I'm feeling fantastic.
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