Quote from: Sky-Blue on April 10, 2013, 08:16:36 AM
Disappointed and just generally depressed. I'm sick of having to chase down doctors and therapists just because they know nothing about trans health care. I feel like a freakin' human encyclopedia, like I should have to provide all of the information...yeah right, and who's supposed to be the "professional".
First off, it's not pointless. It's frustrating as hell, it usually is.
Getting a therapist that knows about non-binary people is priceless. I keep stressing this point.
Because they are really hard to find. But not impossible.
The amount of information that they have to soak up is a lot and it's not the same as for the Transsexuals they treat.
They're very similar, but it's really difficult for anyone, even therapists, to shift gears into a world that isn't as binary as they grew up in.
There is lots of information out there, it's kind of scattered, but not as much as most therapist think.
http://www.phs.umn.edu/Right there is the link to the people who literally pushed the idea of non-binary people on the world.
My old Psychologist is Dr Walter Bockting. He moved to Columbia University in NY last Dec.
I now see Dr Gonzalez. I have been seeing Dr Feldman for a few yrs now.
Google Bockting, I think you'll find that his credentials are amazing. He was a past President of WPATH and was and is very instrumental in Trans* healthcare. He literally wrote the book about non-binary and when he couldn't get anywhere in the US, he took his lectures to Europe. Once they grabbed ahold of the concept, the people in the US soon embraced it.
Check out the Bio's on Dr Feldman, and the work she and others have done there not only around the US, but Europe as well.
This applies to finding a medical Dr as well as therapists. You will have to teach them about us.
If they are any good, they will take the time to learn more, to be of more help to us.
My current therapist talked with Dr Bockting and Gonzalez to confer notes about me. She was very impressed with them.
She's a management consultant for an international corporation and does management lectures and training courses for them.
Today is my last time I will see her, she is going to be spending more time with her management position with the corporation.
I will miss her a lot. Just like I miss Walter. But life goes on, and I'm sure things will be OK. I'm happy for her.
The point she made at our last meeting was that I taught her so much about non-binary people.
She is going to use that info in her new position. She wants to learn more, she wants to help us by teaching others now.
I had to teach her about people like us, she in turn taught me more about myself, knowing more from me.
She's a very highly regarded therapist and I had to teach her. That's how it works.
Any and all information they have at PHS is available to other Psychologists, Drs, therapist, etc. They only need to contact them.
They can make referrals for them to pick up additional info in other places as well.
They are very good with this, they work really hard at not only research, but making the results known for the professionals that need it.
Yet, at the same time, I am always answering questions for them, too. It's the way it works.
Therapists and Psychologists don't know all there is to know about non-binaries, nor do they know everything there is about Trans* people in general.
It's an ongoing process.
I opened my therapists eyes to my own nature, she in turn used that information with her knowledge of therapy and we ended up with a very good healthy relationship that I also have come away with knowing more about myself. This is how it works. It's a two way street.
There isn't anyone, therapist, psychologist, medical Dr, who is going to have as much information about you as you already do.
It's a back and forth process to work with them. It's not just a matter of them telling you what they know.
There isn't any college or university courses that are about nonbinary people.
There are of course one off lectures and things like that, but there isn't a course that they go through front to back and come out knowing all there is to know about us, let alone Trans* people in general.
Not very many specialize in us. Not that many are specialists in Trans* people only.
But there are many who want more info. PHS is one of the best for that.
The other is you, all of you. It is up to us to make sure they understand correctly, what we are all about.
That's a pretty tall order considering how diverse we are.
We learn from each other here in this section of a Trans* forum. Use that information to help them also.
It will make them a better professional for the next non-binary they see. It will make them a better professional for you while you see them.
If they aren't willing to listen and learn, don't waste your time on them, move on.
There are more and more professionals that are more than willing to learn.
These are the people to seek out. If you keep looking for that one who will know it all, you won't find them.
The people that know us best are ourselves.
But they can use the knowledge they have to work with you. It's a give and take.
It's frustrating as hell to run into so called professionals that aren't willing to learn.
Those are the ones who will ultimately fail as professionals, or become specialized into something that probably has nothing to offer you.
Leave them alone. Run away!
Go find someone who has been waiting for you to show up and teach them as well as they are going to be helping you.
That's just the way it is. There isn't any getting around it.
You don't just walk into a therapists office, listen and walk out all happy and sh*t.
You have to tell them everything, everything about you if you are going to get anything back from them.
Just like there isn't a good for everything that ails you med.
And any therapist who makes a claim like that is a snake oil salesperson. Run away!
Look for a therapist who is interested in you.
It takes time for them to get to know you well enough for them to work with you.
The more you tell them the better.
Even if you have to teach them about your particular brand of non-binary.
Because you are not in any book, anywhere.
But you are a walking talking fountain of information. About you.
Don't give up on therapists, it takes going through a few to find the right one for yourself, it takes time.
Which is one of the more important things to know about any help, medically, transitionally, HRT use, all of it.
It takes time. It takes time. It is going to take time. There isn't any short cuts.
If you think you have found one, be very careful.
Short cuts would be the main road if it wasn't for something wrong with them. Some of them could kill you.
They just aren't worth it. Plan on taking the time to get to were you want to be.
Have a plan, you need to make one.
You also need to be flexible enough to change your plan, because you are going to change as you move along with whatever that original plan was.
It will change, because you are going to change.
Isn't that the whole point of it?
Don't give up. There are people who truly care about you.
Not just care, but care about you.
I know I do. Because I have found that people are out there that cared enough about me.
Enough to keep giving me more and better chances, despite my mistakes.
I care. We care. And so do you. You matter more than you know.
Ativan
