Validation Of One's Transsexuality

[Kimberly]

Interestingly I broke before it became unbearable. A few scant weeks away from my 30th birthday I sat on my bad and marveled that I made if half way, that I was half dead and could stop this before long. ... and then I realized I would probably not die at 60, and depression returned. ^*shrug* I think for the majority of us it takes climbing to the top of the proverbial rope and finally slipping and falling back. So close, yet so far. An good bloody riddance.

^*shrug*

Cindy is exactly right, I think.

We already know what we are. It is integral and relentless, as we all already know.

Trust yourself. I know for certain society in general and humanity in particular is blind to so so many things.  No one knows you like yourself. TRUST yourself. Your validation papers are already stamped, you need but look.

[Shana A]

It's whats between "YOUR" ears that matters, and what/drives causes the TS to be.

Sometimes it seems just as many find it hard to admit they are TS it's just as hard for some to admit they are not.

Yes Steph, that's the truth! Whether one is or isn't TS, either way it takes a significant amount of soul searching to discover the answer. I first awoke to an understanding of myself as transgendered in 1993, with various not so subtle hints before that  , and I'm still in an ever unfolding process of discovery and figuring out where I live in this glorious gender continuum.

zythyra

[Suzy]

Yes Steph, that's the truth! Whether one is or isn't TS, either way it takes a significant amount of soul searching to discover the answer. I first awoke to an understanding of myself as transgendered in 1993, with various not so subtle hints before that  , and I'm still in an ever unfolding process of discovery and figuring out where I live in this glorious gender continuum.
zythyra

I agree, Zythyra!

I wonder why we see so much of the "all or nothing" on here.  Where is the TS line drawn?  And who gets to make that decision?  I'm glad to walk with a fellow traveler on this road to discovery.  And how much of what we are, and what we will eventually be, is determined by circumstances beyond our own control?  Some argue that if one is really TS s/he will transition at all costs.  But I know of those who just can't because of issues such as finances, family, illness, and other relational circumstances.  Who are we to judge?  These can be the most painful of all, when transition is not seen as an option.  I hope that we will always choose the path of supporting all of those who walk this lonely road.



Kristi

[Lucy]

I wonder why we see so much of the "all or nothing" on here.  Where is the TS line drawn?  And who gets to make that decision?  I'm glad to walk with a fellow traveler on this road to discovery.  And how much of what we are, and what we will eventually be, is determined by circumstances beyond our own control?  Some argue that if one is really TS s/he will transition at all costs.  But I know of those who just can't because of issues such as finances, family, illness, and other relational circumstances.  Who are we to judge?  These can be the most painful of all, when transition is not seen as an option.  I hope that we will always choose the path of supporting all of those who walk this lonely road.



Kristi

Kirsty

I am one of those people you talk about, I consider myself TS but undiagnosed. I cant decide which path to follow. Should I not transition and live with my wife until the day I die, I know will lead to magor depression and theropy sessions. Or should I let my self be the woman and transition. This path is just as harm full to a persons well being, self confidence and of course finances. If I choose to do this I loose every thing and every one I ever loved.

My point is I dont need some doctor to tell me what I allreadry know, I am what I am but what I decide to do for health reasons is a choice I have to make, a very hard choice and it wont be an easy on.

Lucy Just Lucy
xxx xxx xxx xxx

[Melissa]

A good question to ask yourself is "When I am in my last days and death is upon me, will I wish I would have transitioned or will I be glad I had not?"

Melissa

[Lucy]

Not a fair question, Yes im sure that all TS people wish that they had transitioned but it is unrealistic and again funfair to assume that we all could do it. If I decide to stand by my obligations as a husband and forgo the possibility of being the true person I am thats my choice.

I only wish and hope I can join you all on this path but it just may not be possible

sorry for getting upset
LUCY

[Nikki_W]

Not a fair question, Yes im sure that all TS people wish that they had transitioned but it is unrealistic and again funfair to assume that we all could do it. If I decide to stand by my obligations as a husband and forgo the possibility of being the true person I am thats my choice.

It's a fair question but put it in the full context of your life. At the end of your life will you wish you had transitioned or be glad you didn't and stood by your obligations.

Transition isn't an isolated decision now or at the end of your life. Just as you are making the decision now whether or not to transition in the full context of your life, when looking at the decision from the perspective of life's end compare the choice to all the options you had in your life.

[Suzy]

Transition isn't an isolated decision now or at the end of your life.

Precisely my point.  The level of one's own happiness is something all of us put more or less value on.  And there are pros and cons no matter which way this is argued.  I would simply say that it an intensely personal choice that will affect many lives all around us.  Some of us would rather die than live with the consequences of transitioning.  And some of us would rather transition than die, and that ends up being the choice.  Then there are some who are (I believe) truly TS who are able to make it work by doing so part-time, fully knowing the consequences it will have on his/her life. 

Kristi

[Melissa]

If I decide to stand by my obligations as a husband and forgo the possibility of being the true person I am thats my choice.

If you truly feel that's a viable option, then it might be right for you.  I know that option was no longer available for me once I had figured out what was wrong.  It was more of a matter of hoping I could transition before I chose suicide.  My life in general IS better than it was previously already, but I think that was due to embracing transition rather than resisting it.  If you feel you could be happy living as male, I can tell you THAT option will be SO much easier.  Transition takes it's toll on your soul and you either will be completely torn apart or you will grow stronger than you ever thought possible.

Melissa

[TheBattler]

Julie....


               S  T  A  M  P

There's your official stamp of validation.

You're doing fine.

Cindi

Awww, Surly it is not that easy.


Alice

But it can be.  Life is what you make out of it.  Why do we make things more complicated than they need to be?  Our lives are already pretty messed up as it is.  Shouldn't we just make a simple decision and stick with it until we find something better?  Why not?

Cindi

I have spent 36 years building up a life and getting comfortable with everything except my feminine side. I am not going to throw it away that easiy - just because I like to wear skirts. I need to ensure I am feminine enough before I transistion.

Alice

[Kate]

Transition isn't an isolated decision...

Given enough time, it usually becomes one. One by one, the "I can't do this because..." protests become consumed by the GID until there's just nothing else, nowhere else to go.

Kate

[Lucy]

Transition isn't an isolated decision...

Given enough time, it usually becomes one. One by one, the "I can't do this because..." protests become consumed by the GID until there's just nothing else, nowhere else to go.

Kate

My life cae to a compleate standstill recently and I didnt know where to go, the GID took over and my head was willed with this stuff, through your help ive been able to surpess it move on for another day, I hope I can stand by my obligations. You are right where you say the GID gets stronger, Ive allready noticed that, I dont think I could cope if it got worst. Transition may be the only way. If I have tyo I hope I do it sooner rather than later.

You know what I mean.

lucy

[Melissa]

My life cae to a compleate standstill recently and I didnt know where to go, the GID took over and my head was willed with this stuff, through your help ive been able to surpess it move on for another day, I hope I can stand by my obligations. You are right where you say the GID gets stronger, Ive allready noticed that, I dont think I could cope if it got worst. Transition may be the only way. If I have tyo I hope I do it sooner rather than later.

You know what I mean.

Sounds like me except it mine was was too intense to supress.

Melissa

[Nikki_W]

Transition isn't an isolated decision...

Given enough time, it usually becomes one. One by one, the "I can't do this because..." protests become consumed by the GID until there's just nothing else, nowhere else to go.

That doesn't make it an isolated decision just one that with time you value more compared to the alternatives. I won't get into economics but even at the transition or die choice the other alternatives still exist and the decision to transition still affects them all. Just at that point you value transition so much the only other option that gives even near as many utils(sorry) is death.

[Kimberly]

A good question to ask yourself is "When I am in my last days and death is upon me, will I wish I would have transitioned or will I be glad I had not?"

Melissa

^*snicker*
For me I would have been quite happy to have NOT. As it happens that has nothing to do with being a girl or not. ^*shrug*

[Melissa]

Death is not an easy option.  The body and brain has a strong will to live.  Many have tried and failed.  (Not like I've looked into it or anything. ) What it comes down to is that transition becomes the only choice that is viable.

Melissa

[Lucy]

Death is not an easy option.  The body and brain has a strong will to live.  Many have tried and failed.  (Not like I've looked into it or anything. ) What it comes down to is that transition becomes the only choice that is viable.

Melissa

Maybe not but so many TS youngpeople still decide that is is the easier option, why. Because of the world we live in, a world without care and consideration for our fellow human kind. If only it was easier and friendly out there, life wouldn't be so hard and people would look after them selves.

[Kimberly]

Death is not an easy option.
...

For me, it is.

...
What it comes down to is that transition becomes the only choice that is viable.

Melissa

This is true, but it does not change that I would both have been happy to NOT do this, and that I do NOT want to do this (and again want to not do this even less). <sup>*shrug*

*shrug*</sup> Oh well.

We manage as best we are able.

^*shrug* Of course, I do wonder if this was not planed from the get-go and what I was doing was a purposeful illusion but, heh, such topics belong in the spirituality forum

[Melissa]

Death is not an easy option.
...

For me, it is.

Then why are you still alive?  It's easy to choose, but difficult to follow.

Melissa

[cindianna_jones]

There are always options.  There's always another path.  I admire someone who picks one based on the best information available to them and begins their journey.  You need to chose to live your life.  I've seen so many who sit on the fence and watch all the others walk on by.

I'm not encouraging anyone to transition.  I would never push anyone down that road.  But, there are always options.  I know that it can seem impossible to give up so much to chase a dream that is seemingly so destructive.  Some of us are driven to do it and I can't explain why.