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Help! Sticky situation

Started by Dax, September 04, 2011, 05:58:38 PM

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Dax


Ever since joining I've been posting more problems than doing anything useful. That being said, here's another.
I go to uni orientation tomorrow. I have a group, etc., etc. I have gone with my male name for registering for it, and intended, for lack of better term to "be a boy" from here on out.
But I just learned an acquaintance/loose friend - who last saw me 2 months ago, while at grad (in a dress, sadly) will be in my group for this orientation. There is a small change she won't recognise me, but if she looks at the rostor she'll know my last name, and as my male name Chris, a shortening of my male name, she'll likely know it's me. Should I just up and say "yeah, no, call me Chris" and just proceed as a he / avoid her as much as I can, or what?? I want to go as a boy to this so I can be seen as one right from the get go...but now I'm not so sure.
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Dax

Unfortunately, I have no way at all of contacting her. She was one of the people I didn't really care if I knew or not after grad, so I'm going to have to go with the very awkward "Uhm...call me Chris" that you had to do. I'm honestly not sure how she'll take it, either. But after that we can just pretend we dunno eachother if need be.

I really want to be he and Chris, so...wish me luck. Tomorrow's the day...almost like a birthday, in my eyes.
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JulieC.

I agree with Logan.  Go as a boy.  The awkward moment will be over in a matter of seconds and you'll have the rest of your life to be Chris.  She will either accept you as Chris or not but that really doesn't matter anyway as long as you are yourself.



"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions" - Dalai Lama
"It always seem impossible until it's done." - Nelson Mandela
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Dax

Well, here are the results of my day, which I will share. Besides it went very unexpectedly.

I got on the bus - and lo and behold, another friend on the bus I didn't account for. Sitting beside her or not - she waved me over - on a crowded bus, I didn't want to go into the whole issue. I knew she wouldn't be seeing me at all / almost never after the bus, so I didn't play as a girl, but didn't outwardly say I was a boy. I see a couple other people I know, but never spoke to really, and they say nothing, I say nothing. (That last bit happened a LOT)

I get there, and it's one, but not two people I know in the group. One says nothing to me and goes on with life at first. The one I asked about comes over and we talk. I'm sporting a nametag and my schedule (which she reads) and the roll call uses Chris and male pronouns, but she still uses my female name/pronouns. But she leaves me alone and ends up ditching the orientation. The guy who says nothing at first stick out the day, but talks to me maybe once. I sill feel I went as a boy, though, because I didn't garner any funny looks felt I passed 80-100% to everyone else, including the orientation leaders - my proof is fraternities tried to recruit me, despite the fact i had no binder and just layered. I'm proud of this, but I dunno how they'd take to a ftm  in one so I kinda ignored them. The second day will be similar to this in context of group.

I also met a childhood friend (I've known her steadily since grade 2) and I was texting her before I ran into her. I said nothing about pronouns off the bat - I think she knew to some extent - but she rightaway said she was fine with it and made a full-blown attempt to call me Chris, and only slipped up twice in doing so; and apologised profusely when she did, correcting herself right away.
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