Well seriously.
Aside from you feeling anwkward with not passing, does it really matters to you and why?
I mean this with things that are really important, such as career or being harassed. I am realising I don't pass 100% and am beginning to gauge people's reactions better now that I am used to going out en femme. I know some folks notice and if you go to a workplace, it is only a matter of time before word spreads, unless if you went through surgical procedures, started HRT on puberty or have been on it for a long ass time. I think nearly all of us went full time before passing always was a reality
Most people I meet don't seen to give a rat's ass about my past if they notice and from the stuff I read here on the forums, Brazil seens to be incredibly transgender friendly. Lack of doctor support aside, things work. I spoke with my superiors about my future and they all agree I wouldn't have any problems even if I didn't pass at all, and since I have many feminine features I should be fine.
So it is like, more a matter of delivering a package that is well put together more than passing 100%. I could have some male stuff on me as long as I don't have a full beard, as a example. Then for the rest, I guess, what is important is BEING confident. Acting confident is not enough. Once those two things are meet, what is the importance of passing all the time? Ins't passing overrated? As long as I can do my job and am not harassed, I don't care about passing, it is pointless.
In a zen buddhist way of thinking, not caring about passing also helps us with passing. Today I was acessing a patient and he was a person with a lot of anxiety, he also had come in with his nephew. It would be ideal if he was alone for this kind of thing since he had a psychiatric problem, but we were in a general practice environment at public health care so the consultation went with her in my office. Anyway, since I'm under the supervision of a male doctor and am not a graduated doctor yet, and since all nouns in portuguese have female and male counterparts, the patient's companion keep saying she wanted to ask the doctor(male) for this and that medication. I had no way to know if she was referring to me or to my superior.
This is a situation I coud have went "oh my god, I was clocked, and at work". But for once I processed a different line of thought. I thought I was a girl, and if she was referring to me she would be saying doctor(female). So I told her "You are in consultation with me, and if you want to discuss exams or medications you have to do so with me". To this, the patient told his nephew "Yes, we are not in consultation with Dr. Random Name, we are with her"
So what I mean is, I don't pass 100% by looks, absolutely not, but it seens to me that dropping this issue just lets me pass a lot more often. I could have so not passed in that situation because of something that person said, but then all of sudden I realised it was just my self-steem issue playing tricks on me.
Girls, what exactly is passing and why is it so important? Why do we care so much about it? Why can't we be proud of being TG and just BE the women we are, even if we are clocked?
