Starting Over

[Jenniebottle]

I am such a mess.

I use to have another profile name on here.  But, honestly, my handle was awful and my email changed and I thought starting over from scratch would just be infinitely better.

Quick (re)introduction - My name is Steven, I am 26 years old.  (While typing this I put 25 and had to go back and change it, I guess I am getting to that age.  My 23 year old brother calls me old.  I guess I don't disagree.)  Some interests include watching tons of TV, reading tons of books, listening to more tons of music and playing a fair amount of video games.  I love writing poetry. 

I don't know if I want to be a girl or a guy.  Everyday I feel one way or the other.  It just never ends.  :-(  What am I to do?

[Amy85]

Welcome back 

[Padma]

I don't know if I want to be a girl or a guy.  Everyday I feel one way or the other.  It just never ends.  :-(  What am I to do?

Hi Steven, welcome back. What are you to do? You don't "have to be" one or the other, you can just be you - and clearly you're someone who is more than just a girl or a boy, so that's why it never ends, because it's just you being you . It really doesn't matter if you feel differently from one day to the next, so long as you can accept the you that you are, each day. Girl? Boy? Something else? Enjoy! xx

[Devlyn]

Hi and welcome back! You already know where we keep the snacks, yeah? Hugs, Tracey

[Felix]

Hey hi. Good luck figuring it out, or getting used to being cool with ambiguity.

[RachaelAnn22]

Welcome back Steven,Hugs,Rachael.

[mimpi]

Welcome back, Steven.

Know the feeling, I too am recycled, happens to the best of us

Edit: Btw don't worry about that 'have to be' business. You are far from alone here in that.

[blake]

Hi Steven, nice to meet you!

Wish I had some sage words of wisdom, but I think the other posters said it better. Occasionally I don't feel male... I've heard the term 'genderfluid' to describe that. I'm still getting my head round that. There's no 'right way' of being, which helps me feel better.

Look forward to seeing you around the forums.

[JessicaH]

Sometimes it helps if you look at things by "layers". If you can peal away negative social perceptions, others expectatiions, social norms, etc, then what is it you really desire? When I have doubts about what path I'm on, it's the price of what I am doing that I'm really worried about and not really what I'm doing. 

Welcome back, Jessica

[Kaylie]

I don't know if I want to be a girl or a guy.  Everyday I feel one way or the other.  It just never ends.  :-(  What am I to do?

I feel the same way, so back and forth all the time! It can be really frustrating, but It really helps for me anyway to be able to talk to other people who are going  through the same thing and read their stories as well. I had just been "stalking" this forum for a long time and just recently decided to start actually contributing and it has helped a lot already  I hope it helps you just the same.

[grrl1nside]

Welcome back!

I have often felt like I was going back and forth but then I found it a lot kinder to myself when I started seeing it as zig-zagging because I never really return to the same place. Maybe I go back a little but ultimately I change in some way, shape or form. I don't often go from just point a to z directly but visit a whole bunch of different places in between and I suppose the journey is better for it even though it is often difficult. I would probably not wish to revisit a few of the stops, but I suppose they are getting me somewhere ultimately anyway. Hopefully, I'll end up where I am supposed to. On the other hand, I suppose I could just end up getting lost without a street map in some strange town on the other side of the continent. Damn, should have turned right somewhere in Toledo or Winnipeg. 

Good luck and hopefully the forums will help you find the right destination for you whatever it ends up being.