I totally get that feeling! I live in Orange County, CA and work in Newport Beach at a pretty upscale center. Honestly probably 80%+ of the people I see could be models. It's hard not to feel envious when you see all of those people just living there life and probably never having to think about such a basic part of themselves feeling so wrong when all you want to do is live your life without all of these gender issues. I've often avoided going out just to keep myself from having to feel that way. All you, or any of us can really do for that matter, is just focus on the task at hand and making progress through your transition. It's not easy, and sometimes there are roadblocks and setbacks, but as long as you're doing something, however minute it may be (ie focusing on your health and skincare, growing your hair, working on your voice, starting hair removal), someday you can be yourself too.
