Death by........

[King Malachite]

One of your co-workers took to a picture of you drunk at the office party and showed it to everyone and you were so embarrased that you quit.  You can't find another job so you live off the land and get eaten by a bear.

Death by 5 chocolate bars

[justmeinoz]

You are mauled to death by a Grizzly Bear looking for the five chocolate bars in your pockets.  It wanted dessert after eating Lord Kat.

Death by Vegemite.

[Catherine Sarah]

In your zest to have a Vegemite sandwich for lunch, you hurried into the kitchen and grabbed the jar of Vegemite, with your slippery hands. As it's snowing down your way today, your reflexes are impaired causing the jar to fall and shatter on the floor. In your attempt to clean up the mess, you stand on a char of glass which causes you to slip on the gooey Vege on the floor. You fall over backwards hitting your head on a cupboard and sustaining a severe brain hemorrhage you bled to death.   RIP Karen

Death by talking

[jasper3]

You talk so much that you get lockjaw and you cannot eat or drink and you go days, ill and starving.

Death by sparkles!

[Catherine Sarah]

While playing round with your sparklers in the car, you are temperorly blinded when a sparkle lands in your eye. You fail to see the railroad crossing, and as you cross it you are hit by a train and killed. So in fact the sparkle didn't kill you, the train did. But still you're dead.

Death by a sneeze

[King Malachite]

You were around so much pepper that you sneezed your lungs out and stopped breathing.

Death by a toy sailboat.

[Catherine Sarah]

While sailing your toy sail boat on a lake, it stopped working (It was an expensive remote control one. You must have won Lotto recently have you?). So you swam out to recover it. As you approached it, it suddenly malfunctioned and started to work. Approaching you at high speed the keel passed over you slitting your throat. The ensuing blood soaked water caught the attention of a dozen sharks who immediately attacked you and ate you all up. The Coroners report stated death by misadventure, from playing with toys; at YOUR age. Shame shame.

Death by Peanut butter and jelly

[King Malachite]

You entered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich competition and won.  However your stomach stretched so much it ripped and you die of a painful death.

Death by a can of unopened beans.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

While examining the can you don't notice the dent.  You go to open the can and it exploded like a grenade.  You die from the can shrapnel.


Death by coffee.

[King Malachite]

You drank 40 cups of coffe and your heart exploded.

Death by a horse shoe.

[Catherine Sarah]

While standing at the coffee machine making  your early morning heart starter, the machine malfunctions and doesn't stop making coffee. In an attempt to top the mess from worsening you lay under the machine with your mouth open. Finally your excessive intake of caffine, over excites your heart, sending you into cardic arrest.       RIP Ms. OBrien. She was a dear soul      

Death by a pencil sharpener

[King Malachite]

You had a broken pencil sharpener and accidently cut yourself on the razor.  You cut got infected and spread to your whole body and you died in your sleep peacefully.

Death by tuna

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

@Malachite Never approach a horse from behind.  They kick.  And the shoe split your skull.

@Catherine While sharpening your pencil,your finger get stuck in the hole removing the tip of your finger.  You bleed to death.

Death by Incubus

[Catherine Sarah]

Regrettably the demon hadn't been practicing safe sex. You were sooooo worried you never slept ever again. Finally you scummed to sleep deprivation. You went peacefully though.

Death by Insolvency

[justmeinoz]

Along with everything else your recently transplanted Liver is repossessed.  Accordingly you kark it.  RIP Catherine. Except her liver which is doing nicely in Gina Reinhart.

Death by llama.

[Catherine Sarah]

god bless Gina Reinhart. May I see some of the family fortune, by courtesy of Kerry O'Brien's 4 Corners.

As the Continental shift proceeded south, a major geographical abberation occurred due to the explosion of tower 4 Fukushima power plant causing Tasmania to make a sharp left hand turn on route to the Antarctic, and head towards south America. After several months Tasmania was washed up on the shores of Peru.

Karen, obviously so excited she wasn't going to the Antarctic, set about celebrating her new found homeland. Realising their landing date coincided with breast cancer week celebrations, she set out looking for something pink, appropriate to wear.

Travelling a short distance inland, Karen discovers the infamous ilama and not knowing the botanical implications of such a sensuous fruit, she, like the original Eve, from the garden of Eden, sank her incisors into this luscious tempting forbidden fruit. It's evil and deadly sap entered Karen's over indulged Maccas metabolism, where upon she succumbed to the lifeless euphoria of the plants venom.  RIP Karen.

There is a silver lining to Karen's death. You'll be pleased to know, it was not in vain. Tasmania enacted a state of war against Peru and South America, and seeing they were severely outclassed, South America succeeded to Tasmanian rule, just before morning tea the day of the invasion. Thank you Karen. You will be immortalised in Aussie folklore for a millennium to come.


Death by varmint     

[King Malachite]

The varmint you were hunting bite you and then his buddies decided to feast on your legs making you bleed to death.


Death by a puppy

[Catherine Sarah]

The puppy you just bought jumped out of your arms as you were crossing the road. In the mayhem that ensued distracted you to the fact a 'B' double truck was bearing down on you. The truck couldn't stop in time and it ran you over. Fortunately the truck had a new type of tyre on it that was soft enough not to cause injury to you, however the puppy wasn't so lucky.

He ran in front of a little old lady on her way to church and she ran over the puppy, killing it outright. There must be a moral to this story, but I can't quite find where i put it. It's not on your desk is it ?

Hummm realities seem to be merging here. We have merging of Death by Corrupt a Wish. Humm when did I put my meds? Not on your desk are they?

Death by lawnmowing

[King Malachite]

I'd rather the puppy live and me nto be the lucky one. 

You decided to cut the yard in the rain and you accidently ran over a broken wire that immediately electrocuted you to death.

Death by a pogo stick

[Catherine Sarah]

Having soooooooo much fun with your newly acquired pogo stick, you decided to bounce your way down the road. You jump so high at one point that you reach the over head wires, become entrapped and electrocuted in front of the returning peak hour traffic.

Death by having a bath