I always believed that inside you know you are it's others who complicate that belief, because prior to coming out I definitely knew I just did everything to second guess myself or deny it because of what society said boys were. But when I did figure out I was trans it hit me kind of like a brick to the face. Boxes make understanding who you are a lot harder than it should be. I went through an 'am I androgynous?' point in my life, and for a few months it made sense, until someone called me a boy on a bus and I smiled so hard it began to hurt and I began to doubt myself more each day until I hit that breaking point probably months later.
It's like when I tried to figure out my sexuality but realized the reason I couldn't pin it down is because sometimes things like our sexual orientation or gender are more complicated than they should be. I say I'm bisexual, but it's much more complex. I am however a guy, despite not being 100% so called 'male' with everything I do. I still baby talk little animals, and I liked barbies as a kid, but that means nothing in our world where actions cannot really be divided into boy and girl. In fact I don't even know why I feel like a guy or why I like the title, I can't change that and be androgynous even if I wanted to because there is something so appealing about being called he, and being referred to as just one of the guys.
Give it time... lol I actually hated when people told me that time will tell, but honestly it does. I get the impatience, sadly this is just one of those things that happens when learning who you really are, there's no fast forward button to know your future so you can understand today.
