I've been wracking my brain against this whole transgender/who am I thing. When I realized when (as a girl) I shave, I hate the feeling of the smooth skin afterwards. I guess that is normal and proof that I am transgender? I get the slightest feeling of joy when I pretend that my body hair can stay there forever because that is who I am, a guy. So when I shave it it just doesn't feel right. I have lots of fantasies of having other male characteristics (especially a deep voice and no chest). Yet something's holding me back from going to see a therapist. I'm not sure what. Well for one thing I'm terrified of hormones/T. At the same time I want it more than anything. Is this all proof I am transgender and normal transgender feelings. I just don't know though. There's the odd day when I feel female but then there's that voice in the back of my head saying "NO! DON'T FALL BACK INTO THAT! YOU'RE A GUY!!" And it's just so.. aaaaargh!!

I don't really see it as being related. You can like shaving/having smooth legs or not.

I'd say it's more personal preference.  I never shaved my legs prior to T (I will admit: shaving seemed too 'girly' at the time), but later took to shaving after I started growing more body hair.  Sometimes I like being furry, but other times it just gets long and I feel like a shave.  Just whatever, doesn't matter.

Of course, if you relate having hairy legs to being manly and it makes you feel better, go for the fur and don't shave.  If you don't like body hair, then shave and don't feel like less of a man for it.  There are plenty of men who shave.

Shaving leg hair has nothing to do with gender. It is just personal preference and expectations of society. I think it got popular in the 20s. A lot of countries don't bother with it. Enjoying things you consider masculine does not mean you are or have to be trans.

I personally don't shave my legs. I don't have a problem with body hair. I find it irritating and I hate shaving. I like the feeling of shaved legs, just not on myself.

Well, my boyfriend hates his body hair and sometimes shaves it. Is that "proof" he's a woman? No. He identifies as male. He just feels more comfortable with smooth skin.

I consider myself transgendered, but I go back and forth on the shaving thing. I don't really like being hairy, but shaving everything is a lot of work. So  I usually abvod it out of laziness rather than gender stereotyping.

I don't personally think there's any such thing as "proof" someone is transgender. It's just something you have to figure out and identify with. Boxes are no fun at all.

I never liked shaving my legs. So I don't. Mostly because the idea of sharp objects being dragged across my skin to hack of hair that isn't bothering anyone seems a little bit ridiculous to me.

Quote from: Logan Bann on October 11, 2011, 04:14:55 PM
Don't put yourself in a box.  You are what you are, and thain't no reason to hunt around for proof.  There is no sign, test, proof anywhere that can definitively tell the difference between male, female, androgyne, what have you, except your say so.  Trying to match a label is stressful.  And counter-productive since what you're trying to do is find your own self.

What you seem to need is help sorting this stuff out, and that's what therapy... is.  Not just a gateway to T.

Box... now what an appropriate way to put it. I guess I just have the feeling that I need to know who I am. Soon. Or, I'll go crazy.

I always believed that inside you know you are it's others who complicate that belief, because prior to coming out I definitely knew I just did everything to second guess myself or deny it because of what society said boys were. But when I did figure out I was trans it hit me kind of like a brick to the face. Boxes make understanding who you are a lot harder than it should be. I went through an 'am I androgynous?' point in my life, and for a few months it made sense, until someone called me a boy on a bus and I smiled so hard it began to hurt and I began to doubt myself more each day until I hit that breaking point probably months later.

It's like when I tried to figure out my sexuality but realized the reason I couldn't pin it down is because sometimes things like our sexual orientation or gender are more complicated than they should be. I say I'm bisexual, but it's much more complex. I am however a guy, despite not being 100% so called 'male' with everything I do. I still baby talk little animals, and I liked barbies as a kid, but that means nothing in our world where actions cannot really be divided into boy and girl. In fact I don't even know why I feel like a guy or why I like the title, I can't change that and be androgynous even if I wanted to because there is something so appealing about being called he, and being referred to as just one of the guys.

Give it time... lol I actually hated when people told me that time will tell, but honestly it does. I get the impatience, sadly this is just one of those things that happens when learning who you really are, there's no fast forward button to know your future so you can understand today.

Quote from: JayValentine on October 11, 2011, 09:49:14 PM
I always believed that inside you know you are it's others who complicate that belief, because prior to coming out I definitely knew I just did everything to second guess myself or deny it because of what society said boys were. But when I did figure out I was trans it hit me kind of like a brick to the face. Boxes make understanding who you are a lot harder than it should be. I went through an 'am I androgynous?' point in my life, and for a few months it made sense, until someone called me a boy on a bus and I smiled so hard it began to hurt and I began to doubt myself more each day until I hit that breaking point probably months later.

It's like when I tried to figure out my sexuality but realized the reason I couldn't pin it down is because sometimes things like our sexual orientation or gender are more complicated than they should be. I say I'm bisexual, but it's much more complex. I am however a guy, despite not being 100% so called 'male' with everything I do. I still baby talk little animals, and I liked barbies as a kid, but that means nothing in our world where actions cannot really be divided into boy and girl. In fact I don't even know why I feel like a guy or why I like the title, I can't change that and be androgynous even if I wanted to because there is something so appealing about being called he, and being referred to as just one of the guys.

Give it time... lol I actually hated when people told me that time will tell, but honestly it does. I get the impatience, sadly this is just one of those things that happens when learning who you really are, there's no fast forward button to know your future so you can understand today.

Thanks Jay. I worry though. Like, what if I never find out who I am. What if time never tells, and stuff like that. And you are definitely right about others complicating things.

Just to add a quick two cents. I was actually thinking about this in the shower today, and thought about if I should ask a similar question. Thanks for beating me to the punch, dude. xD But anyway, it's a personal preference. I realized that if I was a girl, I'd shave my legs. I'm a boy, and I still hate body hair. You're thinking of the double standard that people have put on...well...everything. This one just happens to say "Girls shave their legs because they like smooth skin. Boys like rough, rugged looking bodies so they don't shave."

Ew. xDDD

Just be who you are, whoever it is. If you're not sure, just sit down and think about it for a long time. You might not even find out for years, but what's important is you're not trying to conform to stereotypes and other BS carboard cutouts that people put out for everyone. :]]

Quote from: R.A.A on October 12, 2011, 12:44:28 AM
Just to add a quick two cents. I was actually thinking about this in the shower today, and thought about if I should ask a similar question. Thanks for beating me to the punch, dude. xD But anyway, it's a personal preference. I realized that if I was a girl, I'd shave my legs. I'm a boy, and I still hate body hair. You're thinking of the double standard that people have put on...well...everything. This one just happens to say "Girls shave their legs because they like smooth skin. Boys like rough, rugged looking bodies so they don't shave."

Ew. xDDD

Just be who you are, whoever it is. If you're not sure, just sit down and think about it for a long time. You might not even find out for years, but what's important is you're not trying to conform to stereotypes and other BS carboard cutouts that people put out for everyone. :]]

Your welcome for beating you to it XD nah jk. Hmm well if I sit down and think about it that just causes more confusion. So, I guess it's best to wait and see after all. I wish it would hurry up though.

Pondering is good and part of the process. But who you are is up to you to figure out. If you get your answers from other people, are they really your answers?

Meanwhile, the only reason I ever shaved anything (pre transition) was to avoid unwanted attention.
That probably only means something to me, but is clear enough.

Quote from: bojangles on October 13, 2011, 10:15:55 AM
Pondering is good and part of the process. But who you are is up to you to figure out. If you get your answers from other people, are they really your answers?

\
This too

Quote from: bojangles on October 13, 2011, 10:15:55 AM
Pondering is good and part of the process. But who you are is up to you to figure out. If you get your answers from other people, are they really your answers?

Seconded.