Non-Binary Introductions

[B. Battles]

Hello,

Introductions are never easy and I'm not sure who is going to read this, but here I go...

I've always identified as an androgyne and aimed to present myself in an androgynous way. It wasn't until this year though that I gained the confidence to own my gender identity and stop hiding behind people who I perceived as being 'more androgynous and therefore a better 'me' than me'. My main goal for coming here is to meet people like myself and maybe get some clarity in areas where I still feel insecure.

Thanks for reading.

[Shantel]

Welcome Battles!
              You've come to the right place, there's a lot of comments for you to read and catch up on, hope to see some of your own comments in the various threads when you feel ready!

[Jamie D]

Hello,

Introductions are never easy and I'm not sure who is going to read this, but here I go...

I've always identified as an androgyne and aimed to present myself in an androgynous way. It wasn't until this year though that I gained the confidence to own my gender identity and stop hiding behind people who I perceived as being 'more androgynous and therefore a better 'me' than me'. My main goal for coming here is to meet people like myself and maybe get some clarity in areas where I still feel insecure.

Thanks for reading.

Yeah, let's dump that "better than" stuff.  Unless you have an identical twin, you are as unique a child of the universe as the rest of us.

The Androgyne Talk board really serves the entire non-binary community here; though you are welcome to post anywhere.

[Roberta W]

Hi ... I'm Roberto.  I never heard of Androgyn until I discovered it here in Susan's Place ... The definitions fit me so well!  Yep, that's me!  I had SRS 28 years ago ... BA also, and have been living in this mode now for almost 3 decades.  I have a lot of experience in this lane of life, so If I can help anyone out, I'm more than happy to do so.

[Shantel]

Hello Roberto,
       Welcome to the family, the youngsters here can always pick up on a few new things from us seniors.

[MiaOhMya!]

Hi Roberto! What an interesting story, jeez the people on here are just amazing. I love that we are who we are far before we learn about the right word or definition to describe our state.

Hope to see you around often because I bet you have some great experience and I want to lurk about reading your posts like I love to do!

[Space Pirate]

So here I am.  I've lurked for a couple of weeks and I think this is the place for me.

I am...what am I?  Biologically male (with a beard, no less)...outside of that...not sure.  Very angry at my parents.  Does not compute.  I don't think I really have a gender.  Can't really tell the difference between genders.  Can't really relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  Feel enormously guilty and ashamed that I don't have a gender, can't tell the difference between genders, and can't relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  I've tried to live as a cisgender man for almost 30 years with a female partner and a cat in a house in the suburbs and utterly failed at it.  The female partner and cat and house in the suburbs remain, but the cisgender male thing does not.  Not really sure what my next move is here.  Work is surprisingly okay with things like nail polish and bending the dress code to accommodate my...whatever it is.

This came off a bit snarkier than I meant it.  So perhaps this is my first step towards relieving that anger, guilt, and shame.

Heeeere I go.

[MiaOhMya!]

Hi Space Pirate!  Glad you have the will to explore yourself!

Perhaps you will find a happy medium in androgyny. Also have you read much about asexuality?

Put down the guilt because you did try to be different and that didn't work so what's to be ashamed of? Just be you, find your place. 

[Shantel]

Yeah, we even welcome Space Pirates here! Hope you find some answers, there are a lot of posts by folks that I'm sure you can relate to...Shan

[CopperCumin]

Hi. I'm coppercumin, but you can call me Keki.

I'm gender fluid, and that pisses me off. I spent the last year or so identifying as ftm, and I'm finally realizing that might not be right. I'm hoping the reason for my fluidity was because I was shoving myself into binary boxes. Maybe.

In terms of my gender expression, I know who I am. I'm androgynous. I'm still figuring out whether I'm a tomboyish woman, an androgynous man, or an androgyne.

I'd appreciate help on how to be publicly non-binary, since that's where I got in trouble last time. I'm still deciding how I'm going to navigate public gender in my school, since last year I was so closed in about my gender that I ended up screwing my grades because I didn't talk to anyone. That, and in an effort tovpass i kept sliding into being way more masculine than felt comfortable. Stealth was a bad idea.

[Jamie D]

I posted in your regular intro, but I will add some stuff here.

I view gender as a spectrum, from 100% female to 100% male, and everything in between.  I think I feel a little more feminine than masculine, like 55-45, even though I was socialized male.

One of the things I have trouble working through mentally, is how much of what I feel is part of social "gender expectations," and how much is my innate gender (to heck with gender expectations!).  There are times when my reactions to some situations fit the masculine profile; other times I could easily pass for a caring, nurturing earth mother.

The thing is, even in my confusion and uncertainty, I have learned to like who I am!  I could not have said that a decade ago.

So does it matter if you are tomboyish? genderqueer? dykish? androgynous?

Nope!  As long as you find satisfaction in being the unique YOU!

[Jamie D]

So here I am.  I've lurked for a couple of weeks and I think this is the place for me.

I am...what am I?  Biologically male (with a beard, no less)...outside of that...not sure.  Very angry at my parents.  Does not compute.  I don't think I really have a gender.  Can't really tell the difference between genders.  Can't really relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  Feel enormously guilty and ashamed that I don't have a gender, can't tell the difference between genders, and can't relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  I've tried to live as a cisgender man for almost 30 years with a female partner and a cat in a house in the suburbs and utterly failed at it.  The female partner and cat and house in the suburbs remain, but the cisgender male thing does not.  Not really sure what my next move is here.  Work is surprisingly okay with things like nail polish and bending the dress code to accommodate my...whatever it is.

This came off a bit snarkier than I meant it.  So perhaps this is my first step towards relieving that anger, guilt, and shame.

Heeeere I go.

Gender is a very interesting topic.  I happen to think gender, or the lack of it, is innate.  And I don't really subscriber to the "binary."  It might work out for most of the world, but for many of us it is inadequate.

I had problems conceptualizing neutrois.  But then it occurred to me that I was largely genderless until I was like 10-12 years old, when I began to recognize my own genders.

I lived a largely male life, on the exterior, for four decades.  Married 30 years (still am).  But I am allowing myself to explore what the outside world cannot see, but that I can feel.

Edit: I just made a Neutrois dedicated topic in this forum.  Maybe we can learn more about it.

[Mickie]

Hey people!

I figured i may introduce myself here. I'm more or less in the "questioning" category, but after doing research recently and in the process of finding everything out i believe I may more so find my self to fit into the androgyne spectrum here somewhere. Nice to meet everyone!

[Jamie D]

There's nothing wrong with looking at the entire gender spectrum to see where we fit.

[Shantel]

Hey people!

I figured i may introduce myself here. I'm more or less in the "questioning" category, but after doing research recently and in the process of finding everything out i believe I may more so find my self to fit into the androgyne spectrum here somewhere. Nice to meet everyone!

Good plan Mickie and welcome to this particular forum! Twenty years ago I was hell bent on transitioning MtF all the way but over time a lot of different factors and changing attitudes have tempered that drive and I find myself more comfortably ensconced in an androgynous presentation and lifestyle. Just another take on never say never!

[little mx]

Greetings, all! I identify as agender and more broadly as non-binary.

I'm 22 years old, I have two cats and a dog, I like sci-fi, painting, history, animals, and puns.

For awhile, I presented very butch. I think because that was the blueprint available to me for what my gender anxiety meant. "You don't like doing these things and hate those things about your body? You're a butch!" Gradually I realized I was exhausted by the pretense of masculinity. The process of landing on a trans identity was also gradual. It's hard to think of yourself as trans when you can't transition because there's nothing for you to transition to--my ideal body would be one unaffected by puberty. I've shifted to wearing boy's clothes that on boys would be considered kind of androgynous but aren't really on me and stopped trying to act "masculine". I miss confusing people for a second/having kids ask if I'm a boy or a girl, because that was sort of the only way I could be recognized as something different, but it's worth it to not have to try to be masculine all the time anymore. I want to get top surgery (I bind almost all of the time and have since long before I realized I was agender) but I'm worried about the possibility of finding a surgeon who will do that/insurance that will cover it if I have no intention of transitioning to male full-time. I also think I may want to go on T for a little bit to make my face more androgynous and lower my voice a little, but I'm worried about acquiring even more sex characteristics than I already have.

[Jamie D]

Hi there, little mx!  Pleased to meet you 

Ahhh, puns.  You are going to fit right in 

We have several FAAB folks who post here, as well as in the FtM section.  That's what's sort of cool about those of us who identify as non-binary.  W can just flit here or there, like the butterflies we are.

[ativan]

Hey little mx, sounds like you will fit right in here.
Look around, check out some of the old topics, there's pages of them.
Lots of information in them, lots of goofing around.
There's also the wiki here for info.
Have fun, and welcome to the forest.
Ativan

[Shantel]

Hey Little mx, welcome!

[Sparks]

Hello here- this is only my second post here since my actual main introduction a little while ago.

Many people here (in oh-so-conservative Montana) simply assume that I am a *mildly* effeminate athletic male who is known for being into classic rock/metal, cars, and typical guy things. I have, in fact, harbored deep-rooted gender confusion issues for quite some time. I have many feminine qualities and when I embrace them I feel more and more natural as time goes on and I allow myself to explore them. For these reasons I am unsure of how to classify myself.. I am hoping to make a few friends here and to understand more about how I feel inside and what course I should take on this journey.