talking to girls is scary

[ZaidaZadkiel]

interesting experience im getting.

Since I'm in transition and hormones and all the fun stuff, I have grown to be like scared of GGirls.

It started with the bathroom issue, like, should i go to the ladies or the mens ? which one is less likely to get me in trouble?

And then it went further, like, what do girls talk about amongst themselves ? I had always been excluded by them when it was "girl talk time" so I honeslty dont know. I mean, i can imagine it's nothing particularly interesting, but I am a weird person. I would much rather about the secret plots to dominate humankind than about how silly did so-and-so look and whether a blemish in their face is considered mortal sin.

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Anyway, I seem to have lost my thought.

Basically, does anybody feel that talking to their transitioning gender is difficult?
I suspect it's because I'm an androgyne and not because I'm just totally clueless about these matters.

[shelly]

Always got on better with woman than men, cant be doing with none of the really sickily girly chat like hair or the fact that Pandora couldnt come out last night as she had a whitehead on her nose, but at the same time cant be doing with none of the macho rubbish, like how many affairs i have had since i have been married or how fast my car goes.

Think my wife is the only woman i could really talk about girl subjects as i feel that any other woman would just take the impression of "well your not a REAL female, so what do you know.

[ativan]

I've never met a woman that I can't at the least get a smile from. And I never reveal any secrets told. Most of what they jabber about isn't interesting anways.

Off to the fitness center. Running woman., I hope the serious one, the muscle builder is there. Competition.

[Eva Marie]

cant be doing with none of the really sickily girly chat like hair or the fact that Pandora couldnt come out last night as she had a whitehead on her nose, but at the same time cant be doing with none of the macho rubbish, like how many affairs i have had since i have been married or how fast my car goes.

Pretty much the same here.

I think that our difficulty comes from us being excluded from the girls club all of our lives. Women automatically pigeon hole us as aggressors and as being members of a privileged class, and they fiercely protect their own from that. We are expected to be crude creatures with nothing relevant to say; the butt of female jokes. There is no understanding of gender variant people like us - so we forever find ourselves standing on the outside looking in.

[tekla]

I think what happens if you are excluded from groups (for whatever reason) or have a problem that makes it difficult to understand verbal conversation is this - and I see it going both ways - you 'hear' the words, and follow the general idea, but you miss that what they are talking about is not at all what they are talking about.  Yes women talk about 'fashion' and stuff, and guys talk about sports - but if you think that is what they are really talking about you are missing the point.

[mimpi]

Spent the first seven years of my life exclusively around women and am only comfortable around them. Never know what to say to men and have only ever had one male friend who's my oldest friend but even there spend most of the time chatting with his wife.

[Simone Louise]

I am one who, for as long as I can remember, has been more comfortable talking with girls and women. And, sometimes, being a guy gets in the way. That said, I gravitate to a particular type of women: strong, serious, intelligent, and caring. As a kid, gender rarely intruded. Growing towards puberty, I found myself excluded from guy circles for my lack of sports ability (other than hiking and bicycling--do they qualify?) and my lack of interest in talking about girls from the guy's point of view. I took up knitting in college; guys ignored it, but girls gave me odd stares. As an adult, at dinner parties, I have always found myself the only male in the kitchen, because I have an interest in food and children, but find sports and business boring. I joined the League of Women Voters when mens could only be auxiliaries, and, when that rule was changed, was written up in the newspaper as the first male to be a full member in our city. Innumerable times, at committee meetings and the like, I've been so engrossed in the conversation that I forget my body, only to have one of the others ask: "Don't you feel uncomfortable being the only guy here?" No! One nice aspect of being married is that my wife is an entry ticket into the world of women. For instance, about a week ago a bunch of people came over to celebrate one of the Jewish holy days. Everyone left except for two women. We sat around talking and playing Boggle (I think too slowly to be good at that game). It was wonderful. Finally at 11:30, I had to excuse myself because I needed to be at work at 3:30 am, and wanted to get a little sleep. And I enjoy work because I work with a team of women (UPS, sorting smaller packages). Our boss is a lesbian who tends to send me home before some of the others; nevertheless, it is a pretty tight team, and I love it.

If I were to be completely honest, though, there are some men whose company I have enjoyed from time to time, and some women I tend to avoid.

S

[Kinkly]

I've always felt more comfortable around females then Males but the really girly girls I couldn't cope with (I'm not sure if that had much to do with me feeling more girly then most of my female friends growing up or that the few male friends I did have didn't fit as "Normal" either although I doubt anyone else I knew as a child/ teen has gender issues although I do know that a number of my female friends that I was attracted to a teen & early twenties turned out to be Lesbians or bi but they were never attracted to me.
My bigest issue with girls growing up I think was that girls thought I wanted something sexual (like most guys) when I only wanted to be their good friend.  I've had a few strong friendships with girls but I've never been seen as "one of the girls".  since I've been doing stuff with the local gender diverse community people who don't really know me  assume I Identify as female.
I'd love to understand binary people better. very femme girls do make me feel uneasy and Manly men can make me fell worried and unsure.  I've always known I was not part of either of these groups,  and both groups felt scary in different ways

[Simone Louise]

Amen, dear sibling.

S