Nervous about SRS!!

[AbraCadabra]

PM is off line... and Jamie now sporting Gender: male... really?

Hey, anything I have missed that last few hours?

Axelle
PS: sorry to side-step the subject but PM is not working at present

[Deila]

Firstly, I'm putting this thread here to get as many responses as possible from post-srs girls. If this is a problem, mods, please let me know!

So, I have my surgery scheduled for the end of November (it's currently the end of October) with Suporn. I scheduled it months ago and now, a month from surgery, I'm suddenly/finally getting nervous! First I started freaking out about dilation (will I keep up with it, etc) and then, while googling about it I came across the "Suporn's Failure" thread, which freaked me out even more.

I've heard from lots of folks that they suffered after surgery due to expectations- they expected life to change, relationships to improve, sex to be fulfilling et cetera. Well, I'm not too worried about that - I love my life the way it is. I love my job, I really love being single (and have for years), I'm not that interested in sex. So, I'm also not too concerned about depth (lesbian and not very sexual) or even about ability to orgasm (I currently get aroused once every few weeks, and even then I could take it or leave it - though I really would prefer to be sensate!)

My real concern has always been whether SRS will effect my daily life. Problems like incontinence, pains etc would really be bad for me. Reading in "Suporn's Failure" about the labia majora rubbing against the leg when walking really freaked me out. Chronic pain really scares me. Basically, I don't need the ability to have mind blowing penetrative sex - I need the ability to live a normal life with female genitalia.

And now I'm all scared. I know it's probably pre-surgical jitters, but I even looked at what the procedure is to cancel surgery. I definitely want SRS - I've known I'll need it since I was a little kid. I've planned it since transition eight years ago (health and life got in the way until now) and now I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I know I'll never feel whole/at peace in my body until I have the correct genitalia. I can't think of any other surgeon who would magically make these fears disappear. I know the vast majority of Suporn's patients are quite happy, and my lower bar for success probably makes it even more likely that I'll be pleased with the results. I know that I'll probably be okay about dilating properly, and even if I screw up a little the fact that depth is relatively unimportant to me makes that less critical (though still important!)

I guess I need reassurance so I don't spend the next month freaking the f**k out. I really am a level-headed woman - but this is MAJOR!


So... can anyone help me down? Please?

BTW, if its relevant to anyone, I'm 28 years old.

Signed,
Israchick

Hi! Well I see your post and I went to Dr Suporn myself, I had my freakout moment after my surgery I was scared of dilating and all that, After reading the  forums while I was over there after my surgery I wished I had`nt I was so afraid of the 2- 3 month and all that. Well I am past month 3 and my dilations have been great, I dont feel any vaginal pain for the most part, I have all the pain killers I was given to use while in thailand and sent home with. I am actually able to start with the largest dilator that was given to me. ( I was able to fit that in first 2 weeks after getting home ) Before that I was dilating with the standard dilator for 10 mins and then 5 mins with the largest. My depth was 7` when I was checked in the hospital. After I emptied my bowels and all that my first dilation in the hotel was 7 and a quarter which I have maintained. I dilate with the largest to just about 7 and then I use the standard one to get my full depth. I met so many women who had been there for there srs who were so beyond happy with there results and they were back for face work ect.. I asked them all about dilating and they all said it was so easy for them now and they were all very happy with there results and depth and everything. The journey is different for all of us. You just need to mentally prepare yourself. Dont just read horror stories, read hopeful stories. I knew suporn was the dr for me since I was 15 years old, when you know, you know! My vagina at 4 months post op looks just SLIGHTLY more puffy version of my mothers, So my results are great I already have sensation. The key with dilation is, YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO RELAX. What works for me is watching a nice positive happy tv show or I go on netflix and watch stuff. Dilation is not at all uncomfortable for me unless im having a mental breakdown. Also make sure you have a support system in place. I get anxiety and panic attacks from time to time of where I just freak out even though everything is great.  Also consider a supplemental enzyme like serrapeptase which speeds healing after surgery and actually disolves scar tissue and helps get rid of pain. I read about it while I was over there and started taking it right when I got back home. Also bring your own colon cleanse or herbal laxative tea, probiotics or digestive enzymes or something to help your digestive system cleanse after you get out of the hospital. The laxatives they give were too hard on my system. And make sure you eat a healthy diet, If you skip on eatting thinking itll make dialtion easier you`ll just have to fix the digestive issues once you get back home on your own.  and just go into it knowing this is what you want and EVERYTHING is going to be OKAY!

[Deila]

I had my surgery a week after my 23rd bday btw incase that helps. Also Another tip, Rest LOTS when you are there. Dont do alot of walking lay flat in your bed and you will heal sooo much faster.

[israchick]

You're all so sweet! Thank you!
My real concern hasn't been pain in the month or two following surgery - it's long term stuff. Chronic pain. That really does worry me.

But I think I'm okay now.

Keep the stories coming!

[FairyGirl]

You see, now you know two of them who are totally satisfied.
I think there are more, I invite them to post.
It will give Israchick some encouragement and make her less nervous for the SRS.

Annette I posted before you that I was totally satisfied as well.  Wait a minute, let me check.... yep. Still totally satisfied.    (that's at least 3 of us)

Was just walking in town, a beautiful warm Spring day, wearing my wrap skirt and a singlet top, my little b-cup boobies thrust proudly forward and the indescribably wonderful feeling of my vagina between my legs.  Oh yeah, I can't imagine ever being unsatisfied with that.

[Catherine Sarah]

Was just walking in town, a beautiful warm Spring day, wearing my wrap skirt and a singlet top, my little b-cup boobies thrust proudly forward and the indescribably wonderful feeling of my vagina between my legs.  Oh yeah, I can't imagine ever being unsatisfied with that.

Hey FairyGirl ease up ......... ease up girl. You're creating some serious queue jumping here 

You'll have me googling DIY GRS 101. I've got time this afternoon. 

I'm just back from Avoca beach and that breeze is up here and I  -   D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E-L-Y  -   want my bikini THIS year

Keep that fun going.  -  You're amazing

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[Deila]

You're all so sweet! Thank you!
My real concern hasn't been pain in the month or two following surgery - it's long term stuff. Chronic pain. That really does worry me.

But I think I'm okay now.

Keep the stories coming!

honestly for me every week is insane how much better and better I feel, but what you want to make sure of is you dont create the idea that the pain is forever so that even when its gone you still feel it - like a mind trick. You have to go into it just KNOWING your going to be okay and everything will be fine. Because it will. Deep down you know if this is the right thing for you. You will have your own unique experience and you should enjoy every second of it. The beauty of finally being complete, and your vagina is YOURS So dont get an idea of exactly how you want it to look because you will get the perfect vagina for YOU and its going to be so special. Just go into it as positive as possible and you`ll be just fine  

[aphrodite]

i'm a little nervous also......scared of the anesthesia and not waking up

[sweetie87]

Annette I posted before you that I was totally satisfied as well.  Wait a minute, let me check.... yep. Still totally satisfied.    (that's at least 3 of us)

Was just walking in town, a beautiful warm Spring day, wearing my wrap skirt and a singlet top, my little b-cup boobies thrust proudly forward and the indescribably wonderful feeling of my vagina between my legs.  Oh yeah, I can't imagine ever being unsatisfied with that.

+1

I'm totally satisfied as well so that's 4 of us and I love the way you just described walking in town. Just the feeling that it is all yours and no one can ever take it away is just great, finally being a girl and complete gives an awesome feeling of freedom. In my country it is autumn and cold now but your post makes me want to wear a singlet top and skirt anyway and feel great about it YAY 

[AbraCadabra]

Girls, I love your poesy :-) now that aught to  take care of some of all theses pre-op nerves?

What more can one say,
Axelle

[missF]

I am little bit over 2 months post op and I'm living every minute. No worries about tucking, no worries about wearing a more tight skirt, no worries when in the female rest room, body and mind and soul all walking together, side by side.

I will be lying if I say I was painless. I had pain, and I still have some waves of pain along the day, that comes very suddenly. But nothing that will disturb me very much. And even those 10 days I stayed at the hospital, the 1st week of yuck liquid food, I would repeat all over again. I was a bit anxious, yes, but most of all I was so excited that the diazepam they gave 1 hour prior the surgery had no effect at all. I entered the surgical room super alert (well, actually this is more because I was curious to see how it is a surgical room in a big hospital and because I had some professional curiosity and questions to ask the anesthesia team). 

[JenJen2011]

I am little bit over 2 months post op and I'm living every minute. No worries about tucking, no worries about wearing a more tight skirt, no worries when in the female rest room, body and mind and soul all walking together, side by side.

I can't wait for this.

[annette]

Sorry Fairysweetie

Was never good in counting and math's.
But you're right, and I think more will follow.
The poor girl who is going under the knife will know that things will be okay with her on the long term.
Coz, that's what she needs to know, the op is nothing compare to the amazing live that's waiting for her.
After all, we are here for support, don't we?

XX
Annette

[spacial]

i'm a little nervous also......scared of the anesthesia and not waking up

That is the greatest fear for everyone having any op, be it dentistry or anything else.

The only thing to say is billions of people have had anesthetic and recovered completely. 

[annette]

Don't be affraid for the anasthesia Aphrodite, you will be guarded every minute during the op and after it.
We do have excellent machines and highly educated employees for that.

It's quite simple, you go to sleep praying that you will be a woman when you wake up and the amazing thing is........sometimes wishes do come true.

hope this will help.

Annette

[blackMamba]

You're all so sweet! Thank you!
My real concern hasn't been pain in the month or two following surgery - it's long term stuff. Chronic pain. That really does worry me.

But I think I'm okay now.

Keep the stories coming!

No long-term pain here.  And even in the short-term, it was more discomfort than pain really.  It was hard to sit without shifting in my chair for a few months.  No incontinence either, and I'm sensate including orgasm (which took a while, but I'll save that for another thread).  The Suporn's failure thread concerns me as well and I feel for the girl that had to go through that.  I never saw the pictures, but a lot of that sounds fixable.  Certainly it's better to leave too much tissue than to take away.  Even if she can't get Suporn to do a revision, she should be able to find a surgeon that will.  Meltzer does a lot of revisions, so do others (I'm partial to Brassard for obvious reasons).  So, there's always that possibility, but it seems most gals just do the one-pass and either don't need or don't bother with the touch-up. 

It's OK to freak out, you are permanently changing your body.  I freaked out too the closer the date got, that's normal.  But at the end of the day, no regrets, I love it.  Good luck to you, enjoy the journey and your new body parts!!

[Aelita]

Hi Israchick,
It is pretty normal to be anxious. I remember been quiet pessimistic too about the all thing at your stage.
I somehow, managed to pass over it saying to me among other things: (can sound stupid but in fact...)
That´s what you been looking for since early years; it´s time to positivate now that you´re so close to the end of the tunnel!
Note that beeing confident plays for the recovery too! Due to the fact that surgery makes changes physicaly but mentaly too, so if you´re feeling relaxed it´s all for the best (:
Doctor Suporn is one of the best surgeon you can find for this type of surgery; you´re in good hand, so congratulate yourself to have choosen him!
One thing I did before surgery, visiting Bangkok; went to one of the many temples and had a monk bless me; that definitly helps (:
All the best!
Ps : i remember saying "rák" to the anaesthesiologist just before closing my eyes (means love) hihi...
Pps : sorry for my "frenchy english"

[sweetie87]

I felt the same and worried about not being able to do a lot of things i normally do... But i recovered so quick when back home and at just 6 weeks post op i had a saturday night out and danced as if i never had surgery :p the only hard thing was fitting a dilation schedule around other activities and events.

[leflauren678]

It does have a certain appeal, even for a non-op like me.

-Lef

I can't wait for this.

[FairyGirl]

Regarding satisfaction/dissatisfaction with genital surgery, this is from The World Professional Association for Transgender Health Standards of Care, V.7 Appendix D, page 107 (emphasis mine):

Since the Standards of Care have been in place, there has been a steady increase in patient satisfaction and decrease in dissatisfaction with the outcome of sex reassignment surgery. Studies conducted after 1996 focused on patients who were treated according to the Standards of Care. The findings of Rehman and colleagues (1999) and Krege and colleagues (2001) are typical of this body of work; none of the patients in these studies regretted having had surgery, and most reported being satisfied with the cosmetic and functional results of the surgery. Even patients who develop severe surgical complications seldom regret having undergone surgery. Quality of surgical results is one of the best predictors of the overall outcome of sex reassignment (Lawrence, 2003). The vast majority of follow-up studies have shown an undeniable beneficial effect of sex reassignment surgery on postoperative outcomes such as subjective well being, cosmesis, and sexual function (De Cuypere et al., 2005; Garaffa, Christopher, & Ralph, 2010; Klein & Gorzalka, 2009), although the specific magnitude of benefit is uncertain from the currently available evidence. One study (Emory, Cole, Avery, Meyer, & Meyer III, 2003) even showed improvement in patient income.