I hate being asked if I am a top!

[MsDazzler]

Ughh.... most of the men I have met online invariably ask me if I am a top or would consider topping them as it has been their "curiosity" to be penetrated anally or "fantasy" that they have always wanted to try...

I retort tartly that I am a lady and would do no such thing, and furthermore that I am a woman in all ways including in the sack - I have always preferred the bottom role even in my gay relationships previously.

They slyly suggest that even some women wear strap-on dildos and top - but they want the sensation of a "real cock" in their asses.

Hmph! 

[tunak]

its because they love the penis and they try to justify their gayness by looking for a ts rather than a guy... lol i think.

[toxicblue]

It's something like what Trista said... either way I'd just avoid those kinds of people altogether (->-bleeped-<-s). They seem to bring nothing but trouble.

[Rabbit]

Ehh I get it 50/50 of guys wanting a top trans.

I'm not sure avoiding "->-bleeped-<-s" is the best idea though... i love that they love that I'm trans?

It's like trying to avoid guys who like black girls ...if you were a black girl... o.O

[toxicblue]

I see what you're saying. I mean, it seems nice finding guys that would want to date us, but I really prefer not to be the object of some kind of fetish.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Mmm, Idk, I'm just worried they'd leave me after surgery.

And I don't think they're mostly gay because I used to fetishize ftm's.

[Rabbit]

I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

[toxicblue]

I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

Thanks for the different perspective, I never really thought of it that way.

[Michelle.]

You might want to find a guy who is bisexual. They tend to be more open to the idea of trans girls. As in a relationship. Also they often have less problems with the pre op genital arrangement.

I couldn't handle a guy wanting me to top him.

[Flan]

"heteroflexable" comes to mind with a lot of ->-bleeped-<-s in the sense of they justify it by thinking as long as they on the receiving end of the sexual activity it's somehow not the same as a same (biological) sex act

[Rabbit]

Hehe I think it depends on what type of ->-bleeped-<- it is It seems like there are different "levels".

Newbie ->-bleeped-<- - Saw a "->-bleeped-<-" in porn and he (or she) really got turned on and wants to try it for real.

Experienced ->-bleeped-<- - Knows a lot about trans girls and what they do / go through. Has a deeper appreciation and understanding for things. Wants a steady relationship with a trans girl (for variety of reasons, sometimes they even have subtle trans feelings themselves or try to experience it vicariously).

Humm, what are some others? P: I bet there are a bunch of different types

[Mahsa Tezani]

You might want to find a guy who is bisexual. They tend to be more open to the idea of trans girls. As in a relationship. Also they often have less problems with the pre op genital arrangement.

I couldn't handle a guy wanting me to top him.

In an act of irony, my hormones killed my topping abilities. I think it's Jesus's way of saying, "You're a girl now hun"

[Michelle.]

There's an unmentionable word on this board She-male those women are often off HRT and thus able to top. Which has to be quite dangerous, having no hormones in ones body.

[Mahsa Tezani]

There's an unmentionable word on this board She-male those women are often off HRT and thus able to top. Which has to be quite dangerous, having no hormones in ones body.

I miss being a top.

Memories...I often have them. Of playing with his gun...memories... I used to imagine them...relivin the fun...Oh memories! Oh memories! OOOOOHHHHH MEMMORIES!

[Mahsa Tezani]

Hehe I think it depends on what type of ->-bleeped-<- it is It seems like there are different "levels".

Newbie ->-bleeped-<- - Saw a "->-bleeped-<-" in porn and he (or she) really got turned on and wants to try it for real.

Experienced ->-bleeped-<- - Knows a lot about trans girls and what they do / go through. Has a deeper appreciation and understanding for things. Wants a steady relationship with a trans girl (for variety of reasons, sometimes they even have subtle trans feelings themselves or try to experience it vicariously).

Humm, what are some others? P: I bet there are a bunch of different types

Trans chasing trans? It happens all the time here on Susans

[Sibila]

I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

Hi Rabbit... very recognisable!!!
There is a lot of bad talk about ->-bleeped-<-s but there are wonderfull guys out there too.
I of course too know the sad misfortune of them being bttms of ->-bleeped-<-s even.
But not all of them are that way.

I think your attitude is a very healthy one!!!
Perhaps a bisexual top would make me feel most relaxed. Someone who does not mind that I am physically two, but understands that I am mentally just one.

A lot of ->-bleeped-<-s do not understand this.

[Sibila]

In an act of irony, my hormones killed my topping abilities. I think it's Jesus's way of saying, "You're a girl now hun"

I was never able to top. Or even let anyone close near me genitals.
Now I feel OK about a lover touching them. Depends on the lover though. If he makes me feel like a woman, then its ok.
I am more comfortable with my male parts then I ever was luckely.

Still I would want a normal female body. Not sure about SRS though.

[MiaSakura]

I'm ususally really put off by people asking me about anything sexual, much less if I top.  I'm too innocent and shy for anything like that . . .

[JennX]

its because they love the penis and they try to justify their gayness by looking for a ts rather than a guy... lol i think.

This X 100000000000

It's their way of justification in their minds. It's also one of those things that sets-off a huge red flag for me if a guy ever asks me that. It's usually followed by me saying: Good Bye... have a nice life.

[Mahsa Tezani]

This X 100000000000

It's their way of justification in their minds. It's also one of those things that sets-off a huge red flag for me if a guy ever asks me that. It's usually followed by me saying: Good Bye... have a nice life.

The kinds of guys who are after me are basically guys who should know. But apparently not... Kinda weird not being chased by ->-bleeped-<-s, but by clueless straights. LOL

But I suppose thats better