How do you deal with those times when it feels like you can't take another step?

[SarahM777]

For the first time in my life as best as I can remember it seems I have been stuck in what seems like a never ending rut or an endless merry-go-round. I feel like I am so weary in my spirit and down to my very bones. I feel like i just can not take one more step. (I am not suicidal) I know i want to keep going forward but it is just so hard to keep picking my feet up to take that next step. It's frustrating me because before this I was able to to bear with it and keep moving but this time it seems so different as it seems like all the strength is gone. It just seems like this is soooo.... far away

Isaiah 40 NIV
28Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry to hear you are "out of sorts". Particularly when you say you are weary in spirit. That's getting down the serious end of the 'stick'.   It may well be a reason to have a chat to your GP.  May be the onset of stress/depression/anxiety, perhaps. It's hard to work this one through, as there are usually a plethora of reasons and causes for depression/anxiety.   The link below can take you to a mental health checkout site in Oz called, Beyond Blue.  It's recognised amongst health professionals as a reputable reference site to evaluate the potential for stress/depression/anxiety.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=1.3&gclid=COmWycHGxawCFYSBpAodNF65JQ

Have a look at the "Symptom Checklist" section and try the different tests. ( Depression and anxiety checklists) I know when I had a bout of depression years ago, my GP put me through the K-10 test to see if I was up to speed. I failed miserably, so he was able to steer me out of it with a short course medication. I now pass the test with flying colours.

It could be as simple as just taking a bit of time off and out of the system to refresh yourself. Is this weariness affecting social and work life, or is it just your journey?

As you have quoted Is 40 you are obviously predispositioned to that lifestyle. You may wish to stop a moment and ask Him what's the deal?   Does He have something to say to you?

Just a self check for yourself, as you mentioned "It just seems like this is soooo.... far away."  Jot down on a piece of paper, what is yet to be done. You may actually be closer than you think. It could also provide a management strategy on how to move forward/ what's important/ what's not scenario.

Hope you are able to get to the bottom of this quickly. I know the feeling of frustration you are feeling. Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[SarahM777]

Hi Catherine,

Sorry to hear you are "out of sorts". Particularly when you say you are weary in spirit. That's getting down the serious end of the 'stick'.   It may well be a reason to have a chat to your GP.  May be the onset of stress/depression/anxiety, perhaps. It's hard to work this one through, as there are usually a plethora of reasons and causes for depression/anxiety.   The link below can take you to a mental health checkout site in Oz called, Beyond Blue.  It's recognised amongst health professionals as a reputable reference site to evaluate the potential for stress/depression/anxiety.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=1.3&gclid=COmWycHGxawCFYSBpAodNF65JQ

Have a look at the "Symptom Checklist" section and try the different tests. ( Depression and anxiety checklists) I know when I had a bout of depression years ago, my GP put me through the K-10 test to see if I was up to speed. I failed miserably, so he was able to steer me out of it with a short course medication. I now pass the test with flying colours.

It just some how feels so different this time. I have had major bouts of depression before and I have been able to recognize when they are coming on. I did find a couple things that usually help me with the severe depression with out meds. (I hate taking meds unless i have no other choice as they are way to many side affects with the meds) It would take a little time,a lot of effort and a healthy dose of praise and worship music but it would eventually pass.

It could be as simple as just taking a bit of time off and out of the system to refresh yourself. Is this weariness affecting social and work life, or is it just your journey?

I do take some time away from the house every day as I do work at home and I do also take care of my mom. Sometimes she goes with me but I do also take some time for myself. (One or two days during the week it's just to the post office to get some shipments out but the rest of the week it's usually a bit longer) It seems to be affecting the work more so than any thing else. It just seems when i get to the work it's like trying to run in a swamp. It seems like it is taking much longer with the work or with working on things around the house.

As you have quoted Is 40 you are obviously predispositioned to that lifestyle. You may wish to stop a moment and ask Him what's the deal?   Does He have something to say to you?

I believe that God keeps telling me to just hang in there,keep moving forward and all these things will pass. I think what's hard is that I just keep feeling like i just keep messing everything up.

Just a self check for yourself, as you mentioned "It just seems like this is soooo.... far away."  Jot down on a piece of paper, what is yet to be done. You may actually be closer than you think. It could also provide a management strategy on how to move forward/ what's important/ what's not scenario.

Hope you are able to get to the bottom of this quickly. I know the feeling of frustration you are feeling. Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping.

LOL This is going to take a bit of time. With the business I have 2 1/2 rooms with stuff that has to be worked up before it's ready to be sold. The basement,garage and 2 sheds are only half cleaned up from all the stuff that my father had saved during his life time. The yard still needs a lot of work as all the flowers beds and small wooded area in the back needs to be cleaned out. ( 3 1/2 acres) As my mom can no longer do as much on the house work that leaves most of it for me to do. (She just does the cooking and laundry) I am not sure how much longer she will be able to do those two things so.......
If I can figure out how to make mole hills out of these mountains it would help.

Thank you for taking the time

Sarah

[Catherine Sarah]

Thank you Sarah,

For letting us know how you are coping.

From what you've said, I sense there are 3 possibilities that may contribute to this new feeling of weariness, particularly in the spirit.

1.) It's good you've been able to identify that it's more work related. The absolute sheer scope of work is horrendous, plus, the uncertainty of your mother. And there is "your" time that hasn't been taken into consideration.

This could be anxiety pushing your previous understanding of depression to new heights.  Depression/anxiety are linked to an imbalance of serotonin in the the brain, and this additional stress may be affecting new or other areas not previously affected.    Is there a time frame in which this work has to be completed in?

2.) I sense you are under some sort of attack.."I think what's hard is that I just keep feeling like i just keep messing everything up." Stand on that immediately.  Don't give it ground to take root.   Heaps of P&W works well.  I find myself in the prayer room at IHOP on a regular basis, to clear the 'fog' and give perspective. I can now get it on my iphone, which helps.

3.) When you mentioned a business, are you selling a business your father had, or is this just normal business? If you are selling your fathers business, could this relate to a subconscious major mental shift/ old suppressed memories?   Possible grief?   Has your father recently passed on?   If so, can you identify what stage of grief you are at?  Grief can be a slippery character at the best of times.  It can be such a 'loopy' process if not managed correctly.

I feel this is a key to part of the solution. "If I can figure out how to make mole hills out of these mountains it would help."  Is there someone close who can assist?  What has to be done now, and what can wait? Can the rooms be boxed and stored for later processing? Can it be left for 6 months?    How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

I hope some of this can help clear the fog a bit.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[SarahM777]

Thank you Catherine for taking the time.

It would seem like a bit of an irony but for me I have found when I start getting frustrated or down and if I can just get off my high horse thinking I can handle it all on my own it seems like the down times don't last as long nor are they as deep as they are when I try to go it alone. At times it seems like someone else can see some thing that seems so small to me or it's in that blind spot that I don't see it at all. And it can be that one small thing that can make a world of difference.

Thank you Sarah,

For letting us know how you are coping.

From what you've said, I sense there are 3 possibilities that may contribute to this new feeling of weariness, particularly in the spirit.

1.) It's good you've been able to identify that it's more work related. The absolute sheer scope of work is horrendous, plus, the uncertainty of your mother. And there is "your" time that hasn't been taken into consideration.

This could be anxiety pushing your previous understanding of depression to new heights.  Depression/anxiety are linked to an imbalance of serotonin in the the brain, and this additional stress may be affecting new or other areas not previously affected.    Is there a time frame in which this work has to be completed in?

With my mom it's more of an awareness that she has started turning the corner,it's small little subtle changes that both my brother and I have started seeing.I am becoming aware that the time I have to work on the business will change again. (I already had that experience with my father and that was not good) It's more like being pressed that it needs to be worked on but it's not like I am being pressed that mom is going to take a major turn for the worst in the next few months. It's more like I have maybe 2 to 3 years at most. It's going to be trying to find the balance between what needs to be done today and what can be let go until tomorrow.

2.) I sense you are under some sort of attack.."I think what's hard is that I just keep feeling like i just keep messing everything up." Stand on that immediately.  Don't give it ground to take root.   Heaps of P&W works well.  I find myself in the prayer room at IHOP on a regular basis, to clear the 'fog' and give perspective. I can now get it on my iphone, which helps.

Thank you for the reminder. It is way to easy to forget that he doesn't really exist and his ways are through lies,deception and sneak attacks and rarely bold frontal attacks. This will help me to be able to focus on what I need to pray about.

3.) When you mentioned a business, are you selling a business your father had, or is this just normal business? If you are selling your fathers business, could this relate to a subconscious major mental shift/ old suppressed memories?   Possible grief?   Has your father recently passed on?   If so, can you identify what stage of grief you are at?  Grief can be a slippery character at the best of times.  It can be such a 'loopy' process if not managed correctly.

I feel this is a key to part of the solution. "If I can figure out how to make mole hills out of these mountains it would help."  Is there someone close who can assist?  What has to be done now, and what can wait? Can the rooms be boxed and stored for later processing? Can it be left for 6 months?    How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

The business was actually started by my mom and I ended up buying it out from my folks. It's more with collecetables so none of it is prepackaged it has to be worked up first as most of the material comes in large boxes and it's all very small items. (Most of it is smaller than a # 6 size envelope and no thicker)

My father passed on about 1 1/2 ago and the two of us never got along. Out of the five kids that still survive. The only other one to help with him was my youngest brother. (The two years before he passed on my mom and I ended up being his care givers and with the fact that she does not drive do to being blind in one eye, there were quite a few months that he was at the doctors up to 10 times or e would be in the hospital for longer periods) This does tie in with the being pressed for time as I know how much time doing that much running takes away from other things.

With the fact that it was over a two year time frame it was more of a relief when he did pass on. Even to the very end he could not accept me being TS. He would have had an easier time with me being gay.
When he found out it was really bad. I wish he would have accepted me but it was his choice. Do i miss him? I can't say that I do.

I feel this is a key to part of the solution. "If I can figure out how to make mole hills out of these mountains it would help."  Is there someone close who can assist?  What has to be done now, and what can wait? Can the rooms be boxed and stored for later processing? Can it be left for 6 months?    How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

I do have two people that are helping. What I found that the biggest bottle neck is doing the scans so I can list the stuff. One of them is my friend and the other is one of his daughters. He gets about 500 items each week and she gets 500 items twice a month. It seems right now that it's a good balance as that's about what I can get listed and still work on the messier stuff to scan. (I give them the easier items to scan where they can just do 1 preview and because everything is the same size they can do it like a production line. I do pay them by piece but it is set up so that they can if they work at it they can do better than a part time job at McDonald's or Walmart. (I did find out it works better with this type of work to pay them by the piece than by the hour and to let it be subcontracted.)

I still am struggling a bit as to what needs to be worked on first so it can be balanced. There is some stuff that i can put off to the side as i do already have some of it listed so i can let the duplicates go at this time. So it doesn't get all over the place most of it is already in boxes and its just trying to
figure out which needs to be done first.

I wanted to think a little bit also about where i am with the TG issues which are also playing a part. I think I have finally gotten an answer as to why i am not to seek human methods on it. I keep getting the time when Paul was starting to set out for Jerusalem and he was warned about what would happen if he continued on. God never told Paul that he couldn't make that choice but if he made that choice there were going to be consequences that Paul was not going to like. I am getting the feeling that if I did choose SRS that it will NOT go well for me. God is not saying that i can't do it but what is best for me is to wait for God's time in this. I think part of my problem is that God has given me some freedom to work with but I am not following through as well as I should be.

Sarah

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Sarah,

Thank you so much for "filling" in a lot of gaps. BTW have I told you, what a lovely name you have? (giggle).

This may be a complex reply, so I have broken it into 3 sections.

1.) My perceived over view, be it right or wrong. You'll know the answer to that, when you put it up against His plan for you.
2.) Some key statements you have made, I think, clarify the thread issue of your weary spirit.
3.) Observations and corrections to my responce in the light of new evidence.

1.)OVERVIEW
Thank you for your enlightenment. I clearly understand where you are coming from, and your motivation for getting things done.

You've obviously spoken to Him at length, and have a fairly clear understanding of His plan for you. As to your weariness of spirit, I sense it is one of two things.
It's either an attack on you, to knock you down; or it's a wake up call to listen for either new revelation or you're not on task as outlined in His plan.

What further compounds your dilemma, is the fact you are not to seek human intervention or methods into your TG issues. This coupled with the highly, labour intensive business, which is very system/process oriented; and your TG issues are very much in a "cloud"; waiting for what may appear to be non human methods or a somewhat delayed human intervention.    I personally struggle with His methods and reasonings, and find them hard to understand as they aren't logical. (A major failing of mine.)

2.) KEY STATEMENTS

"a) I am becoming aware that the time I have to work on the business will change again."
b) It's going to be trying to find the balance between what needs to be done today and what can be let go until tomorrow
c) I still am struggling a bit as to what needs to be worked on first so it can be balanced
and its just trying to figure out which needs to be done first.
d) I think part of my problem is that God has given me some freedom to work with but I am not following through as well as I should be"   The underline is quite pertinent

I sense, from these statements, either the business, or your involvement in it, maybe the "fly in the ointment." You can work that out by referring to His plan for you.  I feel the workload under the current circumstances is intricate and horrendous.

Lastly;  e) " I wish he would have accepted me but it was his choice. Do i miss him? I can't say that I do."  (Any unresolved hidden matters here, that may be complicating or compounding the issue??)

3.) OBSERVATION & CORRECTION.

Thank you Catherine for taking the time.
It would seem like a bit of an irony but for me I have found when I start getting frustrated or down and if I can just get off my high horse thinking I can handle it all on my own it seems like the down times don't last as long nor are they as deep as they are when I try to go it alone. At times it seems like someone else can see some thing that seems so small to me or it's in that blind spot that I don't see it at all. And it can be that one small thing that can make a world of difference.

Spot on. you are on the money with that observation. 100% correct.

Thank you Sarah,
For letting us know how you are coping.
From what you've said, I sense there are 3 possibilities that may contribute to this new feeling of weariness, particularly in the spirit.

1.) It's good you've been able to identify that it's more work related. The absolute sheer scope of work is horrendous, plus, the uncertainty of your mother. And there is "your" time that hasn't been taken into consideration.

This could be anxiety pushing your previous understanding of depression to new heights.  Depression/anxiety are linked to an imbalance of serotonin in the the brain, and this additional stress may be affecting new or other areas not previously affected.   

"With my mom it's more of an awareness that she has started turning the corner,it's small little subtle changes that both my brother and I have started seeing.I am becoming aware that the time I have to work on the business will change again. (I already had that experience with my father and that was not good) It's more like being pressed that it needs to be worked on but it's not like I am being pressed that mom is going to take a major turn for the worst in the next few months. It's more like I have maybe 2 to 3 years at most. It's going to be trying to find the balance between what needs to be done today and what can be let go until tomorrow.

Do I sense a need to spend more time with your Mum in the time remaining and less on the business??  What significance has your Mum had on you? What, if anything has she to impart to you?  Refer to His plan for you, or I could be right off the planet on this one.

2.) I sense you are under some sort of attack.."I think what's hard is that I just keep feeling like i just keep messing everything up." Stand on that immediately.  Don't give it ground to take root.   Heaps of P&W works well.  I find myself in the prayer room at IHOP on a regular basis, to clear the 'fog' and give perspective. I can now get it on my iphone, which helps.

"Thank you for the reminder. It is way to easy to forget that he doesn't really exist and his ways are through lies,deception and sneak attacks and rarely bold frontal attacks. This will help me to be able to focus on what I need to pray about."

Once again you are spot on the money

3.) When you mentioned a business, are you selling a business your father had, or is this just normal business? If you are selling your fathers business, could this relate to a subconscious major mental shift/ old suppressed memories?   Possible grief?   Has your father recently passed on?   If so, can you identify what stage of grief you are at?  Grief can be a slippery character at the best of times.  It can be such a 'loopy' process if not managed correctly.

"I do have two people that are helping. What I found that the biggest bottle neck is doing the scans so I can list the stuff. One of them is my friend and the other is one of his daughters. He gets about 500 items each week and she gets 500 items twice a month. It seems right now that it's a good balance as that's about what I can get listed and still work on the messier stuff to scan. (I give them the easier items to scan where they can just do 1 preview and because everything is the same size they can do it like a production line."    Could perhaps some of this "messier stuff" be given to them, in order to give you more space to think and manage the business. After all, it is more effective if you work ON the business, not IN the business. BIG difference. " I do pay them by piece but it is set up so that they can if they work at it they can do better than a part time job at McDonald's or Walmart. (I did find out it works better with this type of work to pay them by the piece than by the hour and to let it be subcontracted.)"  Very effective and efficient way to run a business.

In closing, I hope this has clarified some issues for you. Fortunately, you are the one with the answers.   And thank you for sharing.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[veronica nickie]

Hi Sarahn777

This is in no way to replace the thoughts Catherine has given you!  You wanted to add another few thoughts because I feel very bad you are down.  The Lord says even in the dark valley he is with us, and he is with you.  When hyou can not walk further, He will carry you in his arms just as a good shepard would carry one of his little lambsl  If we are under attack from our enemy that is often one of the first targets, like He does not really love you does He??

I think a common denomenator of being transgender is fights with depression.  I have had many a battle with that.  One question is even tho you feel led the Lord at least for now says no to srs, and that's fine, you follow what you think He is leading you to do, but my battles with depression 90% subsided when I went on theraputic levels of estrogen.  Why not seek The Lord on that one topic if so far you feel that you are to seek no outside help.  Perhaps regulating your interior of your body so that your hormones match you gender is not included in how you feel He has shown you to go ?

Lastly, I believe a prayer can be a writen email as well as verbal, altho I prefer hands on and verbal.  Whatever, this is all we have right now.  So, in Jesus name I command you lying oppressors to leave Sarah now.  Lord I ask you fill her anew with the wonders of yourself and with the love that you have for Sarah.  Lord, surround Sarah with your love afresh, and stand guard over your precious child. Lord please confirm to her how you would have her deal with all the difficult circumstances being transgender bring.  Show her afresh and confirm your wisdome to her.  Please do this Lord, in Jesus your name I ask!

love

Veronica

[veronica nickie]

Sarah

I got interupted and said you instead of I wanted to add some thoughts.

Sorry
Veronica

[SarahM777]

Hi Sarah,

Thank you so much for "filling" in a lot of gaps. BTW have I told you, what a lovely name you have? (giggle).

Hi Catherine,

I like your name too. 


I do thank you so much for taking the time,you are helping me to see where the real problem is. It's the trust issue. It would be so much easier to simply chuck the business and try to find something that would be a more regular income. It's just dawned on me, I am starting to see the similarities between where I am and what the Iraelites went through going through the desert. I think the real questions I am being asked is "Do you want to go back to "Egypt" or will you trust Me to provide for you even though you can not see it at this moment?"


I will come back to the rest a bit later as I do have to get some work done this morning.You have been so kind to take the time and it has been a real help as you are pointing out things that are helping me to clarify where I am at and what i need to pray about.

Thanks
Sarah

[SarahM777]

Hi Catherine,

Today is one of those days where I may have to do this piece mail so to speak.

Lastly;  e) " I wish he would have accepted me but it was his choice. Do i miss him? I can't say that I do."  (Any unresolved hidden matters here, that may be complicating or compounding the issue??)

I did especially want to come back to this first as I think that it is one of the biggest keys that God has given us to use but it is also the one that is one of the toughest to use. I think it is one of the the most important things for us to do for our spirits but also our minds and it even affects our body. It's forgiving some one else and it's not by any means always easy to do when some one hurts us badly. But what I have found is that when we can do so it frees us up in so many ways. It seems to actually allow God to start a healing process in us. The thing is it allows us to let go of the anger,bitterness,hurt and pain and when that is gone it makes everything else that much easier to deal with.

As for not missing him it's more of the fact that we didn't really know each other very well and with the fact we were so different that there just wasn't that much for us to be able to relate to each other. The hardest was that I really needed a dad and I just had a father. Too often his wants were placed above our needs. In 50 years I can not remember a time where he ever said he loved me or that he even wanted me. The sad part is that if he had even done so once or twice it would have been enough for me. It was his choice on how he wanted to live. I'm not quite sure but I think I am on the right path in that one of the other things is that the barriers between us in this life will be gone in the next. My father will see his daughter Sarah as God intended her to be and I will see my father as he was intended to be.

Although of course i still have to clean up his man caves. (ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH)
30 years worth of man cave stuff. (and it has not been touched in years I mean after all he could have at least thrown out the broken motors and the half used paint cans from 30 years ago etc) and for all I know there could be something alive in there. (I have already found the mother mouse and her babies in one of the sheds) I think I may need a dumpster. 

Do I sense a need to spend more time with your Mum in the time remaining and less on the business??  What significance has your Mum had on you? What, if anything has she to impart to you?  Refer to His plan for you, or I could be right off the planet on this one.

Actually some days I need a break from my mom. (About 5 years ago i had moved back in with my folks as my father was starting to go down hill then and my mom doesn't drive anymore) In some ways it is working out fairly well. If the two of us were on our own neither one of us could make it but together we can make the bills and she can stay in the house that she has been in the past 35 years. And on this I have no doubt that taking care of her is a big part of God's plan for me.

The one thing about my mom is that she does have what some would consider to be a strong "male" streak in her. I think if she had grown up in a different time she would have been a hockey player or would have gone into roller derby. (and I think she would have really wanted to get into the scrums) As far back as I can remember she rarely wears dresses or make up. With her growing up in the late 30's and 40's it's not typical behavior. She's OK with it and she refuses to be placed in a box because that is not her and because of that she has some small insight into what I have gone through because she also does not fit the mold. It has also helped in that she worked as a nurse in the neo natal unit. She is so aware of the fact that children born with intersexed conditions is more common than most people even begin to realize and when she was going for her nurses training she also dealt with some older people that were dealing with intersexed conditions and she saw the effects of it and she knew one that ended up committing suicide. I have been able to tease her a little bit where once in a while I can point out to her that she already had the son she always wanted and then she could also at some point have the daughter she always wanted. 

She does also help me out with the business a little bit. (It is something she enjoys and helps keep her mind a little sharper and it also keeps her from just watching TV and playing computer games all day)

I have noticed from time to time though our laundry is getting mixed up. Hmmmmm.
No it's not the undies or night wear but for some strange reason some of the tee shirts or sweat shirts end up in the wrong basket. (On the tees and sweats we are way too much alike) I think in some ways she likes being able to hand down some of the tee and sweats.


On the waiting for God's timing for the TG issues part of it is that too often it seems like even if I wanted to the funds are not there. I don't have insurance so that doesn't help. Right now with the way the business is going with the ups and downs I need to be really careful on long term plans. I am not so sure that starting hormones and should I be placed into a situation where I may have to stop due to the lack of funds does not seem like a good idea at this point. God willing I hope that the peaks and valleys will even out a bit.

You did give me a bit of insight into something i had not thought about and it is really a simple matter that I had forgotten about. About 4 months ago I had run out of some supplies that I am waiting on from my supplier and when that happened I was no longer rotating what I was working on. Plain and simply I have gotten bored with what I am working on at the moment and I just need to change it up a bit. (I had totally missed that and if you hadn't taken the time i may never have thought about it)

Thank you 

Sarah

[SarahM777]

Hi Sarahn777

This is in no way to replace the thoughts Catherine has given you!  You wanted to add another few thoughts because I feel very bad you are down.  The Lord says even in the dark valley he is with us, and he is with you.  When hyou can not walk further, He will carry you in his arms just as a good shepard would carry one of his little lambsl  If we are under attack from our enemy that is often one of the first targets, like He does not really love you does He??

I think a common denomenator of being transgender is fights with depression.  I have had many a battle with that.  One question is even tho you feel led the Lord at least for now says no to srs, and that's fine, you follow what you think He is leading you to do, but my battles with depression 90% subsided when I went on theraputic levels of estrogen.  Why not seek The Lord on that one topic if so far you feel that you are to seek no outside help.  Perhaps regulating your interior of your body so that your hormones match you gender is not included in how you feel He has shown you to go ?

Lastly, I believe a prayer can be a writen email as well as verbal, altho I prefer hands on and verbal.  Whatever, this is all we have right now.  So, in Jesus name I command you lying oppressors to leave Sarah now.  Lord I ask you fill her anew with the wonders of yourself and with the love that you have for Sarah.  Lord, surround Sarah with your love afresh, and stand guard over your precious child. Lord please confirm to her how you would have her deal with all the difficult circumstances being transgender bring.  Show her afresh and confirm your wisdome to her.  Please do this Lord, in Jesus your name I ask!

love

Veronica

Thank you Veronica,

I think you are so right about us having to fight off depression. One thing i can be thankful for is that I can finally see the warning signs of when i am getting to close to going into another major bout of depression and if it is not dealt with at this point it's only going to get worse before it gets better. One thing that I think helps is when things start going down that path is to just open up and speak even if it may seem silly to someone else otherwise it starts becoming a self feeding cycle and by no means does that mean that there isn't a physical reason for it either and by no means am i saying that depression should be minimized.

For know I can not do much about any HRH either until as such time as it can be provided for. It is what it is and I can only pray and wait on the Lord until it is time. 

Sarah

[mowdan6]

When things are tough, I always pray Psalm 61: 1-4
"Hear my cry, oh God; Attend to my prayer.  From the end of the earth I will cry to you.  When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of your wings.  Selah"

[justmeinoz]

I like to look up religious posts from time to time even though I am currently atheist.

If I was to identify with any group it would be through my Jewish Great-grandmother.  That is enough for me to be considered Jewish apparently.  Six Million of my distant relatives were martyred for the crime of existing so I feel I still have a vested interest in religious debates.

When I see Christians using the Hebrew scriptures to make a point I tend to get a bit annoyed.  I see it as part of an old established tendency to co-opt (not Copt! ) the Torah and erase Judaism as a separate religion. Christians have their own scriptures which claim to supersede the Hebrew's.

So hands off! Jewish scholars engaged in dispute don't use excerpts from the Gospel, taken out of context, as literature supporting their case as far as I know.

[SarahM777]

I like to look up religious posts from time to time even though I am currently atheist.

If I was to identify with any group it would be through my Jewish Great-grandmother.  That is enough for me to be considered Jewish apparently.  Six Million of my distant relatives were martyred for the crime of existing so I feel I still have a vested interest in religious debates.

I too have a vested interest in this matter. To often it is forgotten that there were those who DID NOT go along with the Nazi's, those who risked their lives to hide and protect the Jews. My mom had cousins who were thrown in concentration camps and had to endure watching their mother have her bones broken one by one,and afterwards they then started on their father with their only crime being that they were willing to help and not go along with the Nazi's. (The family does have the letters from after the war) Then to watch afterwards even 30 years later that many in the Jewish community would spit words at my mom who's only crime was that she was of German heritage never realizing that she was never involved with the Nazi's as she was born here in the states and that some of her family lost their lives because they were willing to lay them down for another.

Please I am not trying to minimize what happened at that time. Far to many of the German people at that time followed the Nazi's for different reasons. But it is far to easy to lump all in a broad paint stroke then to see them as individual people and it goes for both sides.

This is just my opinion but I think when we take broad based views and stereotypes and start using them against
any other person Whether or not they may or may NOT BE TRUE it does not allow us to see someone else as a unique person made in the very image of God whose worth and value is very great and beyond price.


I should also clarify that stereotypes can be true for a very very small number of individuals in a very very small subsection of any group giving it the appearance of being the truth but when applied to the larger group as a whole is the farthest thing from the truth.

[mowdan6]

2 Timothy 3:16...."All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." 
I do not look to take the Hebrew out of context.  I use what God has given me.  A message of faith.  Both old and new testament.  All scripture. 

[SarahM777]

When things are tough, I always pray Psalm 61: 1-4
"Hear my cry, oh God; Attend to my prayer.  From the end of the earth I will cry to you.  When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of your wings.  Selah"

Thank you Mowdan.

Have you ever heard the version set to music? For me I found that often when scripture is set to music it is far easier for me to remember.

I think I am beginning to see what it is that I am having a really hard time with and it's the trust issue. I can hear myself doing this.

Lord it your's.  At first it seems to go well then it's after a while no on second thought I better take over.
Lord I've screwed it up again it's yours. And so it goes over and over again.
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Foolish human when will I just let go and not try to keep picking it up and doing it my own way.
As I was going through some older music CDs to transfer them to my MP3 I was reminded of 2 songs that really spoke to me

Not by Sight - Petra

Sometimes we're runnin' along
Blind to where we're goin'
Sometimes we lose our bearings
When the storm is blowin'

They say this shadow land is only temporary
These light afflictions work a great eternal glory

(Chorus)
Walk by faith, not by sight
Strengthened by His glorious might
Walk by faith, not by sight
Heading for that land of light
Walk by faith and not by sight

Sometimes we ain't so sure
He sees us when we're kneelin'
Sometimes we forget salvation ain't a feelin'
We know that Jesus died for our justification
We grow in His image by suffering tribulations

Hold fast your confidence
You've got an invitation
To meet Him in the air
at His revelation


More Power to Ya  - Petra

You say you've been feeling weaker, weaker by the day
You say you can't make the joy of your salvation stay
But good things come to them that wait
Not to those who hesitate
So hurry up and wait upon the Lord

(Chorus)
More power to ya
When you're standing on His word
When you're trusting with your whole heart in the message you have heard
More power to ya
When we're all in one accord
They that wait upon the Lord, they shall renew, they shall renew their strength

Jesus promised His disciples He'd give strength to them
Jesus told them all to tarry in Jerusalem
When they were all in one accord
The power of His Spirit poured
And they began to turn the world around

So be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might
Put on all His armor and fight the good fight
In all of our weakness, He becomes so strong
When He gives us the power and the strength to carry on