how did you feel when you started puberty?

[Torn1990]

I remember when things started changing i was just in complete denial and misery.
When people told me my voice was changing and they had this kind of like : "HOHOHOHO look AT YOU getting all grown up and handsome"
attitude going on i would just get completely annoyed
I spent puberty hiding inside myself and wishing none of it was happening.
it was probably a time in my life that i was most suicidal.
What was your experience like? How do you reflect on those times now that you have come to realize your transgender status? If you're going through puberty now, how do you cope or do you need to? Do any of us have any advice to those going through puberty and dealing with unsupportive environments or unsafe environments for coming out and transition?

[umop ap!sdn]

I remember looking in the mirror and hating the reflection I saw. Hating my voice thinking it sounded all boyish. Parents told me I was turning into a "fine young man" and I thought yeah that's nice - cut it out - I'm never gonna be that.

As for advice I would say it gets better... things may be difficult now but as an adult you can make great strides and then you'll look back and see how far you've come.

[kelly_aus]

I have 2 words to describe puberty: Profoundly disturbing..

[rainyjun]

I don't know if I hated puberty more than the average cisgendered person. I doubt most teens enjoy that awkward stage. I knew I was going to grow up at some point and resigned myself to that fact. Didn't like my chest growing in, and bleeding for 5 days without dying is never fun. I was very uncomfortable with my body for most of my life. Mentally detached myself from it and escaped through games and imagining myself as some other boy in some land far away.

[supremecatoverlord]

Awful and profoundly insecure.

[xXRebeccaXx]

Like taking a knife to my testes.

[JenJen2011]

I honestly didn't care until I found out I could turn into a woman.

[Felix]

Lol I was spared from the trauma of puberty by virtue of the fact that I was overwhelmed and kept busy with other traumas. Life is awesome like that. There is nothing so bad that it cannot be made worse.

[lonely girl]

Like taking a knife to my testes.

+1
em nasty MOFOS  

[apple pie]

I didn't think much about the changes to do specifically with puberty either, for some reason.
But I was upset about not being a girl in my teenage years for sure.

[Medusa]

Like taking a knife to my testes.

yeah I remember as at that age they say at tv news some guy do it and die for exanguination, it scares me from this possibility

[Lynn]

I started being "conditioned" into the male role around the time I was 5 or so, by everything at school. so by the time puberty hit me, I was already so sick of life I honestly couldn't get myself to care anymore. I'd say it was so bad that I only really went through physical puberty (and if you ask my family etc, they'd pretty much agree). I never started behaving differently in any way (apart from the natural maturing of course) so I suppose that's why.

Right now, when I know I can actually turn my life around and start living how I feel like I should've lived my whole life, I'm pretty pissed off at what puberty has done to me ... but I guess I'll learn to live with my past as my transition progresses and I fall into the life I've always wanted and deserved.

[Lexicaligari]

Sucked-ass... Not in a good way. When the body hair came in I was shocked silly.  It was vile, and I sincerely felt "Unclean". Shaved it then and all my life.

[bojangles]

I wanted to be dead and was medicated...at age 9.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Pretty damn good. I learned about my penis then and how it could keep me warm during the lonely nights.

No, puberty sucks either way...then you're a teenager

[~RoadToTrista~]

I didn't care, but I did stop being comfortable with my shirt off, I became uncomfortable with my shoulder-to-hip ratio after awhile, and then there was my height. Oh and I secretly wanted to get in trouble with the law as an excuse to hide by sex change. Of course back then I thought a sex change operation was a bit more extensive, lolz

[RhinoP]

I hate puberty and still do, as I'm going through the "adult" puberty still. Back in school, I was the FIRST boy in my entire grade to develope extreme leg and underarm hair, the first to develope extreme rosacea, thick skin, abd acne, and the first to look very oily and having extremely masculine facialfearures. Most of the other boys around me looked female or andrigynous well up to 10th grade, and many I still know look female to this day; none of them underwenr hornone therapy. My big problem is I had an extreme overproduction of androgens very early and was not put on reducers, so I look masculine betond easy repair; to ever even resemble a female, I'll have ti have at least $20,000 worth of surgery, and its all cuz my parents wouldnt put me on a $25 a month hormone therapy plan like those kids on the Maury show.

^sorry foe typos, on a phone.

[malinkibear]

I didn't mind so much, I guess. I can't really remember when it started or how I felt. I know I always hated periods so much though.

[Felix]

My daughter asked me this question earlier. My answer to her was a lot different than my answer here. I gave her a simplified account of how confusing it was to develop the wrong parts and get lumped in with the girls. I did remind her that it's confusing and emotional for everyone.

[pebbles]

I was horrified I hated what was happening to my voice but no matter how much I squeezed I couldn't stop it... When my facial hair started coming through I was miserable I knew it would come but of course it came for me first and the worst. at first I tried epilating it clean with a metal slinky toy I had. It hurt like hell. When my parents saw me doing that I was given a razor with replaceable razorblades... Unknowingly they provided me a means with whitch to cope with the pain that was afflicting me.

Self harm became my coping mechanism shortly afterwards.