Advice Regarding Friend

[cdalyssa]

Hello everyone. I need some advice. Only a few people know about my crossdressing- my parents, a therapist, female friend. My parents found out by discovering my clothes, which led to the therapist, so not by choice. On the other hand my friend knows because I trust her and wanted her to know. However, since I told her(in February) we haven't really talked about it.

I had planned to reveal my secret to her on Halloween, by surprising her at work as "Alyssa." She runs a hair salon out of her house.  A week before Halloween I spent a day trying on all my outfits to see what I should wear and took some pictures. Anyways, a few days after my fashion show, she told me she'd be going to Chile(her home country) because her grandmother was ill. So my plan had to be put on the back burner. I had several chances after that Halloween to tell her but always chickened out. I finally decided to tell her when we met for our regular Saturday coffee break. I said that there was something I hadn't told her about Halloween. I said I was disappointed she wasn't around for Halloween, because I was going to ask for her help with my make up. She asked what I was going as. I replied "in drag." She laughed and said she would have loved to help me and was sad she couldn't. She asked what I ended up doing instead. I said I didn't go anywhere, but decided to get dressed up anyway just to see, since I had the "clothing." I implied that I was borrowing/renting the costume. I said I took some pictures and asked if she'd like to see them. She did want to, so I showed her them. She said I looked great and wouldn't have known it was me. She asked who did my makeup, since it looked so good and where did I get the clothes. This is where I came out of the closet. I told her that for most of my life I've been crossdressing, and that the clothes were mine and I did my own makeup. I explained everything to her, including how I had stopped for several years, but had slowly gotten back into it over the last 18 months. I also explained why I decided to tell her, which was because I believed she could handle it and also because of her profession, hair & makeup stylist. I hoped she would be able to help me in perfecting a more feminine appearance.

As I stated above, we haven't really discussed it since then. What I want to know is, should I broach the topic again or just leave it? I really would like to include her in that part of my life, but am hesitant to force the issue because I value our friendship so much. I feel that because I enjoy living my life as a male, but still enjoying some time(mostly in private) as Alyssa, this issue isn't worth losing our friendship over.

HELP! What should I do?

Confused Alyssa

[rosetyler]

This is where I came out of the closet.

How did she react after you said that?

[cdalyssa]

She was really cool. It was like I told her that my favorite food is pasta. She asked a few questions, which I expected of course, but was not at all upset or disgusted. She even seemed willing to help me when I asked if she would consider giving me a makeup lesson and some clothing tips. Which is why I am confused I guess. When I saw her again, I didn't say anything thinking she would want to talk about it after having a few days to digest it. When she didn't, I got nervous and started having doubts so I kept quiet on the subject too. Now so much time has passed, I'm not sure if I should find a way to discuss it, or just leave it alone?

I look back on that day with such fond memories because it was so great to be able to talk openly with someone who actually knows me, unlike posting on social sites where I am just an anonymous person with an avatar. My dilemma is: by keeping quiet am I missing a great opportunity to further enhance our friendship by adding my crossdressing to its fabric or should I remain quiet because there is no need to add it and in the long run I have no problem keeping it private.

I hope this makes sense, writing this while suffering the flu.

[JulieC.]

You've been friends for a long time and she likes you.  This is just one part of you and I would guess she has accepted it since you still see each other and she's not avoiding you.  She may feel a little uncomfortable about it since she hasn't brought up the subject.  She is possibly waiting for you to bring it up again.  Rather than hitting her with "let's do a make over" I would ask her a simple question like...how do I know what color foundation to buy or what color lipstick do you think would look good on me.  I think you can judge how she feels by how she answers.  If it's a very short answer she is probably not all that accepting of helping you.  If she gives you some good advice on what to do or how to do it, that is a good sign.  The more you talk about it over a period of time the more comfortable it will become.  You shouldn't be surprised if she likes the male you and isn't as interested in having a "girlfriend" to talk about makeup and dresses with.  At any rate I'm sure you can remain friends with her...it just may not be all you hoped for.