why i will never use a sperm donor

[anibioman]

hi people i just want to say some more things about this. i know adoption cost more i just was thinking about how the sperm and everything costs a bunch and it might not even workout. last time i checked being trans didnt automatically exclude you from adopting in the US and definitely not in the liberal state i live in. also i would totally date a girl who has a kid because she didnt get pregnant with another persons baby while being in love with me if you get what im saying. i prefer the idea of giving a child who is already here a home instead of making a new one that isnt even related to me.

[Aussie Jay]

i prefer the idea of giving a child who is already here a home instead of making a new one that isnt even related to me.

What's to say that you wont feel like that with a child who is not related to EITHER of you? I would much rather the child be half my wife than not genetically connected to either of us.. And any child you raise WILL be related to you - family isn't all about blood connections mate. The kid you (eventually) parent is going to know no one but you as Daddy unless you tell it different..

I don't have a problem - its just sperm. I don't make it, so I need to find it elsewhere. Similar to taking testosterone if you think about it... The problem I would have is if she actually had (or god forbid wanted) to sleep with the other guy to get pregnant - that's a no go for sure - I don't share well with others!

[Jen-Jen]

hi people i just want to say some more things about this. i know adoption cost more i just was thinking about how the sperm and everything costs a bunch and it might not even workout. last time i checked being trans didnt automatically exclude you from adopting in the US and definitely not in the liberal state i live in. also i would totally date a girl who has a kid because she didnt get pregnant with another persons baby while being in love with me if you get what im saying. i prefer the idea of giving a child who is already here a home instead of making a new one that isnt even related to me.

I totally get what your saying/feel. I too would not want my girl pregnant by another including sperm donor. Territorial machismo or?  I dunno maybe but its just part of loving someone and wanting to be special. I am very territorial, she's mine and I don't like to share! I agree with all that you have said.

[JohnAlex]

I for one cannot believe that you just called your potential child a "he/she/it".   "It" is NOT for people.

But I also do plan to adopt just because there are so many kids out there that need a home.

[Sharky]

I don't see what's wrong with being "territorial." That seems perfectly normal and expected to me.

The idea of giving a home to a child that's already here is great, but I hear its so hard for anyone to adopt. I know a cis straight couple that pulls in 200k a year that's having a hard time adopting.

It's pretty common for people to use it for babies. It is a pronoun too, that's what I was taught in school.

I could love any child. I think it's cool when kids look like their parents though. Being able to see my wife in them would be great. There is definitely an extra special bond between a mother who carry and nurses her child. I would like it if my wife wanted that.

[Jennifer.L]

This is why I'm doing a 10 year deposit before I start E  You know so I can have a kid with my GF.  I do wounder how it's going to come over legally I mean like if we wanted to get married.  Cause I will be legally female in the end xD

[Make_It_Good]

I like the idea of putting one of my eggs inside my girlfriend, along with a random sperm donor, so that way I feel the child is biologically connected to both of us.

While this may be something youre okay with, there is a chance your girlfriend will not be.
I would probably opt for a spermn dnonor. Ive had to accept I cant biologically father a child, a sperm donor is the next best thing. Many men are infertile, and I just think of myself like that. Plus, once you actually have the child, not being "biologically related" wont matter anymore.
Id spoken to my girlfriend about freezing eggs and then her using them, and she really did NOT like the idea, and it seems that that is a great potential for women, to have a child inside them that is not related to them at all.
  Plus, if you were to harvest your eggs, you would have to come off T, take other hormones to induce a cycle (or whatever it is thats specifically needed). Plus, it would cost more to harvest eggs, keep them frozen and cared for each year and then to use a sperm donor.

Im not trying to put anyone off who is leaning toward using their eggs, as Id considered it, but its just best to know all that needs to be considered. Plus, if youre having a hysterectomy, you would need to do it before then (I know thats an obvious statement :p, but just incase you are very eager to get your hysto done quick, youll be paying for this process soon and for a long time).

Also, as others have mentioned, adoption is a lengthy and expensive process :/

[Zac]

At first, I worried about the fact that I'd have to use another man's sperm to impregnate my partner. It didn't feel right and was quite the sore spot when mentioned; I just didn't like the idea that I had such a shortcoming. Now, though, I've gotten over it and wouldn't mind it because we as a couple want to go through that stage. The whole.. pregnancy thing. There's no doubt in my mind that the child will be 100% mind. Sperm doesn't make a child yours, love does.

[wheat thins are delicious]

While this may be something youre okay with, there is a chance your girlfriend will not be.
I would probably opt for a spermn dnonor. Ive had to accept I cant biologically father a child, a sperm donor is the next best thing. Many men are infertile, and I just think of myself like that. Plus, once you actually have the child, not being "biologically related" wont matter anymore.
Id spoken to my girlfriend about freezing eggs and then her using them, and she really did NOT like the idea, and it seems that that is a great potential for women, to have a child inside them that is not related to them at all.
  Plus, if you were to harvest your eggs, you would have to come off T, take other hormones to induce a cycle (or whatever it is thats specifically needed). Plus, it would cost more to harvest eggs, keep them frozen and cared for each year and then to use a sperm donor.

Im not trying to put anyone off who is leaning toward using their eggs, as Id considered it, but its just best to know all that needs to be considered. Plus, if youre having a hysterectomy, you would need to do it before then (I know thats an obvious statement :p, but just incase you are very eager to get your hysto done quick, youll be paying for this process soon and for a long time).

Also, as others have mentioned, adoption is a lengthy and expensive process :/

Plus eggs can't be frozen and stored like sperm.  When you harvest the egg you have to fertilize it right then.

[Cody Jensen]

I have thought about this a lot. I've thought since I am not yet on T I can still freeze my eggs and then when the time comes, get a sperm donor and a surrogate mother. But I'm wondering exactly how much this would all cost and I'm also considering adoption.

[SandraJane]

I have thought about this a lot. I've thought since I am not yet on T I can still freeze my eggs and then when the time comes, get a sperm donor and a surrogate mother. But I'm wondering exactly how much this would all cost and I'm also considering adoption.

For Egg "banking", it might not be that expensive, compared to Sperm "banking" which averages an initial $1000.00. I spoke with a major Lab that does egg and sperm "banking", storage, Fairfax Cryobank, and here's the cost for sperm storage;

Pricing:
(some people just do the 1st visit, some want to have a second sample frozen.  It's up to you, we recommend seeing how the first sample looks, then deciding).
Initial (1st) visit:
Consultation $150
Semen analysis/freezing $305
Total with blood drawn offsite $455 **see tests below
*If bloodwork is done at Fairfax Cryobank, there is an additional fee of $135

Additional samples frozen (if desired) $305 each

Storage Fees, once samples are frozen (per account, not per sample):
Monthly $40/month
Prepay 1 year $395
Prepay 2 year $670
Prepay 5 year $1340

Required Blood Tests:
HIV-1 Antibody/HIV-2 Antibody   (cpt code 86703)
Hepatitis B surface Antigen            (cpt code 87340)
Hepatitis C Antibody                          (cpt code 86803)

Fertility Clinics and Local Sperm banks more often contract the long term storage of egg and sperm storage to companies like Fairfax Cryobank, and I was also told there was "paperwork" to fill out including documents pertaining to "custody" of the specimen. All in all I'd say it is cheaper than adoption, but how long do you store it? How long is long enough? One day you stop paying the bill and the sample is removed from storage...

I'm of the thought that others have posted also;

the important things is the child itself.  if you're going to look at a child and think its weird cos it isn't your flesh and blood you're not fit to be a parent.  -lilacwoman

Been married "thrice", no children, no plans to have any of my own at this point, I feel more inclined to help raise another's child, than to have my own.

[Jude]

The idea of kids is very far from my mind at this current point in my life. But like most people, it's crossed my mind once or twice. Good thing I have a brother and a turkey baster as crude as it sounds, if my girlfriend/wife is fertile, it will get the job done. The child will be biologically related to both parents. Now, just need to figure out a way to tell my brother about his task

very off topic but hexr, sehnsucht?

[Sam-]

While this may be something youre okay with, there is a chance your girlfriend will not be.
I would probably opt for a spermn dnonor. Ive had to accept I cant biologically father a child, a sperm donor is the next best thing. Many men are infertile, and I just think of myself like that. Plus, once you actually have the child, not being "biologically related" wont matter anymore.
Id spoken to my girlfriend about freezing eggs and then her using them, and she really did NOT like the idea, and it seems that that is a great potential for women, to have a child inside them that is not related to them at all.
  Plus, if you were to harvest your eggs, you would have to come off T, take other hormones to induce a cycle (or whatever it is thats specifically needed). Plus, it would cost more to harvest eggs, keep them frozen and cared for each year and then to use a sperm donor.

Im not trying to put anyone off who is leaning toward using their eggs, as Id considered it, but its just best to know all that needs to be considered. Plus, if youre having a hysterectomy, you would need to do it before then (I know thats an obvious statement :p, but just incase you are very eager to get your hysto done quick, youll be paying for this process soon and for a long time).

Also, as others have mentioned, adoption is a lengthy and expensive process :/

I know, it was just an idea. I'm not on T nor do I know if/when I would be. And of course I would never do anything my future girlfriend wouldn't be comfortable with. I'm years away from having children, it was just a thought that sounded appealing so I wanted to share. I'm working on becoming okay with the fact that it's highly unlikely that I ever have biological children, or any at all really. It's hard when the two things I want most  are so opposing.

[Cody Jensen]

For Egg "banking", it might not be that expensive, compared to Sperm "banking" which averages an initial $1000.00. I spoke with a major Lab that does egg and sperm "banking", storage, Fairfax Cryobank, and here's the cost for sperm storage;

Pricing:
(some people just do the 1st visit, some want to have a second sample frozen.  It's up to you, we recommend seeing how the first sample looks, then deciding).
Initial (1st) visit:
Consultation $150
Semen analysis/freezing $305
Total with blood drawn offsite $455 **see tests below
*If bloodwork is done at Fairfax Cryobank, there is an additional fee of $135

Additional samples frozen (if desired) $305 each

Storage Fees, once samples are frozen (per account, not per sample):
Monthly $40/month
Prepay 1 year $395
Prepay 2 year $670
Prepay 5 year $1340

Required Blood Tests:
HIV-1 Antibody/HIV-2 Antibody   (cpt code 86703)
Hepatitis B surface Antigen            (cpt code 87340)
Hepatitis C Antibody                          (cpt code 86803)

Fertility Clinics and Local Sperm banks more often contract the long term storage of egg and sperm storage to companies like Fairfax Cryobank, and I was also told there was "paperwork" to fill out including documents pertaining to "custody" of the specimen. All in all I'd say it is cheaper than adoption, but how long do you store it? How long is long enough? One day you stop paying the bill and the sample is removed from storage...

I'm of the thought that others have posted also;

the important things is the child itself.  if you're going to look at a child and think its weird cos it isn't your flesh and blood you're not fit to be a parent.  -lilacwoman

Been married "thrice", no children, no plans to have any of my own at this point, I feel more inclined to help raise another's child, than to have my own.

This was so helpful, a lot of info! Thanks!

[SandraJane]

This was so helpful, a lot of info! Thanks!

Hope so, why do I feel there's a "little" sarcasm in there...somewhere

But retrieving eggs are more involved than sperm;

How much does it cost to freeze eggs?
Extend Fertility's fees can be as low as $200 per month. Clients should be prepared to spend $9,000-$13,000 for one egg freezing treatment cycle which includes standard medical, science and service fees, egg transportation and the first year of storage. Subsequent treatments are priced between $5,000-$9,000.

In addition to these fees, clients should expect to pay $2,500-$4,000 per treatment cycle for medications that are ordered directly from ivpcare, our specialty pharmacy partner, and several hundred dollars in laboratory costs for required infectious disease screening.

Is egg freezing covered by insurance?
Extend Fertility is not aware of the availability of insurance coverage for elective fertility preservation. However, we encourage individuals to contact their insurance provider directly to understand their personal coverage plan and eligibility for reimbursement.

- Retrieved from the Extend Fertility website on December 1, 2011 by SJ

http://www.extendfertility.com/about-egg-freezing.htm

Hmmm...maybe adoption is less expensive and painful....

Thank You Guys for letting me post here, I'm having to deal with this issue prior to starting HRT.

SandraJane

[Electric Wizard]

very off topic but hexr, sehnsucht?

Indeed

[Felix]

I used a sperm donor. I certainly didn't mean to.

[Da Monkey]

I don't see the big deal with a sperm donor. I would not feel weird if my girlfriend was pregnant with donated sperm because that's all it is.

Then again I've talked about using my identical twin's sister's eggs though instead of my girlfriends (she wants to experience pregnancy but doesn't really care if it's biologically hers or not) or having two kids and using one of each since my sister and I are identical it won't be weird since she's not an ordinary sibling.

Either way I was raised by my dad who I found out later in life isn't really my biological father. But that never changed how I feel about him. He stepped up to the responsibilities when my mom told him she was pregnant when he could have said 'they're not mine bitch' and walked out on her but he didn't. He was excited to have kids and has always been my dad.

[Wesley_33]

All in all I think its a bold statement from someone who isn't old enough to be having kids yet to say never use a donor. You have plenty of time later to decide on kids or not and how to go about that. Be young and enjoy it now cause this whole grown up thing sucks at times. Looking back I'm glad I was 25 when I had mine. If you had asked me even at 20 if I wanted kids I would have said hell no. Things change over time. Just be young while you can and don't worry about something thats not going to happen for many many years.

[Cody Jensen]

Hope so, why do I feel there's a "little" sarcasm in there...somewhere

But retrieving eggs are more involved than sperm;

How much does it cost to freeze eggs?
Extend Fertility's fees can be as low as $200 per month. Clients should be prepared to spend $9,000-$13,000 for one egg freezing treatment cycle which includes standard medical, science and service fees, egg transportation and the first year of storage. Subsequent treatments are priced between $5,000-$9,000.

In addition to these fees, clients should expect to pay $2,500-$4,000 per treatment cycle for medications that are ordered directly from ivpcare, our specialty pharmacy partner, and several hundred dollars in laboratory costs for required infectious disease screening.

Is egg freezing covered by insurance?
Extend Fertility is not aware of the availability of insurance coverage for elective fertility preservation. However, we encourage individuals to contact their insurance provider directly to understand their personal coverage plan and eligibility for reimbursement.

- Retrieved from the Extend Fertility website on December 1, 2011 by SJ

http://www.extendfertility.com/about-egg-freezing.htm

Hmmm...maybe adoption is less expensive and painful....

Thank You Guys for letting me post here, I'm having to deal with this issue prior to starting HRT.

SandraJane

? oh sorry I honestly didnt mean to make it sound like there was sarcasm 
I am still considering adoption just letting you all know!