why i will never use a sperm donor

[anibioman]

i would never ever use a sperm donor because it would just suck really bad to have my wife girlfriend or whoever pretty much knocked up by another guy also its expensive. i would much rather adopt a kid. also if i adopt a kid  as aposed to sperm donor baby me and my wife girlfriend whoever will be in the same boat and not be related to our child. i feel it would be weird to have one of us be related to our child also it would suck to have to explain to people and deal with it in my own head that i cant make babies so my kid isnt related to me but he/she/it is related to my wife girlfriend or whoever. im just wondering does anyone share my views?

[~RoadToTrista~]

That's fine, but how does/would your wife/girlfriend feel about this? lolz

[anibioman]

dont have one yet, it would be really weird if i did. most girls my age are not thinking about kids at all. plus its kinda a non negotiable thing for me.

[tekla]

I never had anyone ever ask me or my wife about the parentage of our kids, if you're passing as male, and your GF as female, then everyone just assumes.  Most of the time that information gets out the people will tell you themselves.

And as Romeo Void told us all: Never say never.

[Sam-]

I like the idea of putting one of my eggs inside my girlfriend, along with a random sperm donor, so that way I feel the child is biologically connected to both of us.

[dmx]

Yeah I feel the same way. I plan to adopt one.

[Electric Wizard]

The idea of kids is very far from my mind at this current point in my life. But like most people, it's crossed my mind once or twice. Good thing I have a brother and a turkey baster as crude as it sounds, if my girlfriend/wife is fertile, it will get the job done. The child will be biologically related to both parents. Now, just need to figure out a way to tell my brother about his task

[Sharky]

I've thought about this. It does bother me that another man's sperm is impregnating my wife, but I figure I will get over it. At least it's half my wife.

[rexyrex]

i probly would adopt as there is so many kids out there need a home, if me and my gf agrees with it. but i dont plan to yet as i dont have a gf, if i do then we might pends on how she feels or think about it.

[~RoadToTrista~]

plus its kinda a non negotiable thing for me.

Me too. If I was your wife, I'd be very inclined to just do it anyway and hope you adjust. >.< I think about it a lot more than most girls, and if I have a working uterus, I'm gonna use it, lolz

[lilacwoman]

the important things is the child itself.  if you're going to look at a child and think its weird cos it isn't your flesh and blood you're not fit to be a parent.

[Aussie Jay]

I would prefer a sperm donor. It's a biological fact that I don't produce sperm and by the time I get around to having kids (and that's a maybe at this stage) I will no longer be producing eggs either.. Adoption is an option but I personally like the thought of taking the whole journey (pregnancy, cravings etc) with my wife. As for the brother thing - I couldn't do it. I could not look at him and my son/daughter in the same room knowing that he was his/her biological father. I'd rather not know as with a sperm donor etc...

As someone above said - the most important thing is a happy, healthy child! And at the end of the day any idiot with sperm can make a baby.. It takes a real man to be a father. To teach, love and support your child is the real reward once they're here - it's not overly important to me how that came about. Also FWIW from some of the conversations I've had if a woman is able, most prefer to experience carrying a child etc.

Don't write anything off when your young mate.. Your views will change many, many times before you're ready and at the point of having children!

[Nygeel]

Getting sperm costs more than an adoption?

[Sharky]

Getting sperm costs more than an adoption?

Pretty sure adoption costs more. It's also a really hard process.

[emil]

so many people who think of adoption as such a blessing have never looked into the whole process. as a trans person, it's not all that likely you qualify at all (unless you'll choose to adopt a special needs child, where it seems authorities won't be too "choosy"). So that leaves you with adopting a special needs child, where the process is comparably cheap, but your other expenses may be really high. Or foreign adoption, and we're talking tens of thousands here.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to say if you can't afford 30000 for an adoption or can't afford making your home barrier-free, you're not fit to be a parent...

It's a good thing it's everyone's own decision and you can choose what's right for you. I just don't like the taste of the phrase "my girlfriend knocked up by another guy". That kinda reeks of marking imaginary territory to me....and making others feel bad because they do choose a donor.

[Natkat]

i would never ever use a sperm donor because it would just suck really bad to have my wife girlfriend or whoever pretty much knocked up by another guy also its expensive. i would much rather adopt a kid. also if i adopt a kid  as aposed to sperm donor baby me and my wife girlfriend whoever will be in the same boat and not be related to our child. i feel it would be weird to have one of us be related to our child also it would suck to have to explain to people and deal with it in my own head that i cant make babies so my kid isnt related to me but he/she/it is related to my wife girlfriend or whoever. im just wondering does anyone share my views?

transgender here cant adopt,
but if I where in your situation then donating or adoption would be fine for me either way.
I know many people who are adopted and never really thought it twice.

[Wesley_33]

my girlfriend knocked up by another guy

I wonder how you feel about dating someone with a child? Its really no different. It is someone elses bio child but that isn't what makes you a parent. Loving and caring for a child is what makes a parent.

[Ayden]

I had never really thought about it. I suppose if I wanted kids, I would adopt. But really, that is because I think there are way too many kids without homes.

But it's kinda moot since I don't want kids at all.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Getting sperm costs more than an adoption?

Definitely not.  That part made me lol.  Plus you have to go through all kinds of background checks to adopt.

[Berserk]

OP just sounds like territorial machismo to me. Quite a few people have already addressed it, though.

Don't really plan on having or adopting kids, but I don't think I'd care either way.

Ultimately, though, a day will come when transmen and women will be able to have their own children without using the reproductive system they were born with. The technology to create sperm from AFAB stem cells and eggs from AMAB stem cells is there, it just needs more funding.