Quote from: jdinatale on December 03, 2011, 03:36:39 PMI realized at 18 that I had a huge problem and I began seeing a psychiatrist. He determined that I had autogynophilia (->-bleeped-<-).
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I tried testosterone replacement therapy
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I've always been on over 20 different anti-depressants/anxiety/sleeping pills in the past 2 years, but none of it has helped my ->-bleeped-<-.
Problem here. He diagnoses you as an autogynephile. Very well, I guess such a thing exists. But first, ->-bleeped-<- does not exclude the possibility of transsexualism, and second... Testosterone therapy was pretty much the worse idea that psychiatrist could choose. About equivalent to making a depressed individual see images of death and destruction.
And then he tries a huge bunch of antidepressants without looking at the cause.
This leads me to believe that psychiatrist's competence should be questioned.
Quote from: jdinatale on December 03, 2011, 03:36:39 PM
Here is my happiness scale to help explain the situation:
-Happiness as an unpassable, unattractive female: 1-4 / 10
-Happiness as jdinatale now: 5-7 / 10
-Happiness as a passable woman: 7-8 / 10
-Happiness as an attractive passable woman: 10/10
Here is a point you should reflect on. If being an unpassable woman is inferior to being male, and being male about equivalent to being passable but not attractive, you should really reflect upon this. Do you want to be a woman, or to be sexy? For transition to be a good idea, for me, it's a given that being a passable woman has to be NOTABLY superiorto staying as is, and being an unpassable woman should at least not hurt happiness that much.
Also, please know that sexual reasons are never good reasons to transition. They are not a counterindication or anything, but you have to have NOTABLE reasons aside it for transition to be a good idea.
You need to know that no matter how you end up in the end, transition always includes months, or even years, of uncomfort related to the "in-between" phase. Can you do with this?
Also, even super feminine-looking guys can end up not passing at all if they get very unlucky. And even with the greatest surgeon, even though it usually goes well, sexual function is not guaranteed.
After all of these warnings, are you still sure you are a transsexual and that you want to transition? And after a couple of months, there's no going back. There are way too many cases of people who were not transsexuals who transitioned, and ended up being unhappy, or even committing suicide. ->-bleeped-<- is one thing, but it alone does not justify transition. If you're not sure, then you should try some more psychologists, because transition will probably not help you. In the opposite case, well, go for it.
Now... Sorry for being so negative, but your case looks like one worth questioning.
Answering your question now. Even though 20 isn't the optimal age, most people transitioning at that age - which is still considered young - end up looking 100% passable. Your face is quite cute-ish, your masculine features don't look all that prominent, you're quite thin, and you're not THAT tall... Your shoulders aren't really broad, either, if you remove the well-trained muscles. If you transition and stop that muscular training, I'm confident that you will pass, and probably be attractive.
