Question: How many people here are successful actresses, musicians, models, or any of the things I listed? How many of you folks actually have an attractive boyfriend (fit body, confident personality, symmetrical face)? How many of you haven't been picked on in the last year, haven't been called a man by some skateboarding kid walking down the block?
Quite frankly, I'm certainly the one dreaming, and I'm certainly the one who believes I'll achieve something much bigger than anything on this forum because I'm just not going to give up on what I know is right for me. And also, anyone who says that being 50 or 60 is the same as being 20 is truly incorrect; girls look so much different (and softer, girlier, and younger) at age 20, and they also go to college at that age and it all puts more emphasis on looking like that if you are a 20 year old MTF. At 50 and 60, menopause and pregnancy and being fat and haggard makes MANY natal elderly women look very manly, which puts MUCH less pressure on the MTF's who are that age....especially when those MTF's are way too old to try for the careers I'm trying for. Not saying that there aren't middle aged women who are stunningly beautiful (both natal and MTF), but there's certainly much less pressure out there IMO - my own mother even looks just like a man! Stick any middle aged MTF in a room with her and they'll feel great about themselves!
(^I know there's HUNDREDS of pressures even on age 40+ Transwomen, I'm truly just exaggerating when I say there's none, but if there's hundreds of pressures on older Transwomen, there's THOUSANDS on young Transwomen.)
Hate to be blunt, but it's the truth. Sure, many people here are happy with their lives, and like I've said many times before, I'm sure those lives are very.... low-key... and that is not something I'm looking for in life, I find it boring merely to be a woman and absolutely nothing else. Even just being attractive is better than not being anyone at all. Some of the people here are so one-sided and "I'm a real MTF because I only care about having a vagina and nothing else." that I don't blame folks for considering this to be a mental disorder. REAL people, REAL women, care about more in life than genitalia or wearing a dress, and its why natal women get more plastic surgery than MTF's could ever dream of, 95% of the patients I've counseled are straight, natal women. Natal women get bullied for being manly, at my age, just as much as MTF's do, and it's why teenagers are getting plastic surgery by the dozens. This isn't 1975, some of the ugliest people are becoming physically attractive by a surgeon's knife, thus even opening the way for possibilities into media careers if that person wants, where just decacdes ago, it would have been entirely impossible unless a revolution in the media happened where everyone started loving huge noses and prominent big forheads and balding and acne and all that.
I mean, I'm not being super critical about my looks, I believe my before and after shows a picture that is revolutional, yet is by technicalities and surgical changes actually conservative, and I only want 2 surgical procedures done, 3 max. Certainly isn't anything odd for today's MTF. And hormones won't do a thing beyond tightening up my chin (may knock off the need for facial fillers in my chin) and may by tiny proportions change my nose, and clear up the oil and acne. It WILL make me a bit more confident, but not fully. Problem is, it'll put off my surgeries for like 2 years, and I just can't have that.
