Susan's Place: 30 years of community, powered by people who believe transgender voices matter.
Started by Kate Thomas, March 11, 2007, 06:05:43 PM
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QuoteOne wall of their living room was filled with full-length mirrors. Donna led Steve toward them. "I was laughing. He was Halloween, a masquerade," Donna says.Steve stared at himself for a long time. He says he didn't even see his shoes, the dress, the wig. He was looking into his own eyes. He couldn't believe that after all these years, he was seeing Susan."This person I'd been running from was right there, staring back at me in the mirror," he says. "I knew once she was out I couldn't put her back in again."Watching her husband watch himself, Donna felt sick. "It wasn't funny to him," she says, her voice catching. "He was connecting with that image and it frightened me. I think he said something like, 'So there she is!' "After midnight, still in makeup, Steve opened his journal. On Jan. 19, 1998, he wrote the first entry in Susan's voice."Well, finally I'm free to see the world as I am. To look in the mirror and see my own image. I have protected him for so many years, waiting for my chance to see the world as he does. ... I'm the softness in his heart and the caring in his mind. I have comforted him when he feels alone and protected him from rejection, from hurt. I've always been with him. And he's always been with me. For so many years, I've cried out in his sleep to be whole, to express my femininity while he expressed his maleness. I promise to act as one. I can make him a fuller person. But I am real. And I need light, no less than he does ..."
