Ok, so, I have this ex who we shall name Brandon who I dated when I was a gay man 2 years ago. Needless to say, it was a stormy and dramatic relationship. He was Dr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyl, especially when he was drunk. He drove me to tears many times with his barrage of verbal abuse. However, he had an incredibly sensistive and soft side that I loved. Also, I found him very attractive physically and very intelligent. Plus he was deaf and knew ASL as well, so that was a big boon.
It was a long distance thing, also... because we met while I was in Rochester in graduate school and I interned in San Francisco; he was living in San Diego that time. So during the 2 month internship, we had a long distance thing going on between San Diego and San San Francisco. Then when I had to go back to Rochester, it became a coast-to-coast long distance thing.
Then surprise ! I got hired for my job where I interned in San Francisco after I graduated. I was thrilled to no end. I packed up and took a road trip to California, and stopped by San Diego to visit Brandon.
Guess what? Brandon brought home a guy when he was drunk and we were at a bar. I ended up sleeping with his friend who I barely had met and knew as revenge because I was drunk and upset that he would do this to me after I had gone all way from Rochester. It was the final straw after all the ups and downs with Brandon.
Then in the very early morning, I packed up and hit the road to San Francisco without saying good-bye. I cut off all our texting messages. I deleted him from Facebook and thought it was over and finished. That was 2 years ago.
I finally came out as transgender last year. then... wham!
I found out that Brandon moved to San Francisco last year. Of course I was infuritated to hear that - I had thought he was out of my life for good. Somehow I never ran into him at the gay bars for months, until we finally ran into each other last spring. It was very awkward and he finally saw me in woman mode. We barely said hi.
We saw each other few times afte rthat but I always made sure to keep it brief and impersonal. Then yesterday I ran into him again when I was out with friends at Castro during the day. We ended up having a talk after few alcoholic drinks.
To sum it up - he apologized profusely for his behavior and how he treated me in San Diego, and he said when he moved to San Francisco (Because of a job and a now-broken-up-with boyfriend), he was hoping that he would run into me and he had heard that I was changing into a woman. He said I was very beautiful and I told him I was on hormones already. I asked him if he liked me now or in the past, since he was gay.
To my surprise, he said he liked me better now because I looked happier and prettier as a woman than I was "cute" as a man.
To my double surprise, he wanted to rekindle it with me. I was very floored. I told him I needed time to think it over as I was too buzzed. We ended up ahnging out together all evening with our friends boozing it up.
So... now I have a dilemma and I was hoping some of you might have advice..
