Amalina, I can relate to almost everything you stated except I'm 42. But, I was where you are now in my early 30's. I could never have imagined even telling my best friend of 16 years but I told him last year and we had been friends for 26 years by then. He was a little shocked but gave me a hug and said he would be there for me no matter what.
I couldn't imagine talking to a therapist or a doctor but guess what? Early this year I sat in a therapist office and I told her every deep dark secret that I would have killed or died for to protect. Not long after hat, I was sitting in a doctors office talking to him about it and thinking, "I can't believe I'm really doing this"! So far, I have told about 6 people and they have all taken it pretty well. Maybe things will change more with them in the future as things get more "real" but I figure that those worth keeping will still be there.
So what was the change? Did I finally get brave enough to start this? No. Nothing very inspirational really. It was just the simple fact that the GID has an erosional effect and seems to get stronger as we get older. So how did I get over those hurdles that I previously thought impossible? I was pushed and you very well me be pushed too. I'd encourage you to give serious thought to all of this and find a therapist that SPECIALIZES in GID. They will loose their license if they spill your secret and if they specialize in GID, they are going to be understanding and sympathetic to what you are dealing with.
