So... what is the big deal if people like you because you are "trans"?

[Hannah]

What am I in denial about?

If you mean what ->-bleeped-<-s are in denial about, I'm willing to bet the majority of them are closeted gays. What motives would a regular straight guy have to want to date/bang a transgirl? Straight guys are straight because they like vaginas, I can't honestly say that a straight guy who likes penis is straight, regardless of who it belongs to.

I mean I think the guys are straight to a certain degree especially if they "didn't know she was trans" LOL. My b/f loves to play with my penis anyways...he's about as straight as they cum. LOL

It's a lot different if a guy is attracted to you and you hit it off prior to him knowing. I was more referring to the guys who specifically seek out transgirls. I originally went with ->-bleeped-<-s to avoid having to tell a straight guy after dating for a while that I'm trans, but I'm starting to think that just dating straight guys and coming out later would work out better than trying to deal with ->-bleeped-<-s.

Luckily in my case I'm bi, so dating women is always an option.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

I guess for some trans-women, as the saying goes "Beggars can't be choosers!" In other words if one is desperate to prove their 'womanliness' [which for some is measured by the amount of male attention they receive], then a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-, a ->-bleeped-<- admirer, a MR straight [comfortable in their own skin] guy  will do... [more or less anything in trousers that resembles a male]... OK I'm being a bit tongue in cheek here  , but there is an element of truth to it-there always is !

But in the long run whatever rocks ones boat, just so long as one finds happiness and in doing so does not harm others !

Metta Zenda  

[Mahsa Tezani]

Luckily in my case I'm bi, so dating women is always an option.

I've never had a serious relationship with a woman. I certainly have the power to do so now...

But as for men... I certainly dated a lot of the men in the past year who persued me because they thought I was a natural girl and I am glad to be rejected because they learned I wasn't one.

I give my ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- friends a boner once in awhile...But I am far from a fetish object.

[Lily]

If you mean what ->-bleeped-<-s are in denial about, I'm willing to bet the majority of them are closeted gays. What motives would a regular straight guy have to want to date/bang a transgirl? Straight guys are straight because they like vaginas, I can't honestly say that a straight guy who likes penis is straight, regardless of who it belongs to.

No, I am asking about myself.

I like transgirls. Am I secretly straight because I'm not grossed out by penises?

[Emi]

i found so contradictory  or at least ironic when  a trans woman say " a man that like a penis no matter what is attached to it" is gay and like  men, while at same time postulate "i am a woman no matter if i have cock, have a cock not mean by a man"

but well, i know that all this issue is  to muh coplex and  hard to  explain some times

[Hannah]

i found so contradictory  or at least ironic when  a trans woman say " a man that like a penis no matter what is attached to it" is gay and like  men, while at same time postulate "i am a woman no matter if i have cock, have a cock not mean by a man"

but well, i know that all this issue is  to muh coplex and  hard to  explain some times

I never claim to be a woman. I present myself how I feel comfortable, and I'm open about who I am to pretty much everyone. Their opinions are theirs.

EDIT: I guess that was kind of vague. It basically comes down to being someones fetish. I like people who like me for who I am, meaning the total package (no pun intended). I don't have any problems with bi guys and girls, most of the ones I've met can get over me being trans and date me for being me. But being used by some guy who can't deal with his sexuality? No thanks. (which answers the original question as to why it's a problem that people like me because I'm trans).

[Emi]

Well, i will not be whit a trans woman only because she have a penis...but  i can  enjoy a penis as i enjoy a vagina...but i really feel a bit upset when someone say me "you like men jut because  you like penis" when actually  i dont like men..and i am the first to admitt..that i try xD

I dont care if i got the "bisexual" label...is ok and i can live whit that...but yes start to bother me when people thoug that i will be interested in see that "hot  guy" or  anithign like that while i am only interest in people whit boobs, and clock shape, and cute / femme  faces ... no matters if have penis or vagina.

But i can understand your point too. Jut be a fetish is not nice...but is hard  notice  and  separete who see you as a fetish and who just have  "like you more because you are.."

For example....you can got a fetish for fat people...or you can just feel more atracted  for fat people because you  find they more beuty...botsh  can be confused one whit the other..but are  far different things...
The same is true whit Transexual people..as far a transexuality is just another human condition  or feature like be blonde, blind, white, fat, diabetic, intersex, etc etc etc

[Butterflyhugs]

This video may be very educational for people like Hannah: The eroticization of M2F transsexuals by straight men

While Nina takes a fetish-type approach to explaining the attraction, which I don't believe applies in every case, she illustrates remarkably well why men who like transsexuals are not actually "closeted gays." Orientation/attraction is way more dependent on overall gender presentation rather than strictly genitalia that you only see in bed anyway.

[Assoluta]

This video may be very educational for people like Hannah: The eroticization of M2F transsexuals by straight men

While Nina takes a fetish-type approach to explaining the attraction, which I don't believe applies in every case, she illustrates remarkably well why men who like transsexuals are not actually "closeted gays." Orientation/attraction is way more dependent on overall gender presentation rather than strictly genitalia that you only see in bed anyway.

Exactly. When I was pre-op, some people suggested that I could have a relationship with a gay man, to which I replied "Excuse me!?" as attraction to men is far more than attraction to the penis alone - it's the whole, ahem, "package"...

[eli77]

Nina is awesome. <3

[Bishounen]

Regarding what Nina said, I suddenly came to wonder how it comes that there truly are no "out" ->-bleeped-<-lovers?
I mean, there are proud and out gays, proud and out bisexuals, proud and out transgenders, ->-bleeped-<-s, transsexuals and a row of other varianted people, but no out and proud ->-bleeped-<-lovers.

This is something I have actually often found very hard to digest about them, as so many of them views transpeople as a "dirty secret".
But what is so bad about liking ->-bleeped-<-s, exactly? I mean, they are really just a combination of males and females or some other version of those, so what is so shameful about it?
I mean, you cannot say that; "Oh but it's so against the norm" or; "It's because it is so controversial", because it is not, and especially not in these days.
So why is it, exactly?

[Hannah]

Regarding what Nina said, I suddenly came to wonder how it comes that there truly are no "out" ->-bleeped-<-lovers?
I mean, there are proud and out gays, proud and out bisexuals, proud and out transgenders, ->-bleeped-<-s, transsexuals and a row of other varianted people, but no out and proud ->-bleeped-<-lovers.

This is something I have actually often found very hard to digest about them, as so many of them views transpeople as a "dirty secret".
But what is so bad about liking ->-bleeped-<-s, exactly? I mean, they are really just a combination of males and females or some other version of those, so what is so shameful about it?
I mean, you cannot say that; "Oh but it's so against the norm" or; "It's because it is so controversial", because it is not, and especially not in these days.
So why is it, exactly?

This is something I was going to mention but totally forgot.

Most guys wouldn't be ashamed to show their girlfriend to friends and family if she was blond, brunette, fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, etc. In this regard, being trans is nothing at all like being blond or fat.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Regarding what Nina said, I suddenly came to wonder how it comes that there truly are no "out" ->-bleeped-<-lovers?
I mean, there are proud and out gays, proud and out bisexuals, proud and out transgenders, ->-bleeped-<-s, transsexuals and a row of other varianted people, but no out and proud ->-bleeped-<-lovers.

This is something I have actually often found very hard to digest about them, as so many of them views transpeople as a "dirty secret".
But what is so bad about liking ->-bleeped-<-s, exactly? I mean, they are really just a combination of males and females or some other version of those, so what is so shameful about it?
I mean, you cannot say that; "Oh but it's so against the norm" or; "It's because it is so controversial", because it is not, and especially not in these days.
So why is it, exactly?

How do you explain that the woman your dating is trans to your family? People just don't get it.

[MsDazzler]

How do you explain that the woman your dating is trans to your family? People just don't get it.

Yeah... the man will have to cope with statements like "are you gay???"

[Bishounen]

How do you explain that the woman your dating is trans to your family? People just don't get it.

That she is trans, perhaps? Or that she was born a male?
Or as Nikki Exxotika's fully straight boyfriend bluntly worded it when he and Nikki would reveal her status for his unknowing brother;

She was born a dude, man "- "Could you imagine? Isn't she like the hottest chick on the planet?

(Really wish I could post that clip here, by the way, but she pulled it ).
Anyway, what is there that is so special about it to fuss about?

That is another thing, by the way, that the family of someone dating a transgendered person, is actually very often fully accepting about it.
Which is just another reason for why it is so strange that ->-bleeped-<-lovers often sees it as such a big deal. For it is usually the ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<-s that have those issues, not the average bi or straight guy that all of the sudden happen to fall for a transsexual out of the blue, for those ones usually have no problem being open with it, but it is those that specifically chases ->-bleeped-<-s, that makes the biggest deal about it.

[MsDazzler]

That is another thing, by the way, that the family of someone dating a transgendered person, is actually very often fully accepting about it.
Which is just another reason for why it is so strange that ->-bleeped-<-lovers often sees it as such a big deal. For it is usually the ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<-s that have those issues, not the average bi or straight guy that all of the sudden happen to fall for a transsexual out of the blue, for those ones usually have no problem being open with it, but it is those that specifically chases ->-bleeped-<-s, that makes the biggest deal about it.

yeah... they re projecting their own fears, shame, and insecurities on their family members.... building up this huge picture of rejection in their minds before they even have approached the issue with their family members.

[Butterflyhugs]

Yea in my experience they don't like others to know because they're afraid that people will think they're gay (when they clearly aren't). It's more about being worried other people will not accept them accepting you, rather than them not accepting you.

That being said, when my bf's mom found out that I was trans, he was mortified and she was like "That's so cool!"

[Emi]

Yea in my experience they don't like others to know because they're afraid that people will think they're gay (when they clearly aren't). It's more about other people not accepting them accepting you, rather than them not accepting you.

in other words they are coward only following his penis...
Sorry...i hate that kind of men.. i feel so upset looking at the thousan of men that hit in my gril friend´s contact pages knowing what they only  want a secret relation....or only sex...i cant help myself to want crush their heads xDDDD

[MsDazzler]

in other words they are coward only following his penis...
Sorry...i hate that kind of men.. i feel so upset looking at the thousan of men that hit in my gril friend´s contact pages knowing what they only  want a secret relation....or only sex...i cant help myself to want crush their heads xDDDD

ooo, you are a protective guy - I think that is sexy!

Yeah, if the man had his way, the TG/TS woman would be the mistress on the side, hidden in the shadows while he is pretending to live a normal day to day life and has a token wife to present to his family when family pictures are needed.

[Mahsa Tezani]

ooo, you are a protective guy - I think that is sexy!

Yeah, if the man had his way, the TG/TS woman would be the mistress on the side, hidden in the shadows while he is pretending to live a normal day to day life and has a token wife to present to his family when family pictures are needed.

Every other guy out there is awesome...except the married I am with.

shhhhhh I am a secret LOL