Quote from: Sephirah on June 20, 2012, 01:06:04 AMI don't think that feeling one's sense of self being questioned is a result of those we perceive as displaying the traits which lead us to question; rather an uncertainty which arises from our own tendency to construct who we are based a lot on who others are, and how we see things in others which we then apply to ourselves. And once that tendency is understood for what it is, maybe a lot of these issues will disappear. When an awareness is reached beyond the acceptance that someone could identify differently to ourselves, and into an understanding that our own identity is not dependent upon the similarities and differences in order to exist in its own right... then we can begin to see people with fresh eyes, and start to appreciate the diversity in identity and the way that manifests in those around us.
One of the first and best pieces of advice I was given when I joined this forum, was something to the effect of:
Be careful that you don't become what you read.
It's very easy to agree and to also join in the disagreements of any group or even an individual.
There are those who adhere to 'popular' thinking within their own selected groups.
If that works for you to be defined by group thinking, then fine. It works for you, to help you find definition for yourself.
In this Androgyn section of the '*misguided* children' under the Transgender umbrella, the diversity can be overwhelming.
This doesn't present a problem, in fact it lends itself to an understanding that none of us can conform to a 'known'.
Transsexuals have a beginning and an end destination. There is a physical transition period that most will go through.
It's during this period that they may experience what it is to be Non-binary for awhile. To what degree, who knows.
But to experience something is different than being that something.
The same thing holds true for some Non-binaries who do go through some form of physical transformation.
These are both glimmers into another world for most, if not all of us, as Trans* People.
They are two separate things though. What defines this separation is the end results.
There are genders that don't follow the rules of binary. They don't have the same destination.
They don't come from the same beginnings.
The awareness of these possibilities is the beginnings of a real awareness of one's self as a gender.
Whatever that gender may be. There are no hardfast rules to gender. Not even for Cisgender People.
Questions about someones gender is legitimate. Questioning someones gender, isn't.
(I'm as guilty as the next, it's a relexive defense I suppose)
The game is played on a different field here, as it is elsewhere. It's about perspective. Nothing more.
It's losing your perspective, becoming what you read, that creates the hostility, the real point of this topic.
In becoming what you read, as opposed to using the parts that apply, you create a sameness of yourself with others.
The danger of hostility arise's when you believe a group is behind you in your thinking and statements.
I was mildly surprised that this topic was allowed. It was also surprisingly open and reasonable, to a point.
It has degraded somewhat to opposing perspectives. It became personal.
Sephirah has made this point in an eloquent manner.
The advice about being careful that you don't become what you read holds true.
If you do, you shouldn't expect that others have done the same, as you have.
It's a damn shame when that happens.
Ativan
