What Made You Laugh Today ?

[Kimberley Beauregard]

We do have a 'Bad Jokes' thread ya know

I do apologize, slight mental relapse.

[V M]

LOL, I help an elderly lady to lock up the apt. complex at night and we generally meet up in the lobby and chat a bit

We were talking about having strange dreams when one of the other tenants walks up and begins to accuse us of gossiping about her 'love-life'

Granted, she has given a twirl to just about any and every guy who comes along and we both tend to avoid her, but neither of us could give a care who she is going with each week or so

It was pretty easy to figure, the same person who went gossiping to her is the same one who gossips about her and everyone else

It's amazing how one person stirring the pot can brew up so much trouble 

Anyway, we were both flabbergasted and couldn't help but laugh a bit

That of course pissed her off even more

Oh well...

[LordKAT]

I couldn't figure out how I put on 8 pounds in one day. I thought about all I ate and all the meds I'm missing and figured well, water weight due to swelling legs could be part of it. It still seemed off. I went home and got undressed. While taking off my ankle weights I realized something. I forgot to take them off before I stepped on the scale this time.

Somedays........

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I couldn't figure out how I put on 8 pounds in one day. I thought about all I ate and all the meds I'm missing and figured well, water weight due to swelling legs could be part of it. It still seemed off. I went home and got undressed. While taking off my ankle weights I realized something. I forgot to take them off before I stepped on the scale this time.

Somedays........

That's a good one.

[Umiko]

my deposing lawyers made me laugh today

[Edge]

[Kimberley Beauregard]

So, we learned at work that we can get hold of a signed Adolf Hitler photo.  A colleague sincerely asked us if we were going to punt it at a Help 4 Heroes event.

My sides hurt.

[V M]

Actually been making me laugh for quite awhile - One of my neighbors still sports a mullet and thinks he's lookin' cool    I wanted to tell him that the 70's called and wants their hairstyle back but I didn't want to be mean

[FTMDiaries]

Seeing a video of Take That performing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit.





Oh my stars and garters! Kill it with fire!!!

[dalebert]

This has a lot of cursing so it's NSFW.

[Felix]

We went into a mall to wait in the air conditioning until rush hour was mostly over, and visited the rock store before leaving. They had some stones that looked like what I remembered being advertised as "magic" rocks in the back of magazines when I was little. I commented on them and the salesperson tried to demonstrate their use, but what she actually did was just toss them up to both bounce off her face and roll away under the furniture. It was easy to join her and her associate in laughing at such an impressive display of grace.

Turns out the rocks are magnetic hematite and people like them for the clacking sound they make.

[FTMDiaries]

Apparently, new jeans + packer = a purple penis.

Even though I've washed them, the dye from my new jeans is wearing off through my underwear and has stained my brand-new Mr Limpy a fetching shade of purple. Nice!

[930310]

I laughed out of pain when I slipped in the stairs at my psychologist.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

This comment by user Scary Mike on 5 Ways to Win an Argument (That Will Ruin Your Relationship):

"The key to winning an argument is to cover the other person in gasoline before the fighting actually starts. Now when they start complaining -often because being covered in gasoline severely upset them- you just need to light a match and they'll leave you alone. People hate being on fire, they hate it so bad."

[Umiko]

i tripped over a pebble and a blade of grass! 

[HoneyStrums]

A joke in the wrong thred. thanks to a mental relaps.

[Adam (birkin)]

Buzzfeed has an article of 22 Problems Only Men Will Understand:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/justinabarca/man-problems-yo

One was: hair in all the wrong places. "Just what I needed, a permanent sweater."  I grow my hair in that place too, it sucks.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I was reading the comments section on one site (that I won't mention because it's full of idiots anyway. I just read the comments when I need a good laugh.) One person said that "kids were being peer pressured to socially engineer kids into ignoring their natural disgust toward homosexuality."

I couldn't stop laughing at such a stupid statement.

Since when is bigotry "natural"?

Wow...........

[Lauren5]

Spamalot. Oh god, that's funnier than the original movie

[radsi]

End of the shift at work tonight and one of the boys says to another one "do you want a lift home tonight" he replies with "do you have a car?" haha... not sure whether he was expecting a piggy back home or what but it made me laugh.

Exam time makes poor little students lose the plot they have all been coming out with VERY random things recently (me included).

I also nearly woke the whole street up by typing my pin number into my house alarm instead of the alarm code