OK, it was yesterday, but...
My doctor who is ripping my nads out on Tuesday asked me if I wanted him to get rid of a mole on my nose while he had me under. I asked him if it looked malignant to him, and he said "maybe". I shrugged, pointed to it, and said, "Really, this little thing?"
He said, "No, I didn't notice that one. I was referring to that big one below it."
"Umm, that's a diamond."
I guess I needed to clean my nose stud.