janie.
Really sorry about your son, I know how much you mean to each other. But could you point out to him that your ear lobe shapes remain the same? (I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure the shape itself won't alter and I do know shape is very unique.
I have to say, I'm so pleased at how well you seem and how happy. I recall the videos you once posted of your son and small daughter. That girl is priceless.