You know, I used to feel the same things, but now I've realised I should be proud and make the most of who I am. I am just as much a woman as anyone else, just with different experiences, and these different experiences, including experiencing life socially, hormonally and physically as a male is something genetic women will never fully understand like we do. In fact to many, the male world is more alien to them than it is to us. One guy I knew was attracted to me and didn't know I was trans, but he said there was something different about me - before I might have taken this as a negative comment implying I wasn't "quite" female, but now I take it as a positive - I am different, more unique, and perhaps in certain respects, more interesting than a regular genetic female.
To give an example of how I manifest that - I love to sing. I remember thinking that when I transitioned, I would never be able to sing without sounding like a man, and I'd always try to sing in the highest voice possible to sound female. However, I became inspired by deep voiced singers such as Zarah Leander (video below) and have decided to make the most of my voice and to make it unique and androgynous. I don't sound quite female, and not quite typically male - before I would have perceived this as inadequate, now I'm proud of the fact I don't sound like the regular young female singers these days - in fact I get bored of hearing the same type of voice over and over again.
Here's Zarah Leander, a rare deep voiced contralto singer:
And one of my songs - (Shameless plug, I know, but it gets the point across that we can express ourselves in a way more unique than other women - even if it means not quite looking or sounding as 'female' as we like, we can make the most of our uniqueness and still be secure in an identity as a woman)
