Treatment options for gender dysphoria without transitioning?

[Ultimus]

My gender dysphoria is in opposition with my personal wants and desires. For instance, I want to be a brother, a father, a husband, and a son. I want to be a businessman. I want to be an alpha-male mma cage fighting warrior. I have a strong male identity and I love being entrenched in male culture.

But the gender dysphoria is SO intense at times, almost insurmountable. When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

I thought that gender dysphoria was something I could rid myself of and I tried for 2 years in therapy to do so. I tried making myself even more of an alpha male. If you've read my other posts, you'll know that I tried everything possible to make life work as a man.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

[Bird]

You could go for therapy. I suppose there are ways you could go for to cope with this. The option of not transitioning is open to all of us, and if you are sure its the path for you, go for it!

I can't give you much, because it is not a option I have went for. I can't even tell you for sure if it is possible to not be dysphoric without transitioning. I believe you should seek a psychiatrist or gender therapist who has a lot of experience in the field, and then go from there. There is not much real evidence about this, no large studies have been made as far as I know, and the current medical opinion is that transitioning is the only way to "cure" people from dysphoria.

This doesn't means you can't find ways to cope with it, though. So, as I said, a Gender Therapist or Psychiatrist are good ways to start. You need to be sure what you have is gender dysphoria in the first place, and there are all kinds of issues that pop up when going through this stuff.

There are forum members who were unable to transition completely for various reasons, and I suppose they could go more in depth about this. I have read that to some crossdressing helps with coping, though it could also lead to depression bolts afterwards. It is a very complicated issue, and it can't be possibly solved by forum conversation only.

[mementomori]

After being informed of the revision to the WPATH Standards of Care that was released last year, much to my relief, there are now many options available listed under Section V:

As well as the subsection: Options for Psychological and Medical Treatment of Gender Dysphoria. If you read all of Section V, it might give you an idea of where to start (it's only about two and a quarter pages).

Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People

as it should be people should only " transition" as far as they need to to be comfortable , not fit a sociatile norm on what " gender " should be

[Shantel]

When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

Well you're certainly not alone here as I can relate completely. I began dealing with this years ago, during that time there was nothing but a one size fits all response from gender counselors. I met with similar group think in TG group meetings. Eventually I struck a happy medium and now self identify as an Androgynous being. I'm still very married and the father of two young men as well as a grandfather of a sweet young woman of 13 who is going on nineteen. It takes a lot of work, love and extreme patience to go this route because much of it has to be done incrementally in small steps. Best bet though is to discuss your feelings with a reputable gender therapist. Good luck!

[Didee]

maybe this could help you: http://www.chrisspagani.com/gender/treatment.htm

[Amazon D]

My gender dysphoria is in opposition with my personal wants and desires. For instance, I want to be a brother, a father, a husband, and a son. I want to be a businessman. I want to be an alpha-male mma cage fighting warrior. I have a strong male identity and I love being entrenched in male culture.

But the gender dysphoria is SO intense at times, almost insurmountable. When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

I thought that gender dysphoria was something I could rid myself of and I tried for 2 years in therapy to do so. I tried making myself even more of an alpha male. If you've read my other posts, you'll know that I tried everything possible to make life work as a man.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

Maybe you need to get rid of the male hormones by taking spiranolactone which will block the T.. that will free your mind from T and allow you to think more clearly.. Take time with that.

Myself i transitioned fast and spent everything only to find ot i hated men being attracted to me.. I now dress down and am seen as a FTM by people who seem curious.

Deal with the hormonal issues and give it time and see what happens. You might find out that is all you need..

[Trixie]

I was going to ask something similar to this. I need some way to ease my dysphoria without transitioning. Transitioning is out of the question for me, and completely not worth it. For me. I've detailed the reasons why in the past.

I need relief.

[A]

-Real therapy outside a church.
-Some parts of the physical parts of transition (hromones and/or SRS and/or FFS) without changing social roles.
-Going for a mixed gender identity, which they call "queer".
-Androgyny.
-Crossdressing.
-Going drag at times.
-Subtly wearing female attire, either when not seen or under other clothes.
-Did I mention real therapy?

There's no magical pill, and only a real therapist will probably be able to guide you on the way that's right for you.

[Joelene9]

JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

[luna nyan]

Hello JD,

As Joelene said, there's a lot of good advice above.  I'm in a situation similar to yours.
My personal journey to date:
I had about a year in therapy about 8 years ago.  My psych and I agreed that I was borderline ambivalent, leaning towards transition.  We decided that I should continue to be male, but leave the possibility of doing things later.

In the intervening years, I fulfilled family obligations, and got myself entangled careerwise, socially, and financially.  Had some bad bouts of GID in between (I call it my pink dog), and held on trying to do nothing desperately.  The noise in my head has been pretty much incessant and annoying - a distraction from everything else good that's happening around me.

This year I've decided to try some HRT to try and quieten the noise.  There is the option nowadays to go on low blockers and estrogen to try and settle things down.  I am hoping that low dose HRT will be enough to put my mind at ease.  I am anticipating some physical changes, but going to try and manage it so that I don't really "blossom" so to speak.

[Shantel]

JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

[peky]

Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

I hope you are right, because my "bones" tell me that what is coming is more war, financial depression for the middle class and poor, and a more environmental decay.

I am old, so the brunt of this s... will take place after I am gone, but I do worry for my children. I tried to prepear them for, but it is a daunting challenge.

As for you JD:

Your story and feelings echo in my life. You can be the alpha male and live with a moderate sense of happines, but the dysphoria will never live you alone, as you get old, and contemplate your mortality, the urge to fully transition will become a question of life or death.

Know that just because we abandon the male role, we need not loose any of the alpha privileges and duties. I present as a female but still I am the protector and provider for my children, the mentor for my young colleges, the "rock" in the tempest for my friends and colleagues, and the safe harbor for my SO.

Despite my dress I have retain my high level post in my corporation, with all the pressures and benefits. The only thing that has change is that instead of being the "tough" man, now and I am the "exacting bitch."

Best advice, seek counseling, find a mentor,

[Ultimus]

-Real therapy outside a church.
-Some parts of the physical parts of transition (hromones and/or SRS and/or FFS) without changing social roles.
-Going for a mixed gender identity, which they call "queer".
-Androgyny.
-Crossdressing.
-Going drag at times.
-Subtly wearing female attire, either when not seen or under other clothes.
-Did I mention real therapy?

There's no magical pill, and only a real therapist will probably be able to guide you on the way that's right for you.

JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

I hope you are right, because my "bones" tell me that what is coming is more war, financial depression for the middle class and poor, and a more environmental decay.

I am old, so the brunt of this s... will take place after I am gone, but I do worry for my children. I tried to prepear them for, but it is a daunting challenge.

As for you JD:

Your story and feelings echo in my life. You can be the alpha male and live with a moderate sense of happines, but the dysphoria will never live you alone, as you get old, and contemplate your mortality, the urge to fully transition will become a question of life or death.

Know that just because we abandon the male role, we need not loose any of the alpha privileges and duties. I present as a female but still I am the protector and provider for my children, the mentor for my young colleges, the "rock" in the tempest for my friends and colleagues, and the safe harbor for my SO.

Despite my dress I have retain my high level post in my corporation, with all the pressures and benefits. The only thing that has change is that instead of being the "tough" man, now and I am the "exacting bitch."

Best advice, seek counseling, find a mentor,

Yes, after ignoring the advice for months, I finally started seeing a gender therapist. We only had one appointment so far, but he has me journaling about my feelings. Also, he has me not masturbating or crossdressing for the coming week.

Hopefully we will figure something out!

[Naturally Blonde]

Re: Treatment options for gender dysphoria without transitioning?

1. Stay on low dose HRT
2. Grow your hair long
3. Laser hair removal
4. Dress androgenously

[Amazon D]

Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

Not to take this thread off topic but yes something big is gonna happen soon.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness


The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release March 16, 2012
Executive Order -- National Defense Resources Preparedness
EXECUTIVE ORDER

NATIONAL DEFENSE RESOURCES PREPAREDNESS

[Jenniferinutah]

So its been two years now. Has this Big thing happened and did i miss it? And to Ultimus I hope that you have found Happiness. I am dealing with the same thing right now

[stephaniec]

Not to take this thread off topic but yes something big is gonna happen soon.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness


The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release March 16, 2012
Executive Order -- National Defense Resources Preparedness
EXECUTIVE ORDER

NATIONAL DEFENSE RESOURCES PREPAREDNESS

yes, chemical war ,mutation, zombie birth, then the Rapture not necessarily in this order

[Tori]

Aloha Jennifer and welcome.

FWIW I grew up in the same state as you it sounds like.

Transition is kinda' up to the transitioner. I have not seen Ultimus post in a while.

But, my point is HRT does not POOF! make you a woman. It can do wonders for the mind though.

If you go on Spiro, it will likely drop your libido, and reduce your muscle mass and eventually you would need to take E or go off of Spiro to protect bone mass.

Good luck and do not be a stranger.

Aloha,
Tori

[Alaia]

So its been two years now. Has this Big thing happened and did i miss it? And to Ultimus I hope that you have found Happiness. I am dealing with the same thing right now

Yup, the Mayan calendar ended and the world didn't. 

Nice to see a fellow Utahn here Jennifer. If you want some suggestions then I'd say first start with a therapist that has experience helping clients with gender dysphoria. There is a good list here:
http://utahtransmed.org/counselors/

I tried LDS family services first about 6 years ago. Bounced around to a few different counselors before finding one whom they claimed had experience with trans issues. Turned out she'd helped 15 year old kid briefly. Hardly what I'd call experienced. But the real kicker was she was so biased and projected her own opinions on me to the point where I'd had enough and decided I didn't want anything to do with therapists. I then proceeded to bottle my feelings away and live in misery another 5 years before seeking help again.

Contrast that to the therapist I am seeing now. She was and even still is more than willing to help me live with this without transitioning if that is what I want to do. She doesn't try to push her beliefs and opinions on me. She's just there to listen and help guide me down the path I've chosen and to help me see and overcome the obstacles I may face. That is what a good therapist does.

I feel I should mention that we have a great adult transgender support group that meets at the pride center in SLC. You can come as you are, no one there judges you or projects their opinions on you (it's actually one of our rules that all statements come from an "I, me, my, myself" point of view). More details at the link below:
http://www.utahpridecenter.org/programs/transgender/transgender-adult-group

Anyway, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk privately.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Ultimus,

I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

From how you have expressed your feelings; essentially the answer to both your questions is; No.

You can't get rid of it; it doesn't go away; it can't be mitigated; and there is no "cure". From how you see things, anything other than transition will effectively be denial. Do you want to end up in that endless loop?

Huggs
Catherine