The Dangers of Being a Girly Boy

[Shana A]

Logan Lynn
Singer, songwriter, blogger, and LGBT activist

The Dangers of Being a Girly Boy
Posted: 02/28/2012 3:05 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/logan-lynn/gender-nonconforming-kids_b_1305716.html

A recent study led by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health has found that one in 10 children faces an elevated risk of sexual, physical, and psychological abuse due to gender nonconformity (meaning kids whose interests, pretend play, and activity choices before the age of 11 fall outside the bounds of those typically expressed by their assigned sex). As a result of the abuse, many will suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by young adulthood, which can lead to a smörgåsbord of risky behaviors such as drug abuse, promiscuity, and self-harm, as well as producing physical symptoms such as chronic pain and cardiovascular problems.

Having been born one of these gender-nonconforming kids many years ago, I know firsthand the experience described in the study. These new findings suggest that even if I had not been birthed into a fundamentalist Christian cult, my parents would still have had their work cut out for them with regard to keeping me safe. (I plan to add this new info to my ever-growing parental forgiveness file as soon as I finish writing this.) Sad as it may be, from the moment I took my first breath, I was something of a moving target in this world.

[lilacwoman]

actually there is a lot of research and evidence that childhood rape and sex abuse does predispose a person to TGism plus the is mountains of evidence of little boys sent to seminaries or single sex schools and getting abused do turn into gay focussed TGs while the girls schools turn out lots of lesbians who seek body modification to remove female characteristics and therefore must be regarded as TGs.

[Padma]

In fact, recent research indicates it's much more often the other way round: children with gender issues are more vulnerable to being sexually abused. The consensus in the therapeutic community is that gender issues are not caused by abuse, but rather that they attract it.

Sexual abuse affects people's relationship with their gender and sexuality, but it doesn't affect their actual gender or sexual orientation.

[Felix]

In fact, recent research indicates it's much more often the other way round: children with gender issues are more vulnerable to being sexually abused. The consensus in the therapeutic community is that gender issues are not caused by abuse, but rather that they attract it.

Sexual abuse affects people's relationship with their gender and sexuality, but it doesn't affect their actual gender or sexual orientation.

Yeah I got raped once, but I'm pretty sure that's not what made me gay.

[Cindy]

I was raped while presenting as female. So go figure.

[Padma]

And I was abused by both my parents - but I doubt that's why I'm bisexual, since me and my brother and half-sister all are, so I suspect my father's genes rather than his behaviour.

[Kyyn]

actually there is a lot of research and evidence that childhood rape and sex abuse does predispose a person to TGism plus the is mountains of evidence of little boys sent to seminaries or single sex schools and getting abused do turn into gay focussed TGs while the girls schools turn out lots of lesbians who seek body modification to remove female characteristics and therefore must be regarded as TGs.

Isn't it more likely that, with so many girls/boys in a single sex school, the count of LGBT kids is going to be higher then a unisex school simply because there are more boys/girls and their true personalities haven't been repressed by the influence of social expectations around the opposite sex..? Just a thought, though 

I don't think it's possible to "TURN" someone gay/bi/TG. It's just the way we are.

[dejan160]

I agree that sexuality and the gender are inborn thing and gender non confirming children are more likely to get sexually, mentally and physically abused, but that is not the cause but a direct consequence of the GID.
I am sorry lilacwoman, if the gender non confirmation was caused by social factors why do you transition then? Isn't it safer and better for you to undergo reparative psychotherapy?

[schism]

i'm not really sure how i feel about sexual abuse being used as a marker for gender and sexual orientation.  it's like it makes it dirty and wrong, something to be ashamed of rather than celebrate.  when we've discussed my feelings my mother has repeatedly referred to the rape i experienced, and it seems like it's an attempt to diminish my feelings by placing them on an external source, something that i feel like i recovered from a long time ago.  i'm proud of who i am and excited about my transition.  having a horrible experience framed and emphasised by this personal growth is unreasonable and totally incorrect.  my own experience didn't occur in childhood, but it's the same principle and something that i don't think should even be considered as a possible explanation. 

[Padma]

That's the thing: people who want to ask "Do you think you're trans/gay/bi/etc. because xyz happened to you?" are looking for a behavioural cause because their frame of reference can't cope easily with anything that looks remotely like "Some people are simply like this, just as some people are simply like you." The idea that not-like-the-majority = not-normal is so ingrained in society.