Things I can do before starting HRT

[Freya]

I have my counselor and have started Electrolysis.  I don't plan to start HRT for maybe at least nine months to a year, while I lose weight and reduce my beard.  That being said, if someone were to offer me hormones right now, I would have a really hard time saying, "no".  I am sure there are several things I can work on while I get ready for HRT.

I have s GP appointment next week and will ask for a referral to an endocrinologist to assist with weight loss, a dermatologist to start cleaning up my skin, and massage/chiropractor to start loosening up my very rigid back and hips.  I need to go see a dentist too 

I started eating a lot better, mostly white meat, fruits, and vegetables with minimal carbs.  I try to eat 6 times a day.  I am working out on the elliptical for about an hour 3-5 days a week and doing yoga 2 days a week. Maybe when I say "doing" yoga that is a bit strong.  I am SO tight, there is very little I can do, but I'll keep going anyway.  I can barely cross my ankles, let alone my legs.  I'm hoping to find some stretches that will help me loosen up my legs, probably mostly my hip flexors.

My biggest concern isn't reducing my body fat.  I had a BMI done twice recently and my lean body weight (what I would weigh if I had NO fat) is about 212 lbs.  I'm only 5'11" with a really thick build.  I really want to be able to get smaller, if I am going to transition.

Voice is another thing I can work on too.  I'm looking for some resources I can use so I can start training it.  For now I talk like Mick.. er Minnie Mouse on the drive to work to try and strengthen and get used to my vocals in a higher pitch.

I'm growing my hair long now, it's almost long enough for a pony tail.  Fortunately it is fairly thick and I have a minimal receding hairline I can live with.  It is a premature silver/grey, but fortunately a woman I'll feel comfortable coloring it when that time comes.  In the meantime I do need to learn how to best take care of it.  I'm guessing that just shampooing it once a day won't cut it anymore.

Other than that, I think learning about makeup and feminine deportment I can do along the way, but maybe I can take my time with those since I will be in a very male mode for a while.

If anyone has any other thoughts or ideas I would GREATLY appreciate them.  I do feel like I'm in an avalanche at the moment, but there is sooo much I want to do now that I have accepted that I am going to become a woman.

[Freya]

Beverly thanks so much for the feedback!

Why electrolysis? Do you have red or blonde hair? Laser/IPL is more effective if you have dark hair and you get more results in less time. Electrolysis is needed to finish the jon, but 6 or 7 laser sessions will get most facial hair out.

Most of my beard hair is silver or white.  I am concerned about being noticed at work, when I am nearly a year from starting HRT.  I was thinking Laser might be immediately noticeable???  Transitioning at my job I think is going to be really tough, since I work with some extremely conservative individuals at a very senior military Command.

Why a dermatologist? Do you have skin disease? Many skin complaints can be eliminated with unscented soap, exfoliationg pads or gloves and unscented mosituriser. I use plain soap and exfoliatiing gloves after soaking in the shower for 10 minutes and I rub quite hard to remove all dead or rough skin, then I rinse and do a second light rub and rinse again. You MUST RINSE the soap off. Soap leaves a residue that irritates skin. After the shower I use an unscented mosituriser (E45 in my case) and I rub it in all over. I exfoliate my face and moisturise it with Olay.

I really have never taken care of my skin, thinking I would just be stuck as a male for the rest of my life and not caring enough to do it.  Now that I have decided to transition I am trying to catch up on years with lack of care.  At least I am confident I can do a good job of making up for it.  I do have some acne on my chest/back/neck and I get ingrown hairs on my arms I want to clean up.  I am guessing good habits will help change that pretty quickly, I really do appreciate your advice on skin care.  I will probably have some resurfacing done on my back and neck to minimize some of the scaring I have.

Freya

[Jeneva]

Most of my beard hair is silver or white.  I am concerned about being noticed at work, when I am nearly a year from starting HRT.  I was thinking Laser might be immediately noticeable???  Transitioning at my job I think is going to be really tough, since I work with some extremely conservative individuals at a very senior military Command.

Why does it matter?  If it is a military type environment then everyone likely is very clean shaven, so if asked you can just say you finally got tired of shaving.  My laser tech had a lot of guys get their beards done.  However silver/white is going to be a problem with laser so electrolysis may be a better option.

[Freya]

Why does it matter?  If it is a military type environment then everyone likely is very clean shaven, so if asked you can just say you finally got tired of shaving.  My laser tech had a lot of guys get their beards done.  However silver/white is going to be a problem with laser so electrolysis may be a better option.

It may not matter at all, I am just worried about being noticed early.  At least I do have legal protection at work when I do start to transition.  This just happens to be the part I fear most about transition, I don't expect it to go over very well.

[Jeneva]

It may not matter at all, I am just worried about being noticed early.  At least I do have legal protection at work when I do start to transition.  This just happens to be the part I fear most about transition, I don't expect it to go over very well.

They are guys and today they consider you a guy (they don't know yet).  I really don't think they'll be looking that closely for fear that one of the others call them gay.  And like I said there are a LOT of straight cismales that get their beards lasered around here. 

Another thing I have noticed is that I almost always expect things to be so much worse than it ends up being.

[Freya]

They are guys and today they consider you a guy (they don't know yet).  I really don't think they'll be looking that closely for fear that one of the others call them gay.  And like I said there are a LOT of straight cismales that get their beards lasered around here. 

Another thing I have noticed is that I almost always expect things to be so much worse than it ends up being.

You're probably right, or at least I am counting on it

[Freya]

Beverly,

Thanks for the product suggestions.  I picked several of them up today, including some spearmint tea.  I didn't find any exfoliating gloves, but I at least got a long handled brush I can use on my back where I can't reach anyway.

Freya

[Stephe]

I would seriously focus on voice and give it some serious practice. A good voice can make a huge difference and cover up a lot of "issues" we visually might have. You can look pretty andro but if you have a clearly female voice, that in itself will tip the scales. I paid a local voice therapist for lessons, that also included some body language type stuff as part of it. The interactive nature made this more effective IMHO as she stopped me when I did things wrong and critiqued my voice. DVD's etc can only go so far and you really don't want to spend a lot of time practicing wrong and have to unlearn that or damage your voice. Talking in falsetto is not good practice!

Another good thing to do is go to the mall etc and watch how other women act. How they walk and move, their mannerisms etc. A lot of it is very subtle but there are things most women have in common about how they carry themselves and behave. This is another one of those things that just takes time to learn, born females have been emulating other women from birth.

Basically blending in requires you check off enough "female" boxes to fit your presentation. Some people visually pass so well their mannerisms and voice can be horrible and they still get a pass. IMHO a good voice and mannerisms added to a decently female look are a LOT easier to accomplish than pulling off a 100% no questions asked female appearance and ignoring these other points. I think it's a mistake to just focus on appearance and ignore everything else.

[Freya]

Stephe,

That's great advice!  I did download Kathe Perez' audio lessons to my phone and then listened/practiced while I was on a long drive.  My concern was immediate, that I would like to ensure that I get some help in determining my ideal pitch.  The lesson also required that I have a tuning device to measure/monitor my pitch as I go.  I'm wondering if I can find an App for that.  Either way I will try and find someone local here and at least get a consultation.

I do live with my teenage daughters, but I don't think I want to pick up the deportment of young adult women.  So I'll look around elsewhere, like the mall as you suggested.

Freya

[Cindy]

Hi Freya,

Good to see you posting.

One thing that Jeneva said is very true, people don't notice much. I was terrified of getting ears pierced. I had small studs put in each ear lobe. No one said anything. I now roytinely in guy mode wear half inch gold hoops, I've had a second set of piercings in each ear and I wear 'dangly' ear rings with a cute stone in them. And that is when I'm pretending to be a guy. I also wear woman's trousers and women's shirts and no one has said anything.

It would be worthwhile having a patch test for laser. As Beverly said it can cover a large area quickly and reduce what you need for electro. As an example I've had 6-8 laser sessions over about 12 months and that reduced my dark hair so that I basically don't shave. My upper lip does grow back and I had it re-zapped last week, the previous session was in the beginning of November!! The catch up session took 10 mins. Good laser people, and electro. people also give you a lot of advice on your skin care.

Stephe is spot on about voice. It is what gives us away.

The other big thing is attitude and confidence. I don't give a snow ball what people think about me, and it shows because people accept me and respect me. I'm confident. I have no issues anymore in walking into a female clothes shop and picking up clothes and asking to try them on. No matter how I'm presenting. I have never been refused or laughed at. I have had shop assistants come to the cubicle and ask if I need a different size, which is common policy in woman's shops.  You don't want the customer to keep getting dressed and undressed to try on another item. I've also often had the assistant come up and tell me they have found a great top to go with the skirt I'm trying on etc.

Confidence is a big key and you have to practice it. Woman come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but they expect to be treated as woman in a normal society. So should you,

Hugs

Cindy

[Freya]

Thanks Cindy,

This is so awesome to get this much focused advice!  I already am feeling much better and more supported with my journey.

I don't intend to go out en-femme for a while yet.  I'd end up wearing a tent to do it.  The good news is that exercise and eating healthier has already allowed me to lose an inch in the waist and over 15 pounds in the past 2 weeks.  Normally I would assume the initial loss is due to water loss, but I have been on a water pill that seemed to have taken care of that already.  I am in the gym nearly every day for no less than an hour doing fat/cardio burn.  The possibility of transitioning has turned into the best motivator ever to work out.  When I lose about 5 more inches on my waist, it will be 2 inches smaller than my bubble-butt, which doesn't really have any fat on it (if only it came with wider hips too)   I'd still be wearing a size 26 or so at that point.

I love the idea of being able to wear women's slacks or jeans, once my waist becomes smaller than my hips.  For now shopping online is easy enough, but I have put that on hold while I am losing weight.  Wearing real earrings would be just awesome, one more change to bring me closer to where I want to be.  I'll probably wait on earrings until I think I am ready to start going out en-femme.  You're absolutely right about confidence I am sure.  I just don't feel I am ready to be that confident until I have finished some things that will allow me to present myself the way I want to be.

I may be woefully wrong, but I think I can already at least emulate a female voice for period of time.  I think I better get a professional opinion before I hold to that thought.

I'll do some research on laser beard removal here.  I know there are a couple places that do it in some very upscale neighborhoods here.  Hopefully I can find another that is reasonable priced and preferably Trans-friendly.

[Cindy]

Good on you Freya,
I work out at a gym 3 times a week and have largely transitioned at the gym. The people have been great. The guys help me put weights on the machines as they do for the other woman. I have lost upper body strength from HRT. I did get one newbie insulting me and two of the biggest guys took him away and sat down and talked to him, he hasn't been back, at least when I'm present.

These people do not know me personally. We just say Hi, for some reason they recognise me .

You also have to realise that this isn't a race. We all go at our own pace. Some are limited by money, or career, or family or anything. We do our transition as we feel comfortable. What one person feels comfy with, another may not.

Getting my ears pierced was for me a massive confidence builder.

The voice stuff is what it is. I, no doubt to your utter amazement,  don't care. I talk, I try to modulate my voice but I have a 'male' voice.  How someone responds to it is not my problem. In the place and suburbs I live in I'm known as Cindy. Which is pretty good because that is who I am. Why so many people recognise me, I'm not sure. But I don't care, it can take hours to do my shopping, people want to talk and chat. I like to talk and chat, I'm now in the 'you remember my sister's son Paul had the accident with the blahl blah well his best friend blah blah.'

And it is nice. I get to see the pics of the grandchild. I even get to hold them. The grand kid

It is nice.

There is a point in this journey when we start to feel normal. That is when we move on again.
Hugs

Cindy

But take your own time.

[Stephe]

The lesson also required that I have a tuning device to measure/monitor my pitch as I go.  I'm wondering if I can find an App for that. 

Try 'sing and see', 30 day free trial. I ended up buying the student version. It helped me a lot.

[Freya]

Cindy,

That's really great you are confident and comfortable with your expectations.  I can't wait to get to the same point where I am comfortable presenting myself as a woman in a gym!

Stephe,

Try 'sing and see', 30 day free trial. I ended up buying the student version. It helped me a lot.

I'll have a look at "Sing and See."  And BTW I did find a voice tuner App, Cleartune.  Now I just gotta figure out how it all works

I am really excited at this point to be working on things already.  Tonight I moisturized with a feminine product, Olay for the first time. maybe wishful thinking, but I'd swear I feel a difference.
Hurray for small victories

Freya

[Jayne]

Try to pop into a clothes shop each week to buy just one item, it may seem to take ages but you will eventualy build up a decent wardrobe without noticing a huge drain on your money.

When you walk into clothes shops be confident, when I started buying clothes I felt really nervous & it must have showed because the shop staff would have me bolting for the door at the first disaproving or questioning look. Now that I go in full of confidence the shop staff don't give me a second glance even though i'm still presenting mostly as male (I wear womens jeans & t-shirts but due to the cold weather i've normaly got a coat on covering my tops).

Also, don't rush yourself into going out as female, I started going out too early & lost all of my confidence after a few unpleasant experiences, I was mainly outed due to my 5 O'clock shadow showing through make up, due to this I havn't been outdoors as a woman for over 6 months, as someone else said this isn't a race.

Best wishes

[Keroppi]

Here is an archive file (you have to unpack it) and some voice materials, but it also contains a program that analyses voice frequency. ......

Thank you Beverley. You showed me those screenshot before when I asked on a seperate thread but the version of the program I had was different so I still couldn't get it to work. Now I finally have it.

[Freya]

Here is an archive file (you have to unpack it) and some voice materials, but it also contains a program that analyses voice frequency. It should run on any PC or in a Linux Wine shell and it requires a microphone to be plugged in.  http://www.transforum.org.uk/Progs/Voice.rar

Beverly,

Thanks!  I have it successfully installed.  I just need to read up on the instructions on how to use it.  My 17 year old daughter has a mid range female voice and I am sure she will be happy to help later this week.

Try to pop into a clothes shop each week to buy just one item, it may seem to take ages but you will eventualy build up a decent wardrobe without noticing a huge drain on your money.

When you walk into clothes shops be confident, when I started buying clothes I felt really nervous & it must have showed because the shop staff would have me bolting for the door at the first disaproving or questioning look. Now that I go in full of confidence the shop staff don't give me a second glance even though i'm still presenting mostly as male (I wear womens jeans & t-shirts but due to the cold weather i've normaly got a coat on covering my tops).

Jane,

I do have a large collection of clothing already, but I hope to be retiring all of it soon, as I trim down.  I bought all of it online, so while I did gather a plethora of things to wear (in private), but I didn't get the confidence builder you suggested by actually going out to shop for it.  I am really am looking forward to the experience of doing my own shopping in person.  All these little things really seem to have a reaffirming effect in that this IS what I really want to do with my life.

Freya

[Jayne]

Whenever i've been dragged to the shops by my mum to buy male clothes i've hated it but shopping for womens clothes is fantastic, the hardest thing about it is not going over my limit.
I often find myself almost walking into lamposts as I walk past the window displays in ladies clothes stores due to them having the annoying habit of having great clothes in the window, damn them 

[Freya]

Whenever i've been dragged to the shops by my mum to buy male clothes i've hated it but shopping for womens clothes is fantastic, the hardest thing about it is not going over my limit.
I often find myself almost walking into lamposts as I walk past the window displays in ladies clothes stores due to them having the annoying habit of having great clothes in the window, damn them 

I think that's going to be REALLY dangerous for me when the things in the window will actually fit 

Better keep the credit cards at home.

Freya

[Ashazti]

I think that's going to be REALLY dangerous for me when the things in the window will actually fit 

Better keep the credit cards at home.

Freya

This made me giggle... cuz I can totally relate... I can see myself going crazy for clothes once I'm able to find places that have stuff that fits.