Hi lmgaetjens,
Thank you for sharing your frailities with us. I, and many others appreciate your trust. From what you've said, there are probably a few matters running together simultaneously. And if you don't mind, I'd like to address them in reverse.
Depression. A probability. Several contributing factors. Diet, weight and hormonal interactions within the brain. Can you make sure you are having a well balanced diet with adequate hydration and sleep. Weight. You've already mentioned you may be over weight. Please attempt to address your diet and exercise regimes to mitigate this matter. Then that leaves hormonal balance and social interactions the only issues for medical authorities and social agencies to address.
Isolation can often be a matter for stress and depression. Are you currently in a group of similar minded folk, and engaging in day to day matters? If not, check out the resources page here at Susan's for an appropriate area and group.
Lastly AND formostly, is Mel close to you, geographically. If so, I know she is there for you, and will only too happily bend over backwards to get you back on track. You just need to let her know. If she isn't close, geographically, make contact with her. She is an absolute awesome pillar of strength and support you need to get you through these hard times.
If, regrettably none of the above works out, chill out; until parole is over, as you don't need to return to that side of life. And always remember, at all times, we are here for you.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
