Aunty Cindy's Agony Column

[Cindy]

dearest Aunty Cindy can i choose my own punishment please 

Always suspected that you were into self abuse. Are you related to JamieD?

Aunty Cindy

[Kimberley]

Thankyou Aunty Cindy and yes laughter is the best medicine at times.

You have been blessed with both good looks and intelligence. Were you greedy and returned for seconds and thirds when good looks and intelligence were being handed out which left some missing out?

[Catherine Sarah]

Thankyou Aunty Cindy and yes laughter is the best medicine at times.

You have been blessed with both good looks and intelligence. Were you greedy and returned for seconds and thirds when good looks and intelligence were being handed out which left some missing out?

Dear Gawd, Kimberley. How much are you being paid to write such nonsense?

Do you realise what is going to happen once the GodMother reads this. Her head will swell beyond all proportion and won't fit on the page anymore, let alone through the nearest doorway.

Attention; the nearest Moderator!! This thread has been hijacked and Kimberley's response needs to be moved to "Catherine The Greatest - And Why She Is Just So".

Me? .....  Delusional?.........  Naaaaaaaa!!!! Not me.

Aaaahh. I've just spotted the problem. Kimberley; take off those rose coloured glasses, then you'll see Cindy in her true light. (Somewhat sepia, I would think)

Be safe, well and happy. (Because I'm not going to be - soon)

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Cindy]

Thankyou Aunty Cindy and yes laughter is the best medicine at times.

You have been blessed with both good looks and intelligence. Were you greedy and returned for seconds and thirds when good looks and intelligence were being handed out which left some missing out?

Dear Kimberley,

You are obviously a perceptive, intelligent young woman with excellent taste and manners. Unlike a certain mangy cur. also known as my friend and sister, Catherine Sarah. She has had an unfortunate life, having lived in a shoe box in the middle of Kings Cross for her formative years. So she didn't really form very much. But we take pity on her and put on a pair of rubber gloves to pat her on the head occasionally. It gives her fleas some exercise.

Interestingly she has so many fleas that it has raised her IQ, which wasn't difficult to be honest.

Yours in merriment

Aunty Cindy

[Justin 21]

dearest Aunty Cindy why can't i find a girlfreind?

[Kimberley]

Aunty Cindy, you summation of me, eventhough we have never met, is spot on unlike someone else. You are indeed very gifted.

Justin, though your question is directed to her Almightyness who Knows it All may I suggest placing an ad in the wanted section, if that doesn't work, call me.

Hugs to all.

[justmeinoz]

Dear Aunty Cindy, help!
   The religious door knockers keep escaping out the window, even though I have tried every knot in the Girl Guides Manual.  I hardly get started on the flogging and they are off.  What can i do to stop them.  I thought of Leg Irons but they are all Heritage Listed and unobtainable.  The last one took the bootom bed rail with him in his flight.
I need help, I haven't even got to try out my new Violet Wand electrical stimulator.

Grumpy in Gagebrook.

[Justin 21]

i got some prison issue handcuffs and some chain think that'd work

[Jamie D]

Almightyness who knows it all

Thats rich!

[Dawn Heart]

Religious doorknockers?  Hmm....I usually just tell them I'm best friends with the devil

Then I offer them my sincere, heartfelt, appreciation for their uninvited presence at my residence (my third finger on any given hand is then displayed). They are then summarily given a trespass warning and sent on their merry way. 

Their warning includes the basic statement that if they return they will be sacrificed 

[Cindy]

Aunty Cindy, you summation of me, eventhough we have never met, is spot on unlike someone else. You are indeed very gifted.

Justin, though your question is directed to her Almightyness who Knows it All may I suggest placing an ad in the wanted section, if that doesn't work, call me.

Hugs to a

Dear Justin,

Wearing a brown paper bag over your head, the one on your shoulders, will immediately increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex. There are also several breeding programs in thelocal Zoo where you may meet a suitable girlfriend.

Hugs with Concern, Love and Yawns

Aunty Cindy

[Cindy]

Almightyness who knows it all

Thats rich!

Since you are lower than an infidel, I will retaliate by roasting your Teddy Bear over the BBQ.

Yours with Magnanimous Gestures

Aunty Cindy

[Cindy]

Dear Aunty Cindy, help!
   The religious door knockers keep escaping out the window, even though I have tried every knot in the Girl Guides Manual.  I hardly get started on the flogging and they are off.  What can i do to stop them.  I thought of Leg Irons but they are all Heritage Listed and unobtainable.  The last one took the bootom bed rail with him in his flight.
I need help, I haven't even got to try out my new Violet Wand electrical stimulator.

Grumpy in Gagebrook.

Dear Grumpy,

As ever Tasmanians continue to amaze me. I take it you failed flogging 101? Even the basics cover the seduction of door to door religious freaks. It is quite simple, you invite them in to share lovey dovey time, chain them to an immovable object and thrash.

You know just as your Grandmother taught you.

Goddess the gene pool has a leak.

Yours in sympathy for your loss

Aunty Cindy

[justmeinoz]

Sounds like a late night trip to Port Arthur to steal obtain some genuine Heritage leg irons then.  I'll distract any security guards by releasing a sexy Tassie Devil. Or maybe a girl from Gagebrook. Not a lot of difference.

Yours in flagellation.
Grumpy.

[Cindy]

Religious doorknockers?  Hmm....I usually just tell them I'm best friends with the devil

Then I offer them my sincere, heartfelt, appreciation for their uninvited presence at my residence (my third finger on any given hand is then displayed). They are then summarily given a trespass warning and sent on their merry way. 

Their warning includes the basic statement that if they return they will be sacrificed 

Dear Dawn Heart,

Thank you for your useless advice, sacrificing people is covered in Aunty Cindy's Guide to Better People Management. Needless to say a must text book for up and coming executives. You have obviously not read it.

I'm not really surprised as the people who visit my thread are ignorant jerks.

You are in total acceptance.


Love Aunty Cindy

[Cindy]

Sounds like a late night trip to Port Arthur to steal obtain some genuine Heritage leg irons then.  I'll distract any security guards by releasing a sexy Tassie Devil. Or maybe a girl from Gagebrook. Not a lot of difference.

Yours in flagellation.
Grumpy.

Dear Grumpy,

My apologies (Ha) I thought you were confined to Port Arthur as a living relic.

Yours in historical delight.

Aunty Cindy

[Kimberley]

[/quote] Since you are lower than an infidel, I will retaliate by roasting your Teddy Bear over the BBQ.

Yours with Magnanimous Gestures

Aunty Cindy

Aunty Cindy,

I was being sincere and you want to do a despicable thing to my Teddy Bear. I should have listened to my fellow Sydney girl, Aunty Catherine when she told me about you. I do believe that you are good when you are not being bad.

As for your magnanimous gestures is that what you do to dry your nails because I do that to help them dry more quickly.

Yours in laughter and merriment always.

Kimberly

[Catherine Sarah]

I was being sincere and you want to do a despicable thing to my Teddy Bear. I should have listened to my fellow Sydney girl, Aunty Catherine when she told me about you. I do believe that you are good when you are not being bad.

As for your magnanimous gestures is that what you do to dry your nails because I do that to help them dry more quickly.

Yours in laughter and merriment always.

Kimberly

Well Kimberley, I'm glad you've finally come to your senses and seen through this  woman   

I no doubt I can call upon you to protect my

]

If you ever want to catch up for a coffee or snack. Let me know. I'd love to catch up.

With everlasting kindness from us both
Huggs
Catherine & Murphy

P.S. Murphy is the one on the right. I'm still the one on the left      

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

[Catherine Sarah]

GO  TEDDY !!!

Kill the damn thing, with one fatal lunge




Score to date: (at full time)
Teddy       1
Monsters NIL