now, single

[AlexanderReese]

today has been a weird day. the past month has been a whirlwind of disaster and positives, but today has topped it.
my girlfriend and i broke up and as sad as i am, i'm also not that sad.
i'm sad because she's played such an important role to my son, and she's been there for me during therapy/transitioning.
but, i'm not sad because she was sort of mean and bossy to me. she was never ever wrong, and she could never just communicate with me.
i just feel so weird. i don't know really. i'm sad, but i'm being strong. i'm hurt but i'm just standing up for myself.
and it's like, i worry she'll find someone else, but then i realize she'll probably do to him, what she's done to me. I'm not saying i've been perfect or good, cause i have not. but i put efforts in my relationships.
sorry for the rant.
i just hope as hormone therapy starts, my self esteem sky rockets and i see the options i have.
maybe its time to be single. as long as my son is healthy and happy and i'm being successful in life, that should be enough for me!

[King Malachite]

I like your attitude on the situation.    Stay strong for you and your child.  Now you have more time to focus on yourself and him.

*hugs*

[AlexanderReese]

thanks malachite.
if i didnt think of the negatives with the positives, id destroy myself thinking about it all.

hugs!!

[Natkat]

after winter summer comes,
it will probably go on fine, as you just keep your focus and positive mind

[AlexanderReese]

after winter summer comes,
it will probably go on fine, as you just keep your focus and positive mind

i like that. thanks Natkat i'm trying!

[AlexanderReese]

Sorry to hear about your breakup! Hope you bounce back soon.

thanks casey! always makes my day when you comment my things lol i appreciate it friend

[AlexanderReese]

No problem! c:

[Edge]

I like your attitude. *big bear hug*

[AlexanderReese]

thanks guys. thanks edge. im just trying so hard to stay positive and like i said, its never good to be negative, but sometimes you have to remind yourself of them i suppose :/ it is what it is. i lived without her once, im positive i can continue living without her again.

[Morgan.]

Always best to stay positive bro. Good to hear you're staying strong, and you're right, when stuff moves forward, I'm sure it'll give your self esteem a boost. Chin up!

[AlexanderReese]

i wish i had more friends like you guys haha.
when i'm on here talking to you all, i don't feel so sad or alone.
i have my son, but he's a baby. he's sleeping and he can't talk yet lol.
thanks everyone

[AlexanderReese]

true! until he gets antsy and bored. then ive lost my only audience ahaha.

had a rough night with the dreams/ thoughts going through my head.
then i looked at my son, and i thought "July 11th, July 11th" (First doc appt.)
and though it is killing me, i won't let it consume me.
life goes on. i've done this once before in a previous serious relationship. (took me 2 years to get over that one jeez)
but i lived. and i will live again! i just hope when i date again, i'll find someone who TRULY cares for me.