today has been a weird day. the past month has been a whirlwind of disaster and positives, but today has topped it.
my girlfriend and i broke up and as sad as i am, i'm also not that sad.
i'm sad because she's played such an important role to my son, and she's been there for me during therapy/transitioning.
but, i'm not sad because she was sort of mean and bossy to me. she was never ever wrong, and she could never just communicate with me.
i just feel so weird. i don't know really. i'm sad, but i'm being strong. i'm hurt but i'm just standing up for myself.
and it's like, i worry she'll find someone else, but then i realize she'll probably do to him, what she's done to me. I'm not saying i've been perfect or good, cause i have not. but i put efforts in my relationships.
sorry for the rant.
i just hope as hormone therapy starts, my self esteem sky rockets and i see the options i have.
maybe its time to be single. as long as my son is healthy and happy and i'm being successful in life, that should be enough for me!

I like your attitude on the situation.    Stay strong for you and your child.  Now you have more time to focus on yourself and him.

*hugs*

thanks malachite.
if i didnt think of the negatives with the positives, id destroy myself thinking about it all.

hugs!!

after winter summer comes,
it will probably go on fine, as you just keep your focus and positive mind

Quote from: Natkat on June 21, 2012, 07:42:57 PM
after winter summer comes,
it will probably go on fine, as you just keep your focus and positive mind

i like that. thanks Natkat i'm trying!

Quote from: Casey on June 21, 2012, 08:50:56 PM
Sorry to hear about your breakup! Hope you bounce back soon.

thanks casey! always makes my day when you comment my things lol i appreciate it friend

No problem! c:

I like your attitude. *big bear hug*

thanks guys. thanks edge. im just trying so hard to stay positive and like i said, its never good to be negative, but sometimes you have to remind yourself of them i suppose :/ it is what it is. i lived without her once, im positive i can continue living without her again.

Always best to stay positive bro. Good to hear you're staying strong, and you're right, when stuff moves forward, I'm sure it'll give your self esteem a boost. Chin up!

i wish i had more friends like you guys haha.
when i'm on here talking to you all, i don't feel so sad or alone.
i have my son, but he's a baby. he's sleeping and he can't talk yet lol.
thanks everyone

true! until he gets antsy and bored. then ive lost my only audience ahaha.

had a rough night with the dreams/ thoughts going through my head.
then i looked at my son, and i thought "July 11th, July 11th" (First doc appt.)
and though it is killing me, i won't let it consume me.
life goes on. i've done this once before in a previous serious relationship. (took me 2 years to get over that one jeez)
but i lived. and i will live again! i just hope when i date again, i'll find someone who TRULY cares for me.