My non-op-ness

[JohnnieRamona]

I feel a bit odd among trans women simply because I don't really WANT SRS at this point- I can envision perhaps changing my mind 10-15 years down the road (when I'm in my late 40s-early 50s), but right now changing what's down there is far from a priority.

Beyond that, and I almost feel GUILTY for saying this, I don't hate my boy bits (ok, I hate my testicles, but not my penis). I like using them, and I plan to keep using them after I transition. I know that after I start HRT I may very well not want to use them any more (and that's ok)- but I guess I don't think it's THAT crazy to want to be a woman but still use my penis sexually.

Is anyone else near my POV or am I just off on my own in Crazytown?

[Penny Gurl]

Ok.. I totally get it.. and it's a subject that I didn't want to bring up because it does make you almost feel like you're an outsider. I've been on HRT now for two months.. and before I started I pretty much made up my mind to keep the 'bits' around. For me there were a few reasons 1) I hate any surgery and hospiatls and avoid them as much as possible... 2) there is some positives to a quicker pee stop.. 3) I know how that works in an 'intimate' situation and don't want to have to relearn that.  And 4) I've never hated on that part of me.. it was mostly everythng else.. granted I do kinda lean on the tomboy side of things so maybe there's a link? But personally I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping the bits, that's TOTALLY A PERSONAL chocie.  As I put it to a therapist when asked about it "other than slipping into pants easier for ME, I see no benifit."  Granted like you a decade or two down the road.. who knows!

[Th!nk]

I feel a bit odd among trans women simply because I don't really WANT SRS at this point
...
right now changing what's down there is far from a priority.
...
I know that after I start HRT I may very well not want to use them any more (and that's ok)- but I guess I don't think it's THAT crazy to want to be a woman but still use my penis sexually.

Is anyone else near my POV or am I just off on my own in Crazytown?

Well it seems Crazytown has a population of at least 3 so far.

I never hated my genitals either (but I do share your dislike of that wrinkly ole' bean bag). I try and live by the idea that happiness comes from within, and so am not willing to consider surgeries until all other avenues have been explored. That, and most of my discomfort in life comes from not being able to experience my preferred social and romantic role, which I think should be possible without breaking out the cigar cutter.

I've been on HRT for two months now and my desire, nay, my need to... ahem... manage my libido, has lessened quite a bit. It no longer has it's tendrils in every thought process in my head, which is a wonderful and illuminating thing indeed!

I think the extent and manner of necessary bodily and mental modification will be different for each person and their unique situation, and I don't think what you describe is uncommon or any cause for concern. Just strive to be true to yourself regardless of the way other people live their lives. Of course that is easier said than done, right?

[mementomori]

i actually like having a penis and having erections , but hate everything else testorome does , thats why ive always been hesistant to even go on hormones . but i defiantly want surgery to feminize . but im terrified of ageing with full testorome in my system , hairloss , what it does to skin ,male muscle mass etc etc

i identify as androgynous not really male or female though  but defiantly prefer to look " female"  well not prefer basicly have to to  look as feminine as possible to feel comfortable despite my internal androgynous identity

ahh gender is complicated

[Penny Gurl]

I'm there with not wanting to age as male.. as far as I see it testosterone is a poison that I'm very happy to have out ... or at least starting to get out of my system.  I've had full blown night terrors of. The thought of going bald and hate the idea of too much 'bulk' on my body, granded I have tried to conceal it as much as possible.. and as far as crazy town growing.. welcome! Let's try and make a crazy 'city' 

[mementomori]

I'm there with not wanting to age as male.. as far as I see it testosterone is a poison that I'm very happy to have out ... or at least starting to get out of my system.  I've had full blown night terrors of. The thought of going bald and hate the idea of too much 'bulk' on my body, granded I have tried to conceal it as much as possible.. and as far as crazy town growing.. welcome! Let's try and make a crazy 'city' 

oh god yes if i went bald it would be the death of me   

[mementomori]

forgive me for sounding like a idiot , but how does sex work once youve been on hormones for a while as a non op?   is it entirely limited to anal sex  ( which ive heard it shrinks your prostate which would make it less pleasurable )

im not sex obssesed and i actually have a pretty low libido but still sex is important to me in the fact i want my partner to be able to give me pleasure  , i dont want it to be just about pleasing my partner entirely and not receiving any myself at all

[JohnnieRamona]

Yeah- being a young(ish) guy who is generally considered attractive is somewhat, occasionally tolerable. But the idea of growing old as a man is intensely terrifying to me. I'd much rather be a distinguished older woman.

[mementomori]

Yeah- being a young(ish) guy who is generally considered attractive is somewhat, occasionally tolerable. But the idea of growing old as a man is intensely terrifying to me. I'd much rather be a distinguished older woman.

ditto to that , i actually all through my teens was and dressed androgynously , and i think androgyny is beautifal people like andrej pejic etc

but i think its a very hard thing to make last , i mean look at boy george now o.O

[Penny Gurl]

forgive me for sounding like a idiot , but how does sex work once youve been on hormones for a while as a non op?   is it entirely limited to anal sex  ( which ive heard it shrinks your prostate which would make it less pleasurable )

im not sex obssesed and i actually have a pretty low libido but still sex is important to me in the fact i want my partner to be able to give me pleasure  , i dont want it to be just about pleasing my partner entirely and not receiving any myself at all

You know.. that's something I've been thinking about... from what I've heard as long as you still.. umm... work the plumbing.. all so be set to rock when needed.. you just need to be actually turned on vs the guy reaction of needing less stimuli.

[Th!nk]

You know.. that's something I've been thinking about... from what I've heard as long as you still.. umm... work the plumbing.. all so be set to rock when needed.. you just need to be actually turned on vs the guy reaction of needing less stimuli.

My endo tells me that in most cases if your organ stops working and you desire it to function, it can also usually be achieved through adjustment of your hormone levels by slightly upping the T.

[Randi]

When the erections are gone, penetration is no longer possible.

However the nerves are still connected and as sensitive as ever.  Oral or manual stimulation is as pleasurable as it ever was before.  If you are lucky you will grow some sensitive breasts.

After my wife has had an orgasm or two, it's my turn.  She will often ask whether I want fellatio or breast sucking, and I frequently prefer breast sucking.

Any candid and truthful woman will tell you there is a direct nerve connection between the breasts and the genital regions.  Estrogen will awaken this long dormant connection.    I've never had an orgasm exclusively from breast stimulation, but find it's really necessary now.

The nature of an orgasm changes too, and arousal causes an overall body heat and glow.  At times the arousal is so pleasurable you don't want it to end, and the desire for orgasm is reduced.

I've also had both dry orgasms and the squirting kind.  They are different but both pleasurable.

All in all, losing the erection is no big deal for either my wife or myself.  Although she thought she would miss being penetrated, she now agrees that the clitoris is the center of pleasure.  I think we both enjoy sex more than ever, although I greatly admire her ability to achieve multiple orgasms easily, and envy her body.  I've very much like to "be like her".

Randi

 

forgive me for sounding like a idiot , but how does sex work once youve been on hormones for a while as a non op?   

[Joelene9]

Yeah- being a young(ish) guy who is generally considered attractive is somewhat, occasionally tolerable. But the idea of growing old as a man is intensely terrifying to me. I'd much rather be a distinguished older woman.

Same here.  One of my reasons to start transitioning before it is really too late.  I do not want to be a bitter old man.  This one is not attractive, but the softening of the features from the HRT does help.  I am non-op due to my finances and my age prevents me from being gainfully employed long enough to have SRS. 
  Joelene

[Tanya]

I agree with Randi.  The pleasure on estrogen is still there, but different.  The breasts are a main source of pleasure.  It just takes a little longer to get everything going.

[BillieTex]

Me, well I must say my 'man bits' never worked that well for me. Even young it would not stay with me, probably because I wanted to feel what she was feeling, not what I felt. Don't get me wrong, I always will love to love women, just not with this equipment. Even with the love of my life I rarely came. I do wish I could be rid of it, but not likely gonna happen, money and family and all. It is true the breasts are very sensitive, and dry orgasms is the rule of the day, and that is just fine by me. 

[justmeinoz]

Randi? How can any American parent name their child that, especially their daughters? Why not just go for "Horny!!"

Seriously though, I have been considering the options, and am tempted to settle for a Bilateral Orchi, due to my total phobia of any sort of surgery. 
I have noticed in the Facebook TS group I am in that there seems to be a lot of emphasis placed on the cosmetic aspects of SRS.  To me that still means trying to fit other's idea of what I should look like, whereas everyone talks about how transition should be about what you need to do.
Given the relatively small number of women who seem to be open to a relationship with a Transwoman, I am not encouraged to submit to something that frankly scares me, just to please someone I haven't even met. 
I intend to work on my phobia of surgery, but will also have to look deeply into what I need to do to live an authentic life now that I have reached the point of letters having been written.  Before it was all a bit vague.  If anything happens Susan's kids will hear it first, that I do know.

Karen.

[Randi]

Everybody is Randi sooner or later. 

Randi? How can any American parent name their child that, especially their daughters? Why not just go for "Horny!!"

Karen.

[Gretchen]

Non-Op =  Extreme Crossdresser
Crazy Town? Maybe, but who doesn't live there?
I can understand not being able to afford SRS and having to struggle with the fact that you have a penis, but the whole Non-Op or having an Orchi is not TS or a trans woman in my opinion. For those of us who believe that we only have one life to live then living that life to the best of our ability is what's important. Do what makes you happy and who gives a ->-bleeped-<- about what anyone else thinks, be selfish.

[MariaMx]

Randi? How can any American parent name their child that, especially their daughters? Why not just go for "Horny!!"

Randi is a common girls name in Norway.

[Penny Gurl]

Non-Op =  Extreme Crossdresser
Crazy Town? Maybe, but who doesn't live there?
I can understand not being able to afford SRS and having to struggle with the fact that you have a penis, but the whole Non-Op or having an Orchi is not TS or a trans woman in my opinion. For those of us who believe that we only have one life to live then living that life to the best of our ability is what's important. Do what makes you happy and who gives a ->-bleeped-<- th about what anyone else thinks, be selfish.

I do think non op = cross dresser..personally I have chosen not to go through SRS because I hate the idea of invasive surgery, in fact.. I don't even want my ears piecred.. weird I know.. but my grandmother never pierced hers either..  as far as crazy town.. well hell yeah! Average = well average.. and that's just no fun.. so load up the band wagon!