Is it better for transmen to be invisible?

[Natkat]

I'm kinda sorry to point this out, But I the threath as others had been seams more about being good or bad exemples for the trans comunety and people.

Whatever people do or do not is there own busniss, whatever there trans or not,
I hope we could stop putting every single transperson who been out as a posterboy to jugde for ever single one of us cause its not.

People might belive we are all the same, those who belive so are just not educated probably, we can in no ways deny those people exist whatever we are out or not.

its just been bugging me to see how everyone worrys more about others life, how they will infect them,
it actually as I see it the biggest reason for transphobic, homophobic and so on in our own comunety. when transexuals puts transvesites down, when maculine homosexuals put femenine homosexuals down and when ftm puts other ftm downs, for the reason of what other might think.
we probably all wanna be threated and seen as regular guys no matter our parts, I just belive some of us tend to accept more we arnt than others. But no matter what position we have then we are all people and we shouldnt stand in the light for being good or bad exemple for all our kinds for every single movement we do.

[TheAwesomePrussia]

I'm not really open, but at the same time, I don't try to hide it.
I'll admit, I'm paranoid about people knowing, and really touchy as to who I tell. But I've found there's situations where you really just can't avoid it without getting yourself into trouble.
I've gotten my name changed, changed my gender with social security, and scratched out the gender marker on my ID (can't have it changed without bottom surgery). But throughout that process I had to be out to those involved. And even now I still have to be out to medical professionals and have to explain to companies when I'm changing my information why I'm changing my gender too. And I've had to explain I was trans when I've had background checks run for jobs. And then there are those friends who knew me before and still accidentally use incorrect pronouns or just plain don't have the respect to use correct pronouns...
No matter what you do, you can't be completely stealth unless you get your surgery and leave where you grew up...
I plan to do just that, but I think, during transition, there's no way to be completely stealth.

So in my own way, I advocate. Online, in open-minded groups, through petitions and emails to legislators. There's more than one way to advocate, I don't think any way is wrong. But I, living in one of the most anti-LGBT states in the country, am far too afraid of the people around me to be completely open about being trans. And if at all possible, I don't want to be thought of or treated any differently than my cisgender friends.

[Ayden]

I'm kinda sorry to point this out, But I the threath as others had been seams more about being good or bad exemples for the trans comunety and people.

Whatever people do or do not is there own busniss, whatever there trans or not,
I hope we could stop putting every single transperson who been out as a posterboy to jugde for ever single one of us cause its not.

People might belive we are all the same, those who belive so are just not educated probably, we can in no ways deny those people exist whatever we are out or not.

its just been bugging me to see how everyone worrys more about others life, how they will infect them,
it actually as I see it the biggest reason for transphobic, homophobic and so on in our own comunety. when transexuals puts transvesites down, when maculine homosexuals put femenine homosexuals down and when ftm puts other ftm downs, for the reason of what other might think.
we probably all wanna be threated and seen as regular guys no matter our parts, I just belive some of us tend to accept more we arnt than others. But no matter what position we have then we are all people and we shouldnt stand in the light for being good or bad exemple for all our kinds for every single movement we do.

+1. I agree with NatKat.

Personally, I am going to live my life. I won't make up excuses for these scars or those, and I won't lie. It's best for all of society to know about others and to have as many involved as possible. There is nothing to be gained by hiding away one group from the rest of the world. Its like back in the fifties when people would hide away their disabled relatives - nothing was gained. Having the disabled integrated into society has been better for everyone. We will never be "normal guys" because we have past experiences that biological men do not, but hiding away isn't going to help us or the community. Unless the trans community is more out there, people will continue to keep some weird idea of what we are in their heads. People will either like and support you, or they won't. That's all there is to it. But by educating people, maybe there will be more of the former and less of the latter. I chose to focus on my own life and not worry about what someone may think about me.

We can't hold out for the "perfect posterchild" (which will never exist) or for universal popularity. If we want everything, we will end up with nothing.

[Natkat]

I wanna point out something ells I hope I havent mention it before.. (I dont remember well )
If transpeople are invisible then it can also be hard to et threatment.

From where I live the transfolks had been very invisible the last few years, and its first now we start to get some kind of "trans revelution" with focus on transgenders.

This had given alot of problem, ex for myself I couldnt get the right help I needed, I talked with alot of people openly about that I was trans but I really wanted to have homones and surgery and name change, But it was very few people who could help me cause nobody really knew about the issue, and I wasted alot of time by seaching around untill I found other trans people who could guide me.

also for the laws its the same, since being trans has been so invisibble of a topic it also means most people dont know what kind of threatment or laws we are ruled underneath. I wont say people here are transphobic, but we are still on the list of a pretty bad country to be transgender in, why? because we are ruled under some very ->-bleeped-<-ty laws who is almost imposible to change, why? because Almost nobody knows they exist.
---
If trans people are invisible, No matter what country or state, they run the risk of facing the same kinds of problems as I decribed above.

[Traivs]

Natkat makes a good point about if people don't know they exist its harder for those who are looking into it or even for laws to be put into place or fixed. I personally though its really hard for me sometimes keep a open door policy at my house so my friends or people I know can stay the night or whatever if they ever need a place to crash for whatever reason and i tend to be pretty open if they ask me anything. I answer any questions that get of me though I dont go out of my way to advertise me being trans. One of those people who came over and ended asking me a lot of questions i found out later was mtf but they didn't realize till after they talked to me that it was possible to really transition. Wow i am too tired to type this but my point is that if everyone is so closed off and invisible some of the people who really could benefit from gaining some knowledge wont be able to. 

[Chamillion]

I'll probably get hit for this but seriously, there's probably millions of transphobes, homophobes, religious nuts and you can't educate/change all their minds. Wouldn't it be easier if the less they knew about us, the better?
You're not likely to pick on someone for being remotely trans* if you have no idea it exists, are you? (Of course by now this would be a bit like stuffing the cat back in the bag...) 

Yes, in the world currently, it would be easier if no one knew what a trans man was and we could all blend in seamlessly.

But you know what would be even better? A world where we didn't have to hide, because trans people were just accepted as regular people trying to live their lives in the way that makes them happiest. This is the ultimate goal, and it can only be achieved by not being invisible. I am not 100% out as I don't tell people at work who don't need to know, but I quite enjoy coming out to people. I meet them as a normal dude, and after getting to know them I tell them about me, and all I've had is positive reactions. I've had people tell me that I've changed their lives. Because they previously had negative judgments about trans people, but after meeting me realize we're just average people. And that is what needs to happen. We need to change the minds of the uninformed. By coming out, we show people that we're really not that strange, and this promotes knowledge and acceptance. The more people who understand us, the easier it is for future trans people to come out and become who they've always been. So while it would be easier for me if no one knew that trans people existed, it wouldn't be easier for future trans people if we all just hid away. The goal is not to transition and then blend in, the goal is to increase acceptance so eventually we can all be who we are and not have to worry about hiding it.

[Natkat]

But you know what would be even better? A world where we didn't have to hide, because trans people were just accepted as regular people trying to live their lives in the way that makes them happiest. This is the ultimate goal, and it can only be achieved by not being invisible.

theres are few places and cultures where those had happent in some way or another.
some indians was claim to be the first queer people, since sex, gender and sexualety was fluent.

also this one is pretty interesting