Good Evening Sister Mary Elle,
I hope I'm not interrupting your rosary or benediction time. Saints perserve me should I be such a heretic. Burn me at the stake. Or get me into some bad 'habits'
Much of what you ask, depends on what age you are now. If you were born in 1988, I would suggest you get on the phone IMMEDIATELY and start booking group sessions to deal with this somewhat ominous list; so you can meet the deadline. Which you most probably will be by the time the clock chimes 12 on your 25th. DEAD. Or so close to it.
Fortunately though, if you were born prior to 1988 you still have time, with a breather in between sessions. OR bookings dependent. After all it is elective surgery.
Fear not if you were born after 1988, there is still a chance for you. Place a lobotomy on top of the list, have it performed tomorrow with out fail and the rest of your wish list .......... er, what wish list? Will have been satisfied.
Oh BTW, just a precautionary note with the remote controls for the the vibrators installed in OUR vagina's ('I' not being included in the royal 'OUR') Be sure NOT to get the ones that are bluetooth enabled. You never know who is skulking round your local mall with an app on their iPhone, just waiting in ambush to trigger it off when you least expect it.
I wish you the very best and hope your wishes and desires are met in advance of your 25th (I assume birthday, as you only stated your wishes to be concluded prior to you being 25. Is that miles per gallon, litres per week, dollars per hour, IQ, degrees Celsius, weeks overdue with your library book?) If my assumption is correct, being for years of age, then there shouldn't be much left of you for the all important operation, that originally sparked this lifestyle; SRS. But that shouldn't be too much of concern to you as you'd be a totally new person in any case with a whole new wish list for a all new time frame.
Oh BTW, you forgot the
denture modifications,
interior nasal redevelopment, complete with auto cleansing (for when you have a cold),
finger nailopthy
toenailopthy,
knee cap reconstruction,
hip replacement,
iris colouring,
nasal hair epilatory,
nearly forgot the top lip electrolysis (that's fun),
nipple augmentation and realignment,
navel plugging,
elbow rasping (stops you leaning on the table with your elbows - as your Mother repeatedly warned you when you were MUCH younger),
eyelash extension (by the yard) complete with various colour schemes to match your mood),
tongue reduction,
epiglottis reshaping and re weighing,
gonad rejuvenation (if there is any),
belly button lint removal (preferably the automated type, again without the bluetooth option),
nose reduction, reshaping and straightening (the bloody things are always bent. When someone tells me to follow MY nose I end up walking in circles),
blood thinning,
artery scrubbing,
liver cleansing, (with the bluetooth option),
heart pumping,
brain shaping,
ear waxing,
hair tinting (only if you have some),
ear lobe trimming,
cranium squashing (to match the neck compression),
eye lid lengthening, (greater attention getter when you bat your eyes at that man of your dreams),
fallopian tube restructuring (only if available within the time frame),
jaw inversion (very trendy these days),
ankle shaving (internally)
and last but not least, arm lengthening (allows you to scrape your knuckles on the ground when you walk.
As this list is not exhaustive, when added to yours really means you should start the whole procedure with the lobotomy. Then you can live the rest of your days out in peace and comfort of knowing nothing.
Huggs
Catherine
