Who's been the hardest to come out to?

[bethany]

By far the hardest person to admit that I'm transgendered was myself. It took almost 30 years to finally admit it.

When I was younger my girlfriends thought I was gay with some of the things I would do, and because of that the relationships never lasted very long.

I finally wised us and with my last girlfriend I told her about this side of me, it was the first time I told anyone. I was 35 years old at the time. We were together 10 years. I have since come out to family and friends with nothing but positive reactions.  I again find myself alone but at least I know who and what I am; and now I'm finally on the road to become the person I see when I look in the mirror.

Hugs
Bethany

[Jennygirl]

I think it was the same for me. With the others I was drunk, so it went smoothly.

Ahahah yep. But you tire out pretty quickly trying to tell a bunch of people in the same night. It does make it easier initially, but now I prefer to be sober.

And yeah have to agree with so many others here, hardest one was the self. Second hardest was my now ex gf, and third hardest was my parents. Then probably my two best male friends.

I'm still not totally out to everyone in the extended friend group, but my presentation has changed so much over the past couple of months that I think they would be able to surmise that I am trans or something. With my current friends I've always done occasional crossdressing and had long hair, but adding women's fashion + makeup + disappearing body hair + heels has all the unknowings asking.. What's going on with "him"?? Wait, her??? Also new pronouns coming from inner circlers around people who don't know is really fun and very helpful... I kind of giggle and they look over at me with a look of shock. I just love it when that shocked look is followed by a nod of approval and another conversation is born.

Word about this kind of thing spreads fast too. Once enough people know, filling in the gaps becomes a lot easier. Now, it really only takes about 10 mins because most people already know what's going on! Lovely, I was actually about to start feeling a little tired from the 90 minute individual convos!

[Tessa James]

I share with Fat A and Kia Ora that most daunting challenge of accepting myself.  It reads like some great comedy that I could convince myself about an alternate reality (being cis) while actually cross dressing and more.  I felt so unusual that I considered I must be an alien from another planet;-)  How dramatic to now be in transition and feel so honored to ride this wave of love and support for coming out transgendered.  Wadaya know, what's between my ears was a bigger problem than what's between my legs. 
So inspring to hear about others success stories!

[lawliver]

i came out 2 years ago, but not to everyone. i've told my mom, and my little sister, but i can't seem to tell my dad. he is very strict and very old fashioned. i don't want him to be upset or angry or get in my face and make me feel like crap for who i am. pretty much what he did when he found out i was atheist aha.

[ford]

Mine's a bit odd. The limited family I've come out to and the spouse - not bad at all so far.

But for some reason I can't mention to my classmate who sits next to me in most of my classes that I'm going by a different name now (and why, obviously). Just can't bring myself to do it, even though it's a really low threat. Can't get over the awkwardness of it, I suppose. But sooner or later I'm going to have to, because in one class I have a mix of people who know me as birthname, and people who know me as chosenname.

So. Awkward (any tips on how to inform casual acquaintances about suddenly having a new name appreciated, by the way).

[Kevin Peña]

So. Awkward (any tips on how to inform casual acquaintances about suddenly having a new name appreciated, by the way).

A few seconds before your last class ends, pack your stuff, toss him a note, and run out! You'll see him later.

[Tossu-sama]

Aside from myself, it was Mom.

Sure, I knew she's very open-minded and doesn't judge people but it was completely different. After all, I'm her only child and therefore I was certain she'd be blaming herself and all that jazz.
But Mom clearly told me I would be always be her child, she'd love me no matter what and would never abandon me.

[Tessa James]

"myself" remains top of the list but my adult daughter and son are next.  My daughter was "cool" as she said after 10 minutes of discussion and me in a dress.  Bless her heart, she was ready to go downtown and get breakfast.  Portland is a progressive city and I was "ma'am" and we were "ladies" to our hosts.  And then the fuller process and finality sunk in for her.  Then we got to deal with anger, loss, and stereotypes.  Some of her friends laughed and made sick jokes.  She wondered if she could ever be comfortable introducing me to people.  She will miss "old Dad."  It takes time and patience and listening for the message.  Our kids do need us and, with a long history of being supportive, they will continue to reach out for understanding and a loving parent.
My son has explicitly set a course for himself that is 180 degrees from who I am.  He pumps iron daily and is a mans man.  Once a National Alliance Skinhead he keeps the nearly shaved head but has softened the bigotry and prejudice.  We have miles to go when reaching for common ground but we all need help along the way.  Initially he raged about his Dad in a dress and defriended me in more ways than Face book.  Now the acceptance is growing as we share the love and support he still needs for dealing with his own family about their relationships.  Having a baseline with some trust and continuity is keeping the door open.  That's all I can ask. 
It is so very hard for so many men to be in touch with feelings other than anger.  I like to think we TG folks are helping to push the boundaries of what a man or woman can be for the cis gendered too.

[ConfusedGirlRuby]

Coming out to myself was a neutral matter, i'd always known I was different and it finally clicked when I watched a documentary about being transgender. But in some ways I still haven't come out to myself.

Coming out to my friends was... interesting. I'd already come out as "gay" several years beforehand, those who had abandoned me due to sexual preference I didn't have to bother coming out to later as I no longer spoke to them. My closest friends were really accepting of me when I told them. Several people I thought I could trust tried to use this information against me and blackmail me, which led to me inevitably coming out to my entire year.

My family... well this is a difficult matter. I came out to my parents exactly a year ago, they had mixed reactions, not openly hostile, just bemused and a bit worried, my mother reacted worst and said I was doing it for attention etc etc etc. So I quickly said it was a phase and didn't say anymore about it, and now we act as if nothing has happened, so I don't really know how to come out to them.