Tonight I went out to dinner and saw family members that I haven't seen in quite some time. I was sort of dreading this because I look different and didn't know how I would be taken. Everyone was very nice and receptive. Since I'm in an awkward situation where I still present male, everyone tries to pretend everything is all kosher even though you know they can tell, especially my chest. This was also at a restaurant that we used to frequent, but I haven't been to in almost a year. luckily, I wasn't looked at strangely by the staff, though there was a creepy guy starting at me from the bar. It was very uncomfortable, and I couldn't tell why he was looking at me. I've always felt different from men, but lately that difference is even stronger. Quite frankly, I feel afraid and uncomfortable around some men nowadays. I know that's not right, but it's how I'm starting to feel.
I guess the fact that everything went okay would be the good news. The bad news would be that I totally pigged out tonight and feel like a whale. Those family pics were not flattering to me at all. I really hate what a giant pig I am. Feel like crying now.
