What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?

[GnomeKid]

Waking up 

Happy because I love waking up alive, Sad because it was SOOO early and my alarm was screaming at me.

[JLT1]

Good morning! !

Hugs,

Jen

[Jenny07]

Loving the changes I have waited so long for are well underway.
I really don't ever want to go back as the differences E has made is unbelievable.

Struggling with the demons of what to do next as feel helpless alone and lost.

[Ms Grace]

Jen, you can always PM me if you need to chat.

[Umiko]

i saw my new endocrinologist today, she is willing to start me on HRT but she says i first need to get mentally stable which is understandable seeing how my mental state is crumbling, sad part is, the therapist i'm considering has only some experience and i really need my letter before more damage starts happening to my mental and physical. so all an all, its great, its just my letter thats eluding me

[Ltl89]

After a long battle that spanned months, I was finally offered a permanent position at my job.  It's taken forever and I've had to sit out and work as a temp periodically, but I finally have something stable.  Everyone there is really nice, so it makes me feel more comfortable knowing that I won't have to fear a hostile work environment as a trans person.  Plus I don't have to worry about discrimination in hiring and interviews.  No having to worry about how to justify my apperance and confliction as to who I am going to talk about my past when I go full time. Now I have something that can keep me alive/allow me to develop more experience.  I've been looking for so long for anything that pays at least over 10 dollars an hour because anything else is impossible for me to live on.  Sadly that hasn't been easy for me to find.  Finally I have something that pays even more.  This a huge deal for me.  I really needed this and it helps so much for my anxiety.  Maybe I can make it through till the end.

Bad news is that I'm still totally poor and have so much fear about how to pay for everything.  It's so overwheliming.  At least, this job allows me to survive for the transition process.  And I still have my mother's benefits which I will keep until I'm 26 (she has a much better plan than my jobs).  Because I don't reach the full time hours of 37.5, I will have to use their part time benefit plan, so I'd like to avoid any changes within this year.  In any event, I can live another day and plan for grad school so that I can one day have a stable future, but I still don't know how I could ever afford SRS and a nose job (both of them are needed for me).  Oh well, maybe I will just have to wait a few years for SRS.  I can deal with that, but it's going to make any potential love life hard as most guys aren't okay with this. And I really want to be able to date soon as I'm getting lonely.  As for the the nose job, it seems essential if I'm ever going to be able to pass.  It sounds silly to put so much stock in that, but I need this in order to live a secure and private life.  I don't know.  I wish everything in my life was cheaper and the cost of living here wasn't so ridiculous.   At least the rent my mom is asking for is really lenient.  I'd be screwed trying to find an appartment near my job that I could afford.  There's no way.  Oh well, I should count my blessings and be grateful for what I have now.  I'm just still so uncertain about my future and the anxiety is driving me insane.

[Shantel]

After a long battle that spanned months, I was finally offered a permanent position at my job.  It's taken forever and I've had to sit out and work as a temp periodically, but I finally have something stable. 

Maybe I can make it through till the end.

Oh well, I should count my blessings and be grateful for what I have now.  I'm just still so uncertain about my future and the anxiety is driving me insane.

Congratulations! 

Yes you will make it, just like you made it to this point through determination, fortitude and stick-to-itiveness!

[Ltl89]

Congratulations! 

Yes you will make it, just like you made it to this point through determination, fortitude and stick-to-itiveness!

Thanks Shantel!

I guess I just need to believe in myself and have hope things will go well. Focus on the good. 

[Dee Marshall]

Vacation starts in two hours! Wedding anniversary is part way through! 

The plan is to tell sweety that I'm trans next month so if things don't go well with that this could be our last happy anniversary and vacation.

[Umiko]

I CAN START HRT IN 3 WEEKS! unhappy becuz my therapist wasnt in the office today to sign off on my letter -.-

[Lauren5]

Used the noodles from ramen to make pasta with since I was out of pasta, and although it looks terrible, doesn't taste bad, and is filling.
I then noticed half a box of pasta on the counter. Ugh, I can't believe I missed that.
Also, no more forks, have to go buy more. This time, washable metal ones, gotta wean off plastic utensils.

EDIT: also this, found a site with almost all clothes available in longs. It's not as expensive as custom made, but still more than I want to pay. Pants with a 35" inseam end up $27-42, while I'd rather not pay over $20 for them.
I need to visit American Eagle more, they have jeans on the sale rack for $15, but rarely are there longs there. At least if I can snap some up, that's a reasonable price.

[Adam (birkin)]

Used the noodles from ramen to make pasta with since I was out of pasta, and although it looks terrible, doesn't taste bad, and is filling.
I then noticed half a box of pasta on the counter. Ugh, I can't believe I missed that.
Also, no more forks, have to go buy more. This time, washable metal ones, gotta wean off plastic utensils.

I've done that lol. I've had a lot of very strange food combinations over the years too.

[Apples Mk.II]

Happy: Electricity went off and everything was wonderful. No annoying neighbours with the music all day, no football fans shouting... I loved it

Unhappy: It came back after three minutes.

[FTMDiaries]

Happy: ran on a treadmill for the first time in 8 months.

Unhappy: shin splints!

I know it gets better with time & practice. I'll just have to keep pushing through. 

[JLT1]

After a long battle that spanned months, I was finally offered a permanent position at my job.  It's taken forever and I've had to sit out and work as a temp periodically, but I finally have something stable. 

Bad news is that I'm still totally poor and have so much fear about how to pay for everything.  It's so overwheliming. 

Congrads!  You just keep moving ahead.  Sometimes that's what it's about.  You're going to make it.

Hugs!

Jen

[JLT1]

Happy: ran on a treadmill for the first time in 8 months.

Unhappy: shin splints!

I know it gets better with time & practice. I'll just have to keep pushing through. 

Keep going, keep pushing (but not to hard).  Hang in there.

Hugs,

Jen

[Lauren5]

Have a job opportunity for a full time position that makes $27,000-$42,000 a year and has decent benefits.
It will mean moving, as well as getting my legal gender and name change in first, as they have to have at least a certain percentage of male and female employees, and I don't want to be thrown into the wrong bunch, and then when I do have the legal change, throw off their numbers.

[JLT1]

Have a job opportunity for a full time position that makes $27,000-$42,000 a year and has decent benefits.
It will mean moving, as well as getting my legal gender and name change in first, as they have to have at least a certain percentage of male and female employees, and I don't want to be thrown into the wrong bunch, and then when I do have the legal change, throw off their numbers.

This could be wonderful but watch the details of everything.  You deserve a break and I hope it goes wonderful.

Hugs,

Jen

[Lauren5]

This could be wonderful but watch the details of everything.  You deserve a break and I hope it goes wonderful.

Hugs,

Jen

I think I've got the legal details worked out, now I actually need to file everything. I was worried that I haven't lived here long enough, only 9 months out of the required year, but then I remembered that my dad set my permanent address the same as his; the house of his parents, which is where I'd be living probably if I go for the job, since birth. So, officially, that's over 19 years of residence, good enough. I think I'm understanding the court orderless system through the California Department of Public Health now, and it seems after a legal name change and form NC-210/310 from my doctor, should be able to amend my birth certificate. Then, the tougher parts. Figuring out if I can terminate this sublease early, move, and the hardest part, come out to my grandparents.
EDIT: Aw crap, I have only until the 27th to apply for that job. Can't get the legal stuff in by then. Going to have to explain it in my application. Since it's with the government, I don't think they'd want to turn me down for being trans.

[V M]

I have to buy a new pair of blue jeans    Granted, I love to get a new pair of jeans, but I am trying to limit my expenses right now 

The problem with being a cyclist is that over time the crotch area wears out and I'm not too certain that crotchless blue jeans are going to be the next ragingly big fashion statement     

I am however trying to figure out how to possibly sew a patch on without it looking too tacky, plus I'm not particularly the best seamstress either