Last night I was presented with an opportunity to prove what kind of man I am.
Yesterday my ex took his father to hospital for a neurological appointment. His dad has rapidly progressing Parkinson's and is now struggling to perform everyday tasks. Nevertheless, his dad has booked a week's holiday for him & his wife, and because of his rapid deterioration this may well prove to be the last holiday they get to take together. His wife, my ex's mum, begged my ex to join them and to bring our kids with so they can have one last holiday with their favourite grandkids. Naturally, I'm not invited - that side of the family has acted atrociously towards me for many years, and it got exponentially worse when I came out.
Now regulars at Susan's might recall that last year my ex decided to take my kids away on holiday to our usual spot... but I was deliberately not invited. This was extremely traumatising for me; I had to take that week off work and I needed to work through it in therapy. So this should be very triggering for me, right?
But these circumstances are different. This is perhaps my daughters' last opportunity to go away on holiday with their beloved grandparents. No matter how badly that pair has treated me over the years, I believe it would be inhuman of me to stand in the way under these circumstances. I have the opportunity to be the bigger man here.
So when my ex proposed all of this to me last night, I gave him my blessing to take the kids away again this year, and I am at peace with my decision.
