I apologise for posting here without contributing before now and understand if nobody reads this, writing it out is mainly for the sake of purging emotions and making sense of things.
What made me sad? Very sadly, my partner had to deal with her mother stressing her greatly today by launching an attack about her job, for spending money on food essentials rather than saving for a new washing machine (I don't even begin to understand that), and for her reproductive health choices. Due to the anxiety and upset suddenly imposed on her, my partner desperately said out that the last one of these was influenced by the fact I'm transgender. After this, her mother kept pushing conversation around relatives they visited in that direction and effectively forced her to tell her grandmother and her father. Her mother showed no regard for welfare or anxiety, in my mind, so I'm a teeny tiny bit peeved to say the least.
I'm not focused on the disclosure because I've always aimed to encourage my partner to do whatever feels right and tried to explore possibilities for increasing happiness when it comes to my trans stuff. I just want her to make the best decision for her future happiness and feel anything can be said or done, no matter how unreasonable or absurd she might think it is. Personally, I would never ask her to keep my status private at a cost to her. It's why she's known about my status since before our relationship began. Of course, I'm not suggesting this is what others should do, it's what works for us.
What distresses me is that my partner's mother upset her for ridiculous reasons
yet again and placed her in a situation where she felt compelled to disclose something she wanted to keep private until I was about to fully socially transition in the future. My partner intended to alleviate some of her fear by planning and such but never got to do that.
What makes me happy? My partner's family have said nothing negative to her so far. Her mother said she only cares about her happiness. Her grandmother just made a noise of acknowledgement then carried on with an internet search. Her father claims to not be bothered because he'd already guessed there was 'something odd' about me in 'that area'. It's far better than I'd anticipated because past conversation about gay men resulted in me having to challenge a litany of homophobic nonsense, ranging from 'it's not natural' to 'children shouldn't see them'. I'm glad my partner doesn't have to deal with keeping a secret any longer and just hope that they're actually being supportive of her rather than doing what they've done before, which is publicly accept something and be scathing about it in private until they become confident enough to reveal their true views.
Provided they're genuine, this could work out to be a far, far better scenario that allows greater time to adapt and creates less issues. ^_^
