What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?

[MiaOhMya!]

Me and my partner broke up after 4 years, we've grown apart and both agreed this was the way to go since we'll be living/working in different cities.

Knew intellectually this was a very real possibility but emotionally processing it is still taking it's toll.

Happy we are still friends, happy we split on good terms.

Sorry Hun. I am going through a similar-feeling situation. It is very tough. My boyfriend made me happy and sad today. We've been together nearly 4 years.

We just got home from what started as a nice evening. I was happy as I got a group of our friends together at the last minute to surprise him after a rough week at work. We went out and all was well...

...until AS USUAL various things happened through the evening. Primarily I cannot take it anymore how much he lives to be negative. He almost wants trouble. He acts like he hates everything and everyone. He belittles the value of education and berates anyone who might give him advice. He is a hypocrite when it comes to acceptance. He is a T-guy and expects everyone to respect that and treat him right, then he turns around and absolutely positively disrespects EVERYONE who is not like him.

Tonight he went off on me that all the CRAP he talks is okay because he treats others fine... to their faces.  Tonight he said I must be retarded because I don't know that all of the horrible things he says...about everything and everyone... aren't ACTUALLY what he thinks.

So, easy example, he talks crap about my parents ways and conservative politics..people who helped him to finance his car, and let him live WITH ME under their roof for 2 years. He refuses to visit them. Calls my mom a stupid b*tch and my dad annoying...but alas I am supposed to just say "It's not what he REALLY thinks of them!"

Another example, he is Tguy but hasn't done ONE thing to transition since I've known him. However I do hear constantly how he hates being called "ladies" when we're together. He hates that people assume we're lesbians. This person SAW ME TRANSITION and go from sirs to ma'ams. Don't they get it, you hafta DO something. Yet today he holds my passability and successes AGAINST ME like it was freaking easy or something. I tell him every time that I never once held it against someone that they called me sir before I physically began to transition!

He also believes that the problem isn't his negativity so much as that I dislike it. AHHHHH. My head's gonna explode!!! I don't want to leave him, truly I do love him. I know he is just beaten down, but his negativity has doomed him. Makes me saddddd. Sorry, I really needed to vent!!! 

Edited: many times. I also want to add I'm not NEAR perfect, have my mental moments. I can be a handful at times, but I do try to take notice my faults and address them.

[antonia]

I'm sad you are going through this, to me it sounds like there are some insecurity issues but I might be way off base here.

At the end of the day you need to make sure you are happy and sometimes that means short term pain.

Hope things get better one way or another.

- Antonia

Sorry Hun. I am going through a similar-feeling situation. It is very tough. My boyfriend made me happy and sad today. We've been together nearly 4 years.

We just got home from what started as a nice evening. I was happy as I got a group of our friends together at the last minute to surprise him after a rough week at work. We went out and all was well...

...until AS USUAL various things happened through the evening. Primarily I cannot take it anymore how much he lives to be negative. He almost wants trouble. He acts like he hates everything and everyone. He belittles the value of education and berates anyone who might give him advice. He is a hypocrite when it comes to acceptance. He is a T-guy and expects everyone to respect that and treat him right, then he turns around and absolutely positively disrespects EVERYONE who is not like him.

Tonight he went off on me that all the CRAP he talks is okay because he treats others fine... to their faces.  Tonight he said I must be retarded because I don't know that all of the horrible things he says...about everything and everyone... aren't ACTUALLY what he thinks.

So, easy example, he talks crap about my parents ways and conservative politics..people who helped him to finance his car, and let him live WITH ME under their roof for 2 years. He refuses to visit them. Calls my mom a stupid b*tch and my dad annoying...but alas I am supposed to just say "It's not what he REALLY thinks of them!"

Another example, he is Tguy but hasn't done ONE thing to transition since I've known him. However I do hear constantly how he hates being called "ladies" when we're together. He hates that people assume we're lesbians. This person SAW ME TRANSITION and go from sirs to ma'ams. Don't they get it, you hafta DO something. Yet today he holds my passability and successes AGAINST ME like it was freaking easy or something. I tell him every time that I never once held it against someone that they called me sir before I physically began to transition!

He also believes that the problem isn't his negativity so much as that I dislike it. AHHHHH. My head's gonna explode!!! I don't want to leave him, truly I do love him. I know he is just beaten down, but his negativity has doomed him. Makes me saddddd. Sorry, I really needed to vent!!! 

Edited: many times. I also want to add I'm not NEAR perfect, have my mental moments. I can be a handful at times, but I do try to take notice my faults and address them.

[Marcellow]

Might be getting famous too soon, it's great for visibility but not sure how I feel about it.

[Jill F]

I got hit on by the bass player playing at the bar tonight.   Was he blind?

[Allyda]

I got hit on by the bass player playing at the bar tonight.   Was he blind?

Good for you Jill! No, he's not blind he just liked you! Is that so strange? You look quite fabulous girl!

Happy Holidays!
Ally

[Jill F]

Good for you Jill! No, he's not blind he just liked you! Is that so strange? You look quite fabulous girl!

Happy Holidays!
Ally

Thank you so much.   I'm still new to this thing where straight guys are hitting on me, even with my wedding rings in plain sight.  I honestly don't think I'm exactly "pretty" or "super feminine" or "desirable".  Oh, if only he wasn't creepy in a "drives panel van with shag carpet" sort of way... 

[Marcellow]

Got the prescription for T and syringes for self injection but the doctor upgraded me to 10ml vial and now I gotta pay double what I expected. e__e

[Allyda]

Thank you so much.   I'm still new to this thing where straight guys are hitting on me, even with my wedding rings in plain sight.  I honestly don't think I'm exactly "pretty" or "super feminine" or "desirable".  Oh, if only he wasn't creepy in a "drives panel van with shag carpet" sort of way...

Unfortunately the unwanted or unexpected attention from guys is something we must get used to. It happens to me a lot and it still freaks me out a lil, but I've gotten better at not showing my nervousness over the last few years. I just giggle a lil sometimes, say thank's, or I'm flattered but I'm lesbian, or something along those lines while remaining polite and appreciative -after all guys hitting on you is sort of a compliment, then I go about my business. If he's creepy looking or "drives that panel van with shag carpet," I steer as clear of them as much as possible and stay in well lit areas until I can get away from them. I haven't had any close calls yet but there's a first time for everything.

After a while you'll even start to feel good about getting hit on, as it demonstrates your femininity. Getting treated like a lady is one of the best things ie: guys holding doors for you and such, I very much enjoy.

Happy Holidays!
Ally

[Jill F]

Unfortunately the unwanted or unexpected attention from guys is something we must get used to. It happens to me a lot and it still freaks me out a lil, but I've gotten better at not showing my nervousness over the last few years. I just giggle a lil sometimes, say thank's, or I'm flattered but I'm lesbian, or something along those lines while remaining polite and appreciative -after all guys hitting on you is sort of a compliment, then I go about my business. If he's creepy looking or "drives that panel van with shag carpet," I steer as clear of them as much as possible and stay in well lit areas until I can get away from them. I haven't had any close calls yet but there's a first time for everything.

After a while you'll even start to feel good about getting hit on, as it demonstrates your femininity. Getting treated like a lady is one of the best things ie: guys holding doors for you and such, I very much enjoy.

Happy Holidays!
Ally

Oh, the getting hit on part is something I can get used to, as is getting doors opened for me.   I just sort of want to roll my eyes at guys who hit on obviously married women.   Admittedly, having a "child molester moustache" as well and needing a breath mint or ten doesn't help.  And yes, I'm still sort of blown away now that I get treated like a woman everywhere I go, when in my head sometimes I'm still that "shaven ape in a dress" with no chance in hell.

Hugs to you,
Jill

[V M]

Woke up feeling really run down with a really gnarly headache    Feeling a little better but still kinda blah with a lingering headache

Hope I'm not coming down with something

[Rainbow Dash]

Kristy and Monica were talking about the 3 of us having a girls night out to see a movie. A minute later it hit me that it was about this time that Jannie and Azmaria came to visit and the 3 of us went to see " The girl with the dragon tattoo." 2 years ago. I was so amazingly happy to be with them. It was was the last time  I saw Jannie alive in person. I still miss her so much. Maybe that's another reason I have just become so grouchy with the Christmas holidays. Or why I am looking forward to spending future Christmases in a semi truck alone.  perhaps I need to back off a little from Monica and Kristy. I'm tired of losing good friends who I considered family. I don't want that to be the case with them too.

[Tossu-sama]

Unhappy: Had to take the cat to the vet today. It was clear he wasn't feeling well and based on what I saw and looked up in the internet, he had urinary problems. Well, he did. His urinary track was clogged at the tip of his little cat dingdong so it was a bit tricky to clear out.

Happy: He's okay now! And he had no stones so no surgery was required. It was just some mineral junk gathered over time. He's now on pain meds and antibiotics for few days. He's currently recovering from the sedatives he was given at the vet so it's kinda funny to watch... xD But he's starting to act normal again, shrimps got his attention right away.

[Rainbow Dash]

I failed my road test. got past all 3 backing maneuvers and then got out on the road and hit a curb.

But, during the night drive class, I shifted gears like a pro in her rig. 

[V M]

Actually yesterday, as I was about to leave the store a nice young man called me ma'am and asked me if I would like a ride home

Unfortunately, I think my voice gave me away when I asked if there was enough room for my bicycle and he gave me a rather perplexed look, but then he shrugged it off, said yes and gave me a ride anyway

I was feeling exhausted and was really glad I didn't have ride home on the icy roads 

[Skyler]

Having to move but then having to move all my stuff down a flight of stairs and into the van +car then having to move it all into new house... urgh! yaya!

[immortal gypsy]

First time waiting in line for a cubicle in the ladies to be free at the shops, and no weird looks at my direction. Yay for me

Umm did I mention I was waiting in line to go to the bathroom.

[Dee Marshall]

Having to move but then having to move all my stuff down a flight of stairs and into the van +car then having to move it all into new house... urgh! yaya!

I've been in exactly that position recently. I feel for you!

[ImagineKate]

Electrolysis didn't hurt that much today.

It still hurt and my face is swollen.

And I had to go to work with this yucky beard grown out.

Can't wait to shave off the ugly male face fur when I get home!

[Sydney_NYC]

Electrolysis didn't hurt that much today.

It still hurt and my face is swollen.

And I had to go to work with this yucky beard grown out.

Can't wait to shave off the ugly male face fur when I get home!

One thing you can do to help is to bring a razor (one that hasn't been used) and a little soap or very basic shaving cream (an electric razor is OK as well) and shave right after electrolysis (Shelly doesn't mind). I do it all the time. (not much left these days to do)

[ImagineKate]

One thing you can do to help is to bring a razor (one that hasn't been used) and a little soap or very basic shaving cream (an electric razor is OK as well) and shave right after electrolysis (Shelly doesn't mind). I do it all the time. (not much left these days to do)

Good advice. I can shave at work too.