Quote from: Apple Seed on October 17, 2012, 05:10:37 PM
"Maybe you are just gay".
I'm bi...
"It does not matter. Maybe you believe it but may be gay."
I basically went through that same kind of thing with myself, for at least the first year of taking testosterone...just a lot of aspects of my life/myself weren't lining up to the point I wondered if I was lying to myself about something, essentially it came down to "no straight cisgendered man with such a stereotypical sexuality can possibly have this many female friends and supposedly not really want to sleep with any of them.. so which is it, I don't want to admit I'm shallow, or I don't want to admit I'm gay??"

LOL. I also wondered if it had to do with being ftm, but given that more often than not what I've heard from others, is basically "I always hung out with boys as a kid, and pretty much thought of myself as one"...there are also a few cis-guys I know like this, but they're very far and few between. Maybe even more so than FTM's are. haha.
Probably just something I'd never really thought about before T/assumed was due to being socially seen as a girl/trying to be (like) one. Also this kind of deep-rooted apprehension I have about being "irrational" and it evading me completely in some way--probably because of my long history with anxiety attacks/phobias (characteristically irrational)...and the gender issues (just not really making much sense.)
Anyway...sorry for the ranting lol. Another one I can't stand is also from my parents (mostly my mom) "Men are physically active. I thought testosterone was gonna make you more like a man."
She obviously never listens when I talk about my chronic stress burnout issues, long-term nasty effects after going off (10+ years of) antidepressants, and physical pain I get lately from physical exertion.

I see it the way therapists probably would (and I've been to lots of those lol), you need to know when to stop looking for support where you aren't going to find it, and look elsewhere for it.