Favorite lines by people who "just don't get it"

[MadelineB]

Things actually said to me when I was out but not yet dressing:

-Why do you want to be an ugly chick?
-No one will ever believe you are a woman.
-Don't take this wrong, but thinking of you in a dress makes me want to throw up.
-You're about the least womanly man I know.
-Who do you think you are kidding?
-Is this a joke? You a girl?
-What makes you think you are a woman all of a sudden?
-You know you have to cut it off, right?
-You do know that you're bald?
-Are you sure you want to do this?
-Have you seen a shrink?

Funny, all of that stopped, completely (except for the occasional 'cut it off' comment) after they saw me dressed.

Then it was:
-Did the surgery to make you a woman hurt a lot? (asked me at the pharmacy on the 1st day after I went full time, by someone who knew me by name as a guy up til then)
-Every question that begins with: 'I hope you don't mind me asking this, but...'
-So how does your wife like being a lesbian?
-Are you going to keep your penis?
-What was so bad about being a man?
-Do you think you'll be arrested for fraud for not telling people you were really a woman inside?
-I am NOT transphobic; I just know you are not really transgender.
-It's not transphobic to hate a pervert in a dress.
-Don't you think you are being incredibly selfish?
-Just because you look like one and say you are one doesn't make you one.
-So are you going to have sex with [insert group here] now?
-What if you regret it and can't go back?
-Oh you were never suicidal. You're just making that up to control me.
-Come on, how much could you have really been suffering if you didn't become a woman until [insert age]?
-Money doesn't grow on trees you know. Why don't you just wait a few years?
-What if I need you to be a man?
-Are you doing this so that you can cheat on your wife?
-Are you doing this so that she will divorce you?
-Are you doing this just to make me mad?
-Why don't you just admit you are gay? There is nothing wrong with that.
-Are you going to quit your job now?
-What's next? Are you going to tell me that you are a serial killer?

You just have to laugh - educate - and be ready to walk away when necessary.

[suzifrommd]

Great list Madeline. Though, interestingly I noticed one line in particular.

-Are you going to keep your penis?

Person who said it may well be clueless, and is under any circumstances amazingly rude.

But maybe not a stupid question given the many non-op MtFs on Susan's who are every bit as female as the Post-ops.

[Edge]

-What's next? Are you going to tell me that you are a serial killer?

Please tell me you said yes.

[Bexi]

Please tell me you said yes.

Or better, didn't say anything and stared intently into their eyes with a slightly tilted head!
x

[MariaMx]

"Will you get periods and be able to get pregnant?"

[Catherine Sarah]

Nice one Maria,

"Will you get periods and be able to get pregnant?"

Just for the hell of it, that question begs the appropriate answer. YES!! I just love to gauge the reaction. Regrettably by the time I've been given that question, we've reached the pinnacle of the conversation and it's all down hill, quite rapidly, from here on in.

Be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Padma]

I forgot the leading ones:
"How long have you wanted to be a woman?" and
"How long have you thought you were a woman?"

Answer to both: never, obviously .

[King Malachite]

"You feel this way because of the things you went through as a child and your father was never there so you built up a wall."

"You have a masculine spirit attached to you."

"Even if you get the surgeries, they will not make you happy."

-Don't you think you are being incredibly selfish?

-What if I need you to be a man?

I love the contrast in those two statements. 

[Edge]

"Everyone has both masculine and feminine traits."
Any variation where they confuse being male with having (their definition of) masculine traits.

[MariaMx]

Nice one Maria,

Just for the hell of it, that question begs the appropriate answer. YES!! I just love to gauge the reaction. Regrettably by the time I've been given that question, we've reached the pinnacle of the conversation and it's all down hill, quite rapidly, from here on in.

Be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Only one person ever asked me this but unfortunately I didn't say yes, I just laughed. The next thing she asked was how I knew I was trans. I believe I told her it said so in the result that came back from the lab when they did my blood work 

[Catherine Sarah]

The next thing she asked was how I knew I was trans. I believe I told her it said so in the result that came back from the lab when they did my blood work 

Great reply Maria. Would have loved to seen the look on her face. As I said, the conversation does rapidly degenerate once you pass that question about pregnancy.

Huggs
Catherine

[Padma]

Whenever people ask me "Are you going to get it cut off, then?", as they often do - I always reply (in a jaunty tone, and with a mad look in my eye):

"Nonono, I'm going to have it turned inside out, and then I'm going to grow potatoes in it!!!"

[Nicolette]

Whenever people ask me "Are you going to get it cut off, then?", as they often do..

My reply would be: "None of your fk business". Why even honour their very personal, and frankly very offensive, questions with an answer? What do you owe them? These "favourite lines" are not good for my normally low blood pressure. I'd better stop reading.

[Marcia]

A couple of my favorites are

"well you could think male and be male but it won't happen unless you have a clear head"

and this one still hurts when I read it

"no surgery no matter what you do. even you did go through the whole thing. you may feel look like a female, and possibly down there, but you wouldn't be completely a female" - well duh but at least my body would match my mind ( still can't believe that it was this person that said this to me)

[Arch]

I've always loved the question "Wouldn't it be easier to stay the same and just be straight? I mean, you'd be normal. Now you'll be, what--a gay man? Why would you want to live that way?"

Gee, I don't know. Because that's what I really am?

Or "But then you wouldn't be straight anymore. What would you be?"

Perhaps a giraffe.

[Jeatyn]

The most confusing one for me was after I came out to a pretty close friend and he said "oh I don't believe in that, I think people just do it to escape who they really are"

erm what? It's only like...the EXACT opposite of that

He refused to change his viewpoint no matter what I said, so we're no longer friends

[Arch]

He refused to change his viewpoint no matter what I said, so we're no longer friends

So, according to this guy, who are you really?! And how would he feel if you told him that YOU get to decide who HE really is? Sheesh.

[Nicolette]

.. I dismissed rather quickly as anything pertaining to my being trans is really none of their business and I am not shy about pointing that out.

Precisely and good on you.

[Beth Andrea]

My reply would be: "None of your fk business". Why even honour their very personal, and frankly very offensive, questions with an answer? What do you owe them? These "favourite lines" are not good for my normally low blood pressure. I'd better stop reading.

I tend to be pretty casual and willing to discuss any topic when a person has the gumption to ask it...even if they don't realize that it's "personal."

If they ask, they're able to understand the answer.

In theory. The reality is I have YET to meet even one person who will change their ideas based on what I say. At most, I may be planting a seed...but it seems to me (based on talking to many people about many things) that the "more wrong" their views are, the "more likely" that nothing will take root.

"Wrong" is defined as "against any and all evidence to the contrary."

I read somewhere that that is a useful definition of bigotry.

I don't get angry though...no reason to. Bigots simply cannot think beyond their world. All I can do is smile and wish them well in their journey.

But, that's me.

[MadelineB]

Great list Madeline. Though, interestingly I noticed one line in particular.

Person who said it may well be clueless, and is under any circumstances amazingly rude.

But maybe not a stupid question given the many non-op MtFs on Susan's who are every bit as female as the Post-ops.

Thanks Agfrommd. Very good point!
Unfortunately the person who asked it wasn't asking if I was going to keep my genitals un-altered (that would be a great question as long as it was someone I was intimate / potentially intimate with). Many of us either aren't candidates for GRS, don't want it, or can't afford it.

But this guy was one of those people who doesn't understand that most GRS surgeries for transsexual women involve inversion of the penis, but never a penectomy. When I asked a clarifying question, it turned out they were asking if I would get to keep it in a jar of formaldehyde to show people. He sounded really worried about what happens to penises people don't want. LOL.